


The Five Ways To Court A Winchester

by thejigsawtimess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Drunkenness, Everybody Lives, Heaven, Hilarity Ensues, Humor, M/M, Meddling, Plans, Scheming, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-29 00:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 45,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejigsawtimess/pseuds/thejigsawtimess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is sick of Sam ignoring him, and he suspects Castiel is having similar problems with Dean. Together, they're sure they can concoct a plan brilliant enough that both of them will get their man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Way To Court A Winchester

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Les cinq façons de courtiser un Winchester](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7101049) by [Aconit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aconit/pseuds/Aconit)



> Set immediately after 5x08 'Changing Channels'.  
> This is a Destiel AND Sabriel story, so be prepared to read about both pairings in equal parts :)
> 
> Obviously this concept is to be taken lightly, I am just having a little fun ;)  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Gabriel gritted his teeth, his four magnificent wings slicing through the darkening air as he transcended from the Earthly plane. This feeling consuming him was utterly infuriating, sending heat pulsing through his entire being, clouding his every thought. He felt the familiar push of the barrier separating Earth and Heaven slide over his rippling feathers and silently, so as not to attract the attention of the Seraphs guarding the gate to The Garden, he slipped through a small passage invisible to those who did not know of its existence. As Gabriel glided as quietly as possible through the narrow, dark avenue, one thought consumed him, its rhetoric poignance utterly consuming his every action:

_Why doesn't Sam Winchester like me?!_

* * *

Gabriel knew, on some level, that he was being pathetic. But there were many other levels to him that argued that Sam Winchester was funny, and smart, and …okay,  _hot._ And those other levels made some damn good arguments. So he'd failed once again in his attempts to capture the younger Winchester's attention; the kid had barely even said two words to him throughout the whole arduous and angelically draining 'trapped-in-TV' experience. What was he doing wrong? Sam just looked perpetually unamused by everything Gabriel conjured up, and he was giving Sam special attention here!

 _Come on dude, the nutcracker… genital herpes… doesn't it seem like I might have a teensy fixation here?,_ Gabriel thought, annoyed.

It was hardly his fault that his big brothers had decided to go and destroy the world by having another raging bitch fit was it? And when he'd presented the facts of the final fight to Sam and Dean in an amusing, fun little package tied up with a bow, suddenly  _he_ was the bad guy!

Gabriel reached the end of the passage and began to slow, his wings beating far more gradually now. He saw the opening up ahead, taking a breath of relief when he saw it was still open and unguarded even after all this time. He edged closer and snuck through the hole, quickly standing up and taking a moment to shake out his glorious wings. That Dean had given him a thorough telling-off too. It wasn't like he  _had_ to put up with their crap. If it were anyone else, Dean Winchester would currently be on the receiving end of a hilarious and deadly prank, but – purely because Gabriel knew first-hand what Sammy's (puppy-eyed) reaction was to Dean dying – he would leave the idiot alone.

Centuries ago, possibly longer, Gabriel had created several little 'back entrances' into the Heavenly Garden. He had been tricking long before that became his job title, though few people knew, and whilst Gabriel had enjoyed many hundreds of years of being able to 'sneak-out' whenever he pleased without his brothers catching him, over time most of these secret passageways had been sealed off. Gabriel hardly minded, even he could see it was reckless to have unguarded secret entrances into Heaven of all places – what if Demons somehow discovered them? Unlikely, but theoretically possible – and anyway, it's not like Michael and Raphael had managed to find them all. Hence, Gabriel was able to sneak into his old home after his latest run in with the Winchesters, right after they'd trapped him in a holy fire and squeezed out every last drop of information and dignity he had left.

He looked around himself curiously. This passageway had led him right into the middle of his own personal hiding place, founded by him when he was still a favoured member of the Archangelic 'merry men'. It was, technically speaking, off the map, under the radar –carefully designed to go unnoticed to his big, scary brothers as they flitted about pretending God was whispering in their ears. He'd designed it himself of course – a garden in itself, circular, and surrounded by tall, lush green trees that sealed off any views of the departed soul's paradises that lay just beyond. Gabriel would retreat here when his brothers fought, as they often did, refusing to get involved or pick a side. Sometimes they would look for him, and Gabriel would hear them calling his name (in its original Enochian form) – despite its jarring sound against the fragile ears of the souls resting peacefully in their own paradises – but he would never answer.

Gabriel looked around the hiding spot now, at the dewy blades of grass beneath his feet, remembering how he would sit for hours, contemplating a life elsewhere. But that meant falling, he'd thought then, before he'd run away, and he didn't want to fall.

"Gabriel."

Gabriel spun round, eyes wide, his Grace running like liquid silver down his forearm and pooling into the cold dagger of his Archangel's blade in his palm quicker than a blink. He took in the trenchcoat, the weary expression, the pure, innocent youth in two shining blue eyes.

"Castiel?" Gabriel's grip on the blade loosened slightly, his head tilting – an unconscious reaction. "How…"

"I admired you a great deal when we belonged in Heaven together, Gabriel. I once followed you here, back when…" Castiel trailed off, not wanting to speak of a time that was so deeply rooted in the past it was physically painful to think about. Gabriel's lips formed a thin straight line. "I come here sometimes now. It is quiet here. Peaceful."

"Private." Gabriel grumbled, tucking the blade securely away. Castiel looked up, but sensed there was no real venom behind Gabriel's words. He was flattered at Castiel's admiration. He was a prideful creature after all.

A few moments of silence passed between them, teetering on the edge between companionable and awkward. Sighing, Gabriel snapped his fingers and a wooden bench appeared in the centre of the garden; its wood a rich mahogany, framed in curled, twisting black iron. Gabriel slumped down onto it, his face brooding.

"God, those brats are  _annoying._ " Gabriel whined, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

Castiel hesitated for a moment, looking uncomfortable. Then he sighed, seeming to let all defences slip along with his rigid posture. His shoulders drooped and he sat down next to his brother on the bench, still upright but significantly less robot-like.

"They can be a nuisance at times, I will allow." Castiel agreed, and Gabriel opened one eye to look at him, shocked.

"No! Don't tell me you agree with me little brother? You, who kisses the ground before that older chucklehead takes a step?" Gabriel feigned surprise, one hand fluttering over his heart, and his jaw dropping wide. Castiel glared.

"Dean Winchester is many things. Loyal, moral, righteous, brave-"

"Cute, sexy, handsome?" Gabriel interrupted, grinning now at Castiel as he listed Dean's attributes.

"- _loving._ " Castiel corrected, glaring again. "But he is also stubborn, and self-deprecating, and yes, often very annoying."

"Huh." Gabriel said, his arms spreading out across the back of the bench. He gazed over at his stoic little brother curiously, regarding him with renewed interest. Castiel seemed to grow irritable under the staring and snarled.

"What?!"

"You lurrrve him." Gabriel sang, delighted at the discovery.

Castiel flushed immediately, and sat up ramrod straight. All rookie mistakes, betraying his youth and inexperience. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Gabriel grinned and shimmied closer to the younger Angel, new ideas swarming in his mind already with this new information. "Oh, I think you do. You were told to clutch that pretty boy and hoist him out of the fire, but he got his scent on you didn't he?" Castiel frowned at him, but shifted uncomfortably, attempting to move away from Gabriel, who was now seriously invading any personal space he may have once had. "What happened? You get a little greedy? You smoothing out all his bumps and scrapes and leave a little claim on your hand-sculpted piece of ass?"

Gabriel was half-joking, but Castiel was immediately defensive. "It's not like that! The mark I left on Dean was a reminder of his torment, a warning to other creatures that he was the righteous man and not to be touched. Or I would come for them." Castiel's eyes darkened at the idea. "It wasn't some petty territorial claim!"

Gabriel expertly arched one eyebrow, leaning back and folding his arms. "Uh-huh."

Castiel turned away, shaking his head a little. "What you did today was… foolish."

Gabriel chuckled and shrugged a little, unable to disagree. "Mmmmaybe…" He grinned and gave Castiel a playful punch on the shoulder. "I had my reasons."

"And what were they? To terrify the Winchesters into accepting Lucifer and Michael's ridiculous plan for them? Gabriel, this whole plan is flawed, not to mention overplayed. I am certain that God would never have wanted this, he loved us. He loved them, humans, his greatest creation. Why would he support a plan that would destroy them?" Castiel shook his head, clearly unable to comprehend.

"I agree, bro." Gabriel said, shrugging again. "It's a stupid, stupid plan. But it's also the only one anyone's got so…"

"So you thought you'd just create hundreds of alternate realities and trap the brothers in there until they go through with it, _even though you disagree_?" Castiel asked, disbelief etched onto his face. Gabriel turned away, pouting. "Or maybe you also have a hidden agenda?"

Gabriel's head whipped back around to face Castiel, and he became immediately wary of the glint in his little brother's eyes. "I don't know what you're-"

"Perhaps you thought that your fixation on Sam Winchester had escaped my notice, brother?" Castiel asked, his small smile an ironic mirror of Gabriel's just moments before.

"Now hold on-" Gabriel began, but Castiel wasn't finished.

"Sam is a remarkable individual, it's really of little wonder why you took such an interest in him. You are similar to him in many ways. The running away, the disobedience of your father, your little… bad streak…" Anger stained Gabriel's face. "Although I do think your methods of courting could do with a little work." Castiel finished, fully smiling now at Gabriel's enraged expression.

"Oh yeah?" Gabriel spat, Castiel's final words suddenly sending the urge to prove him wrong tumbling out of him like a waterfall. He felt interest begin to spark at the edges of his mind. "…And what would you suggest instead?"

Castiel's eyes widened. "W-what?"

Ideas, beautiful and bright, swarmed Gabriel's mind, stirred his Grace excitedly, sending it coursing through his veins until his whole body was thrumming. Alone, he was near useless – Sam barely had time for him at all; he was too different in all the wrong ways, too jokey, too sarcastic, too cruel for good-natured, kind-hearted little Sammy. But  _Cas –_ once Heaven's little poster boy – he was like a friggin encyclopaedia of know-how about how to get little Sammy all riled up and romanced.

And he, Gabriel, was perfect to help Cas too! Dean was all bravado and humour-defence-mechanisms. Hell, if anyone knew about that crap it was Gabriel. He'd been at it thousands of years! It hit him in a tidal wave, a tsunami of realisation raining down upon him on a wooden bench in a hidden garden:

 _Alone we're useless, we don't know what the hell we're doing. But_ _**together** _ _…_

"Castiel!" Gabriel suddenly cried, and Cas's petrified expression at the sudden outburst was probably an indication that Gabriel had been silent for a good few minutes while his epiphany had come to him. He gripped his brother by his trenchcoated shoulders and laughed delightedly. "Cas kiddo, don't you worry about a thing. You and I, we're gonna come up with a plan."

**The Five Ways to Court a Winchester.**

* * *

* * *

 

Dean scribbles a few words half-heartedly down on a notepad in his hand, one ear cocked towards the teenage girl he's 'interviewing' about the recent violent death of her neighbour. She can't be more than sixteen, seventeen perhaps at a push, and yeah she's cute but Dean is  _so_ not heading down that train of thought, especially as her very nervous and very stoned-looking boyfriend is sitting on the couch just behind her, watching Dean anxiously with red, watery eyes.

The girl can't half talk though, and she seems to have no trouble describing exactly what she saw when the neighbour in question ran out of his house screaming, covered in what sound like some seriously nasty burns from his kettle deciding to spontaneously combust while he made an innocent cup of tea. Dean's fighting the urge to yawn when he spots Sammy out of the corner of his eye, waving at him in the most inconspicuous way possible considering they're meant to be FBI at a crime scene. He's clutching a tiny round bag in his hand, seemingly tied at the top with some sort of twine. Sam makes a face that says 'you know what this means', and Dean does. A hex bag.

"Friggin witches." Dean mumbles under his breath, nodding slightly at Sam, "great."

"I'm sorry?" The girl asks, suddenly eyeing Dean as if he were insane. He turns his attention back to her and gives his most charming grin.

"Um, nothing. Don't worry about it." He flips his pad closed. "Okay! I think I've got all I need here, thank you for your time, Miss."

Dean makes a hasty retreat towards Sam, leaving the girl glowering after him, presumably for not letting her finish her elaborate retelling of a grisly murder.  _Maybe all those soccer moms have a point about kids being too addicted to violence these days_ , Dean thinks idly as he walks back to the car with Sam. Then he thinks about how much he'd loved films like Halloween and Friday the 13th as a kid and dismisses the thought immediately.

"So witches, huh?" Dean calls over the top of the car to Sam before opening the driver's side door and sliding in. He shudders a little once he's inside the warm Impala interior; it's an unusually cold day. "I hate witches."

Sam chuckles as he closes the passenger side door behind him, fastening his seatbelt with an audible clack. "I know you do. I'm not exactly their biggest fan either Dean, but it's not like we're trying to be BFF's with them is it?"

Dean shrugs and turns on the engine, conceding that yes, the upside of a witch hunt is that you get to kill the bitches after you've dealt with their mess.

* * *

Dean isn't even fully through the door of the room before Sam is heading over to his laptop, already frothing at the mouth in anticipation of the research he needs to do in relation to the new information they've found. Dean lets out a groan.

"Ugh, Sammy do you ever just chill?"

Sam pauses, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. "…We're in the middle of a case, Dean."

"So?"

"…So people are  _dying._ " Dean rolls his eyes in response at Sam's guilt trip, and Sam turns back to the screen.

 _Whatever_ , Dean thinks, toeing off his shiny monkey-suit shoes,  _I'm gonna need a beer to get through an evening of boning up on witchcraft_.

He crosses to the fridge and pulls out a bottle, getting one for Sam too, though he'll probably be the one that ends up drinking it, seeing as Sam is so engrossed.

"Okay, so why do you think Regina George was a target for the witches as well as her neighbour?" Dean asks at length, sitting down on the end of one of the beds and taking a long swig.

Sam pauses his typing and looks at him, a smirk on his lips. "Regina George?"

Dean narrows his eyes at his brother. "Lindsay Lohan was a fine comedy actress in her day. Mean Girls is a classic, man." Sam nods slowly, clearly seconds away from hysterics. Dean glowers some more. " Look, whatever! I mean, we found the hex bag at her house right? So the witch wanted her to die too."

Sam sighs, storing away his discovery of his brother's penchance for chick flicks for later teasing material. He shrugs at him. "I'm not sure. Honestly, I think it might just be random. I mean it is the apocalypse after all, maybe there's just a crazy witch thinking she'll join in the party by picking off a whole street of next door neighbours one after another."

Dean furrows his brow at that, taking another long pull. That certainly seemed strange behaviour, even for the apocalypse. He's never known a hunt without some sort of motive or pattern behind the killings. Especially with witches, who were essentially humans on a power trip. He opens his mouth, about to say as much when something flashes into his peripheral vision, almost making him choke.

"…Hello, Dean." Castiel says, looking a little sheepish at having given Dean a slight heart attack. "Sam." He acknowledges.

Sam nods towards him over the top of his screen, clearly lost in Witch lore.

"Alright Cas?" Dean manages to get out after his heartbeat has slowed somewhat. "You uh- you good?" Castiel turns slightly towards him, frowning a little.

"Yes, I'm fine." He replies, looking Dean straight in the eyes, unblinking. It's unnerving as hell, and Dean starts to fidget under the scrutiny. "…Thankyou for asking me, Dean."

Dean nearly chokes again, and tries to keep from looking at Sam, who he knows will be smirking at him in that infuriating way of his.

"Cool, uh... no worries." Dean says in response, desperate to change the subject. "Uh, we're in the middle of a witch hunt. If you're not busy… you wanna stick around for a bit? Could always use angelic assistance when we're dealing with friggin witches."

Castiel's eyes light up, and Dean pretends not to notice how happy Cas seems to be that Dean has invited him to stay around for a while. Way too easily pleased, he thinks, and then feels terrible for it.

"Very well. How far have you got with the hunt?" Castiel asks, his eyebrows raised innocently.

"Kinda sounds like he's asking you on a date there Cassy." A voice suddenly pipes up from behind Dean, and the hunter swivels round, ready to tackle an enemy, to find that it's  _Gabriel_ of all people, reclined casually on Sam's bed, clearly having been watching the scene for who knows how long. "My big brotherly advice – don't put out till the  _second_ date. Especially with this womanising yahoo."

Sam looks up from his laptop just long enough to take in the sight of Gabriel and tut loudly, rolling his eyes. "I thought we got rid of you." He mumbles, scribbling something down on a pad next to him.

Gabriel beams at Sam and winks despite the younger brother having turned away. "I don't give up that easily, gorgeous."

Sam just rolls his eyes again and continues to scroll down the page of the site he's browsing through. Castiel exchanges a look with Gabriel then that Dean finds difficult to decipher, but looks almost like sympathy. Dean shakes his head, unable to remain quiet any longer.

"Gabriel just… what the hell? Get out of here! We just dealt with you, and now we're in the middle of a friggin hunt, do you mind?"

"Woah! Easy boy." Gabriel cries, chuckling and miming pulling the reins on a horse. Dean grits his teeth. "I'm here to help! Honest."

"Honest? Oh yeah, cause that's a primary aspect of your personality, Gabriel." Dean retorts, scoffing. "Last time we saw you, you tried to lock us in TV land until we agreed to become puppets for your whiny, self-absorbed siblings!"

"Yeah… okay, I'll admit that may have been a little extreme." Gabriel admits, shrugging. He exchanges another indecipherable look with Cas, which Dean finds really irritating. What, so they have angelic secrets now?  _Since when did Cas get chummy with this asshole?_  "But I apologise. Truly I do." Gabriel says, trying to look sincere. "Sorry about your jewels, Sammy!" Gabriel says, lifting his voice to try and penetrate through Sam's intense concentration.

"Not. Accepted." Sam says evenly, never taking his eyes off the screen.

Gabriel sighs, smiling a little. "Anyway, I'm sorry, I was wrong, blah blah… Can we skip to the part where I tell you that you're being played like a couple of boneheads?"

Dean tries make his confused 'what the hell' glance towards Castiel as nonchalant as possible, but this fails spectacularly given that Castiel isn't even looking at Dean; his eyes are fixed warily on Gabriel, though he doesn't appear particularly concerned.

"…What?" Dean asks at length, when it becomes clear nobody is going to elaborate. Gabriel smirks in a way that makes Dean's fists clench.

"You'd think that after all your run-ins with witches you'd be a little smarter about this kind of thing by now." Gabriel says breezily, managing to catch Sam's confused eye at last, and taking the opportunity to wink at him. He snaps his fingers exaggeratedly and immediately two squashed-looking hex bags appear on the keyboard Sam's fingers rest against.

"What the…" Sam exclaims at the sight of them, drawing his hands away in cautious fear.

"Where'd they come from?!" Dean cries, standing and crossing over to Sam in order to inspect the bags more closely.

"Under your pillows." Gabriel answers, eyebrows raised at them pointedly.

Castiel shifts uncomfortably.

"Jeez! Friggin sneaky witches. Nice one, man. I guess we owe you." Dean says, turning away from the hex bags and shuddering a little. Witches really gave him the creeps.

"Not a problem Dean-o." Gabriel says, grinning. Castiel shoots him a look.

"Yeah… thanks, Gabriel." Sam says, untying one of the hex bags and picking through the contents. "We'll destroy these, I just wanna check-"

"Okay, I'm gonna save you boys a lot of trouble." Gabriel interrupts, jumping up from the bed suddenly and striding into the middle of the room. "It's the cute prom queen." Dean's mouth falls open. "Little miss no bra? Suzie stoner-boyfriend?" Gabriel continues, searching Dean's face for recognition.

"What?" Sam suddenly cries, his voice laced with scepticism. "Don't be ridiculous, Gabriel. It can't be her, we found a hex bag in her house! She's a target!"

Gabriel swivels on his heels to look down upon Sam, still sitting casually in his chair by the laptop. He grins, a glint in his eye. "Aw, Sammy. Don't you trust me?" Sam splutters. "Look, you can either take my word for it, go down and torch the murderous bitch, or you can spend the next few hours trawling the internet to find out about Suzanne Parker's four year grudge against a neighbour who called the cops on all her 'bitchin' house parties, and also that the hex bag she strategically hid behind a cabinet in her house was a  _fake,_ intended to mislead you."

Dean glances towards Castiel, managing to catch his eye at long last. The younger Angel is chewing his lip and for a moment Dean is worried, but then Cas gives him a nod, as if confirming that they should trust Gabriel on this matter, and hell, it's good enough for Dean right now. Especially if it means no research required.

Sam glowers at Gabriel but begins to lower his laptop lid, surrendering. "Fine." Sam mutters, and Gabriel feels an overwhelming surge of success at the word. "But I'm still checking to make sure the hex bag is a fake."

Gabriel figures that's not a bad result, considering everything he's put Sam through recently.

Dean downs the rest of his beer and tries not to let his gaze keep flicking back towards Cas.

* * *

"Okay, so how bout this little bro…" Gabriel cleared his throat dramatically, and Castiel raised his eyebrows. " **The first way to court a Winchester: Save their life.** "

"Save their life? Don't you think that's sort of… a given?" Castiel asked, sounding unsure. He was sat in the exact same position, despite he and Gabriel having been in this Heavenly garden for well over a day in Earth time. It was necessary though – they were planning an elaborate master plan for something of deadly importance.

…And so far they'd gotten nowhere. How hard could it be to think up effective ways to woo the Winchester boys? Very, as it turned out.

Gabriel scoffed, sliding further down into the bench until he was practically falling off it. "For you maybe. I'm generally more focused on  _endangering_ their lives in various, fun little ways."

"…But they are both destined to be of extreme importance. That they remain alive is surely of the utmost importance regardless-" Castiel began, making Gabriel groan.

"Okay, okay enough!" Gabriel interrupted, sitting up and raising a hand in an attempt to restore some authority. "Look, you may have saved them a few times already Cassy, but I haven't had the honour. From what you tell me about their – admittedly few – relationships with other human beings, being the one to save their lives puts you at the top of their friend list."

"It's true that they are often excessively grateful when I am forced to intervene." Castiel mused thoughtfully, staring off into the cluster of trees ahead of him. "I suppose we shall have to bide our time, watch the brothers closely, and wait for an opportunity to save them."

Gabriel stopped laughing about three minutes later, looking up to see Castiel's annoyed and confused expression staring back at him. "Oh, baby brother. I have so much to teach you."

Castiel just looked even more confused.

"We're not going to sit around in this godforsaken place that is, coincidentally, crawling with Angels ready to sell us  _both_ out to our lovely brothers until the Winchesters  _happen_ to stumble into a case that might just be dangerous enough to warrant some good ol' divine intervention."

"It actually happens far more than you might expect for two hunters as experienced as Sam and Dean-"

Gabriel cut Castiel off with another raise of his hand. "Look, the point is, why wait around for something that good, when you can just whip it up yourself?"

Castiel immediately looked horrified and stood up from the bench. "Are you suggesting we intentionally put Dean and Sam into harm's way just so that we can save them and look like heroes?"

"No! Of course not!" Gabriel cried indignantly, avoiding Castiel's steely gaze. "Well, actually, now that you mention it…"

"Absolutely not." Castiel replied, his trenchcoat swirling dramatically around his shins as he turned his back on the Archangel.

Gabriel chuckled and began tapping out a rhythm on the arm of the bench. "C'mon Cassy, I've seen how pink your cheeks go when Dean manages to choke out a thank you once in a blue moon." Castiel's shoulders remained rigid. Gabriel got to his feet slowly, making his way over to Cas and slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Think about it," he crooned silkily, "Dean's all tied up and helpless, calling for his big strong Angel to come and save him…" Gabriel risked a glance up to Castiel's face, catching a glint in his cerulean eyes. "…then BAM in swoops Castiel! You light up a couple of ghosties or demons, free your damsel in distress from his chains and ride off together on your gleaming white stallion… into a shimmering sunset… hair flowing in the breeze…"

Gabriel trailed off, his eyes glazed. At length he snapped his gaze back to Castiel, who was staring at him curiously, head tilted. "Sorry… got a little carried away there." Gabriel grinned sheepishly.

Castiel sighed heavily and lifted Gabriel's arm from his shoulders. "Alright Gabriel. If you're certain it will earn me Dean's admiration. And that no harm will befall either of them."

Gabriel tried to swallow his excitement. "Alright!" He cried, clapping Castiel on the shoulder before leaning in towards him conspiratorially. "So, I'm thinking witches."

Castiel's eyes went wide.

* * *

 

 

  
"Well that went spectacularly well." Castiel utters, his wings sliding back into invisibility as he touches down on the mortal plane once more.

 

 

"Oh zip it, twinkles." Gabriel snaps, fluttering into a landing beside him. "It went fine, they think we're wonderful, helpful little cherubs. In their eyes, we arrived, gave them some extremely handy pointers and made an enigmatically mysterious exit under the rouse of 'Angel business'." Gabriel pauses, cocking his head, remembering. "Man, Sammy looked all kinds of scrumptious in that monkey suit, huh?"

"Gabriel. This is not the moment to be discussing-" Castiel begins in a warning tone.

"Oh come on, what's the point of this whole crazy scheme if we can't ogle them like horny teenagers along the way?" Gabriel asks, gesturing wildly, forcing Castiel to reach out and pin his arms to his sides.

"Not now, Gabriel! This part of the plan is extremely dangerous, we can't keep bickering like this. If we let our concentration slip, Sam and Dean could die!" Castiel chastises, gripping Gabriel by the shoulder. Gabriel rolls his eyes, but lets the matter drop.

"Would you relax? It's just a witch. Nothing's gonna go wrong." Gabriel murmurs, turning back to watch the young girl in front of him, her lips moving over an incantation as her eyes cloud over with white.

The Angels chose their positions carefully earlier in the day; in a corner of the abandoned house where this witch has chosen to set up base camp, within sight of the front door, but with an excellent view of almost the entire room as well. They made sure to cloak themselves upon appearing, to ensure that the pretty young girl, who is in reality an extremely clever and dangerous witch, wouldn't suspect anything would go awry in her plan.

Now, as she finishes up her spell, sending a bolt of bluish lightning flashing through the small, debris-littered room, her boyfriend makes a whimpering, bewildered sound from behind his gag. She glances towards where he lies sprawled on a large marble table, his ankles and wrists bound to it with scarlet ribbon, his skin marred with burns from what looks to the silent Angels like candle wax.

She grimaces at him, but stands, slowly meandering over to his helpless form, a look of disgust on her face.

"What's the matter, baby?" She asks, cruelty lacing her voice. Castiel sends out a prayer that the Winchesters hurry up. "You don't like being my sacrifice?"

The reddened eyes grow wide and he whimpers again, struggling against his bonds. She gives him a cruel smile and scratches a long red fingernail down his bared chest, his shirt having already been ripped open.

"Don't worry, baby. Not much longer now. This was gonna be a quick job, but these two morons that think they're Mulder and Scully are trying to get the jump on me." Gabriel chuckles at her pop culture reference and Castiel shushes him, feeling more nervous by the second. "So we gotta wait for them to show up, for me to kill them, and then –  _finally –_ you can get an answer to the question that's been plaguing you ever since we started going out." She leans forward, resting her elbows on his chest and staring into his eyes. "Why would a girl as hot as me go for a lazy, unshaven, weed-smoking loser like you?" She tilts her head, mocking. "You're my little delinquent, baby. The best at being the literal worst scum of the neighbourhood, and that's what the ritual requires. So you can die safe in the knowledge that at least in one way, you're perfect."

The door swings open wide with a sudden resounding crash, and the witch leans back from her gentle torture to idly observe Sam and Dean storming through it, guns raised defensively, the wind howling in after them in an ironically dramatic scream.

In no more than two seconds the boys are flung across the room, their bodies smacking against the opposite wall with impressive force. She pins them there with a steady gaze, watching them groan in pain and struggle feebly against the invisible bonds she has bound them with.

"Let us go you psycho bitch!" Dean yells over the roaring of the wind, still pouring in through the open door, sending pieces of brick and wooden debris skittering across the floor. The witch sighs loudly and with a flick of her wrist the door slams shut.

"I don't think so, cutie." She says in a low voice, and it sounds way too menacing for a teenage bimbo. "Hmm, I think I'm gonna use that strangulation charm I've been itching to try…" She says quietly, presumably to herself. Dean bares his teeth at her.

Castiel, still invisible, rounds on Gabriel, his eyes flicking between the Archangel and the Winchester's plight. "We should uncloak ourselves now." Castiel says, hoping to God that Gabriel agrees.

"What?" Gabriel says, a smirk playing on his lips. "It's just getting good! Cassy calm down, we can wait a little longer." Castiel turns helplessly back to the scene in front of him, where the witch is now muttering another incantation, presumably the strangulation charm she mentioned.

"Dean!" Sam hisses, turning his face as much as possible towards his brother considering they are both plastered to the cold stone wall side by side. "What do we do? This witch is a lot more powerful than we thought!"

"Oh, you think?!" Dean hisses back, annoyed. The witch opens one eye to stare at them as they bicker quietly, her steady stream of nonsense-sounding words never faltering. "I dunno Sammy, you're the one with all the Witch knowledge!"

"I knew we should have done research! Damn Gabriel!" Sam curses, and Dean rolls his eyes.

Castiel pats Gabriel's shoulder awkwardly upon hearing Sam's slur against him, trying to be sympathetic, but Gabriel shrugs him off, irritated.

The witch finishes her spell and a loud popping sound fills the air for second. Dean and Sam look at each other in confusion, and then they start to feel it. At first it's akin to wearing a particularly snug turtleneck sweater, or a tie on a really hot day. Dean gulps and sweat starts to pool on his brow. Sam tries to clear his throat, only to find that upon inhaling, he struggles to find the air.

Soon, both the boys are writhing against the wall as invisible claws grip their necks tightly, squeezing against their adam's apples, cutting off blood and air flow. The witch laughs as if she were hearing a funny joke, before stalking back over towards her boyfriend/victim. Sam tries to reach his arm out, to do anything at all, but it's no use, his limbs are plastered to his sides, there's no hope of breaking free. In his oxygen-deprived state, Dean likens the experience to a ride he once went on at a Carnival when he was about sixteen. They called it 'The Cage' he thinks, and it spun so fast you were pinned to the walls, unable to move.

_And I loved that friggin ride,_ Dean thinks, getting no satisfaction out of the irony of the thought.

Dean manages to suck in what he thinks will almost definitely be his last breath, and Sam is pretty certain he's going to black out, when suddenly a blinding white light fills the room, distracting both boys from their imminent deaths.

They hear a girlish scream of pure agony, and a burst of purplish flames erupts in a magnificent plume where the witch stood moments ago. Almost immediately the chokeholds around the two Winchester's break, sending them sliding down the wall and into a heap on the floor.

Sam looks up blearily to see Castiel untying the boy, still whimpering helplessly on the table across the room. "C-Cas?" Sam chokes out, his throat immediately chastising him for trying to talk.

"Oh sure, thank the novice." Gabriel says from where he is suddenly crouched down next to Sam, making the younger Winchester nearly jump out of his skin. Sam just about has time to feel relieved that he's in the hands of Angels, before a sudden commotion across the room alerts his attention.

The boy, now freed of his scarlet wrist bonds, sits up suddenly, his arms and legs ripping free of the other ribbons easily. He smiles eerily, just enough to get everyone's skin crawling and Sam looks up just in time to see his eyes go black.

"Goddammit!" Gabriel moans, sounding annoyed but not frightened, which Sam supposes is probably a good thing. "Demon, Cas!"

"How did we not see its true face?" Castiel asks worriedly, his arms raised in a stance, as though preparing to fight the demon in that awesome slamming palms-against-foreheads way.

"I am no ordinary demon." It says, it's smile growing unnaturally wide, so much so that the boy's cheeks begin to split and bleed. "I have been summoned to this place. A sacrifice was made upon the marble table; the witch you destroyed completed the ritual, and now I am free."

"Well shit." Gabriel says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Didn't think of that."

Sam rolls his eyes and tries to scoff at his ignorance, but ends up wincing in pain as his throat throbs angrily.

"Even now, I drain the life of the one you have neglected to attend to. He tastes ssssso delicious. Like a thunderstorm." Its eyes flash black again and it inhales deeply, its dark skin rippling in delight. Gabriel looks disgusted by it.

"Dean!" Castiel shouts, and begins to immediately cross to where he is slumped on the ground, eyes closed, unmoving. The demon snarls and lunges for Castiel, tackling him to the ground with an animalistic pounce. Castiel struggles against him as it claws and bites, but it is clearly unnaturally strong even for a demon. "Dean! Gabriel- check on him! Please-ugh-" Castiel aims a heavy punch at the demon's jaw, and in the split second it reacts, reaches for his Angel blade.

"I got him Cassy, don't worry." Gabriel says firmly and crosses to Dean's inanimate form. Carefully, he pries Sam's hysterically shaking hands from where they're now bunched in Dean's t-shirt and looks him deeply in the eye, reassuring him wordlessly that he will take care of his brother.

In a blink, Gabriel is gone and so is Dean, the Archangel clearly having transported him to a place of safety. Sam blinks away hot tears and stands up shakily to go and help Cas.

Castiel has managed to get to his feet and is circling the grinning demon, his blade pointed threateningly towards it. It's eyes are wide, unblinking, watching Castiel's every movement. Sam knows instinctively that this is a fight he could not win; it is between two supernatural creatures, but he has to  _try._ He has to do  _something._

Dean could be dead for all he knows, the demon said it was draining his life as they all stood around, waiting for someone to make the first move. Sam grits his teeth. He rocks back on the balls of his feet. Castiel catches his eye a fraction of a second too late, and Sam is lunging towards the creature, its supernatural senses catching the movement before Sam is even halfway towards it. The demon catches hold of Sam's wrist and twists his arm, hard and fast, sending Sam crashing to the floor, his bones snapping and the sound filling the air.

Castiel's rage shimmers around him at the noise and he acts in a timeless moment, his blade piercing through the demon's chest, impaling him as he wails and falls limp.

"Sam." Castiel says, wasting no time, rushing to the younger Winchester's aid.

* * *

"I take it all back Gabriel. So far this plan of yours has gone spectacularly well." Castiel says, and it takes Gabriel a full ten seconds of staring at his younger brother before he realises he is being sarcastic.

"Shut it Cassy, it could have been worse." Gabriel grumbles in response. Castiel just looks at him.

The two Winchester's are now both in deep slumbers on their chosen Motel beds after a thorough beating, strangulation, and then an intense Angelic healing session wherein the Angels had spent several hours mending broken bones, healing bleeding wounds, preventing concussions and mending some severely damaged throat tendons. Castiel had put them both to sleep shortly afterwards as a coping mechanism for the pain they would otherwise be feeling.

"Worse?!" Castiel hisses, rounding on Gabriel and leaning down into his face. He found he couldn't care less right now about the Angelic ranking system, and Gabriel's Archangelic status be damned, he would yell at his older brother for putting these two boys in unnecessary harm. "Worse than them nearly dying from strangulation and then being forced to face what I suspect was an extremely powerful demon?!"

Gabriel has the decency to look shamefaced for a second before a grin lights up his face. "You've gotta admit, my one's a hell of a catch. Half-starved of oxygen and recovering from death – what does he do? Rugby tackles a super-demon to try and help out my idiot little brother!" Gabriel chuckles, looking down fondly at Sam's unconscious form.

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?!" Castiel cries, and he sounds desperate, upset. Gabriel frowns at him, watching as he moves over to the seat next to Dean's bed he'd been sat in diligently ever since they returned. The Angel's fingers reach out tentatively, skipping lightly over Dean's knuckles where his hand lies unmoving by his face.

"Aw, Cassy." Gabriel says, suddenly feeling bad. He materialises next to Cas, resting a hand on the Angel's shoulder and trying not to feel too put out when he stiffens beneath him. "Look bro, I'm sorry. How did I know the bitch dying would summon a demon? And I suppose…" Gabriel sighs, starting to meander away from Cas and wander over to his own spot next to Sam's bed. Not that he was doing the whole wife-at-the-hospital-bedside thing, no way. He'd just been sitting there while he was healing Sammy's scrapes. That's all. "…maybe, I got a bit carried away. I probably should have listened to you, and we should have popped out when you said."

Castiel glances up at him, meeting his eyes across the two beds, their charges sleeping peacefully in between them. "Thankyou for saving Dean." Castiel says simply.

"Ditto you with Sammy." Gabe replies, smiling a little.

* * *

It's nearly three in the afternoon when Sam finally fights his way out of unconsciousness. He blinks blearily, strands of his hair having fallen across his face, obscuring his vision. Grunting, he reaches up and pushes his hair back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The first thing he sees when he focuses properly is Gabriel, reclined far too casually on a chair beside his bed, smirking.

"Morning sleeping beauty." Gabriel greets, and Sam's head throbs a little.

"Gabriel?" Sam slurs thickly, starting to sit up. "What's going… where's Dean?"

Gabriel rolls his eyes and gestures towards the other bed where Dean is still sound asleep, under the watchful eye of Castiel next to him. Sam turns so fast it makes his head swim and relief floods his body to see Dean safe and breathing, although he'd prefer it if his brother were conscious.

"He will wake soon." Castiel says softly, and his gravelly voice is soothing to Sam's ears.

Sam allows the Angel's reassurance to calm him, and he flops back against the headboard, still exhausted for some reason. "Man, I am glad that is over." Sam murmurs, closing his eyes.

Gabriel chuckles. "Yeah, maybe next time come up with a better plan than both of you just charging through the front door?"

Castiel shoots Gabriel a fiery look, but Sam doesn't notice, he's too enraged himself.

"What?!" Sam cries, his voice louder now. "Maybe next time you could give us the little tip off that she's not some amateur teenager with a spell book like we thought!"

Gabriel leans towards Sam, bracing his hands on the edge of the bed. "Gee, I guess I thought that with all your lifelong experience, one witch wouldn't manage to get one over on you two so easily!" Gabriel fires back, and Sam narrows his eyes.

"We're good at what we do when we do it  _our_ way, Gabriel!" Sam yells back. "You insisted we didn't need to do any research because you'd told us the whole story, so don't go blaming this whole catastrophe on us-"

"Oh wow, you know what's nice?" Gabriel asks, interrupting Sam and making him even more angry. "Seeing how appreciative you are that we not only saved your asses, but used our hard-earned grace to  _heal_ them too!"

Castiel clears his throat loudly, and Gabriel looks up into his younger brother's warning stare. Gabriel rolls his eyes again, but falls silent. Sam looks like he is about to respond to Gabriel's argument but at the sound of Castiel's loud throat-clearing, Dean's eyes began to flutter.

"Dean?" Sam asks tentatively, leaning towards his brother without moving off of his own bed. Dean rolls onto his back, his eyes peeling open.

"F…" Dean tries to say, and Sam shoots Castiel a worried look. Castiel watches Dean calmly, assessing. "F…F-friggin  _witches,_ man."

Sam barks out a near hysterical laugh, feeling his anxiety melt away into nothingness. In his euphoric, relief-filled state, he spins around and grabs hold of a shocked Gabriel's shoulder, grinning.

"I-I'm sorry Gabe… I was just nervous I dunno." Sam says earnestly, and Gabriel can't respond; Sam's face is too close to his, his hazel-fringed eyes looking too deeply into his own. "Thankyou for saving my brother."

Sam smiles at him, sincerity and gratitude pouring out of his every orifice, and Gabriel can only smile weakly back in response. Sam turns from him and slides off the bed to sit next to Dean, jabbing him on all his bruises so that he groans and tells Sam he hates him, when of course he means the opposite.

"Cas?" Dean says, once Sam has ceased his torture and sits back on his own bed.

"Yes, Dean?"

"You sit here this whole time while I was comatose?" Dean asks, his eyes closing as he rests on his back, a smile dancing precariously on his lips.

Castiel shoots a glance at Gabriel, unsure of how to respond. Gabriel just looks amusedly back at him, enjoying Castiel's discomfort.

"…Yes." Castiel says eventually, his brow creasing.

Dean grins. "You're such a good little guardian Angel." Castiel fidgets, wondering how to tell Dean that he is not a guardian Angel, and is in fact a powerful soldier of Heaven, of much higher rank than the guardians. "Thanks, Cas. I owe you again for the patch up job. And for saving Sammy." Dean reaches out blindly towards Cas and gives him an awkward pat on the knee.

His eyes closed, Dean doesn't see Castiel's face light up like he won the lottery just from that simple word of thanks and small touch, but Gabriel does, and winks.

 


	2. The Second Way To Court A Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is sick of Sam ignoring him, and he suspects Castiel is having similar problems with Dean. Together, they're sure they can concoct a plan brilliant enough that both of them will get their man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order to keep Gabriel kicking, I've had to rewrite a lot of season 5, ignoring Hammer of the Gods completely, and just... Swan Song is basically totally different :L you'll see.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

 

Gabriel let out a long, breathy sigh, slumping back down against the hard wooden bench. Castiel had just cruelly dismissed yet another of what - to him - seemed like a perfectly good idea for the second phase in their brilliant scheme.

" _Fine._ " Gabriel spat at Castiel, who was sat cross-legged on the grassy floor, facing the bench, his trenchcoat pooling around him like beige cream. "But I really don't see why you're so against fire."

Castiel remained silent, but stood firm in the knowledge of being completely justified in his refusal to commit arson in order to romance the Winchester boys. "We can do better, Gabriel. We just need to think more broadly. Something that will work on both of them, and that will back up our actions in the first stage of the plan."

Gabriel pouted, shifting uncomfortably as the metal framework dug into his spine. He snapped his fingers suddenly, irritated that it hadn't already occurred to him that he could change this world around him for his own comfort whenever he chose. In a flash, two enormous palm trees twisted and coiled their way up from the soil beneath the Angels' feet, their green fronds rustling to and fro high above them. Gabriel grinned, standing up immediately, the bench vanishing as he did so. With another snap of his fingers, a billowing white hammock stretched itself between the two trees. Gabriel wasted no time, taking a running jump towards it after a customary wink in Cas's direction.

Reclined on the gently wafting hammock, it's soft fabric stroking against his skin like a loving blanket, Gabriel suddenly felt much more inspired. "Mmmm, come up here Cassy!" Gabriel called to his brother, who was still sat in the same position on the ground, now staring up at the towering trees. "We can concoct in comfort!"

"Won't all these sudden manifestations attract attention?" Castiel asked, unsure, but started to rise to his feet nonetheless. Gabriel didn't respond other than to beckon to Cas with one long finger, smiling cheekily. Castiel sighed, giving up, and went to join his brother, the two of them laying top-to-tail together as the hammock rocked them. "I may have another idea." Castiel said almost nervously once they were both settled.

Gabriel's eyebrows rose. "You been holdin' out on me? Shoot!"

Castiel stared upwards into the emerald leaves high above him. " **The second way to court a Winchester: Keep a promise to them**."

"Cas… I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but that's a sucky idea." Gabriel replied, all the hope he'd felt moments ago draining out of him. "Promise keeping? Are we preteen girls with 'BFF' bracelets?"

Castiel sat up, annoyed, causing the hammock to swing dramatically. Gabriel gripped the sides in a moment of panic.

"Keeping a promise to the Winchesters is no trivial matter, Gabriel." Castiel said angrily, staring down at his brother. "It is rare for them to find acquaintances truly worthy of their loyalty and trust. If we prove to them that we are on their side by keeping a promise of importance, they will certainly remember it for all of time."

Gabriel stared at his brother wide-eyed, taking in Castiel's mussed, unruly black hair, his wild, passion-filled eyes. He obviously had faith in what he was saying. Gabriel figured he owed the guy his trust on this one thing, especially as he'd decided that Cas was now his love guru in his on-going courtship of Sam Winchester.

"Alright. Promise-keeping it is." Gabriel conceded, and Castiel lay back down with a satisfied smirk. "God, I already feel like a douche."

* * *

Sam is lost in thought again. It's hardly his fault; there's literally nothing to do at Bobby's except trawl the web for the thousandth time, in search of a case neither he or Dean can work because they're both still 'in remission'. He lies back, his broad shoulders sinking into the couch cushions. For the thousandth time he finds himself analysing the witch hunt, and more specifically, the Angels' involvement in it. Even more specifically  _Gabriel's_ involvement in it – because okay, Sam has just about made peace with the idea of Cas popping up periodically to vaporise a demon in the nick of time, or give some wise, centuries-old advice about some ancient creature Sam's researching, but what was Gabriel's playing at? What did he get out of saving them?

Hell, last time Sam had seen the guy, he'd been downright  _dickish,_ imprisoning them in his own cruel, twisted fantasy-land for his own amusement. Now he suddenly wants to help? Sam scrunches his nose in confusion.

Sam had briefly tried to talk it out with Dean, but his older brother had seemed remarkably nonplussed about Gabriel's sudden change of mentality. Dean seemed to think that Gabriel was just a scared, lost little runaway, on nobody's side, just doing whatever he wanted until someone dared to stand up to him. Which of course Dean did, wringing him out good and proper while he stood trapped in a holy fire.

_"This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers, this is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!"_

Sam considers Deans words thoughtfully, remembering Dean's anger, his unblinking gaze as he stared Gabriel right in the eyes. Dean knew what he was talking about, because hell, he was the world's expert on sons unable to deal with family feuds. Sam remembers how convincing he'd seemed back in that warehouse. He supposes it wouldn't be too surprising if Gabriel decided to jump ship after seeing that. Lining up behind Dean after that little speech would probably seem like a hell of a good idea to an Archangel undecided on which side to choose in the first place.

Sam lets out another sigh, his brain complaining at him for overthinking the situation. Regardless of Gabriel's motives, Sam was undyingly grateful to him for rescuing Dean from – what he suspects – was the brink of death, no thanks to a demon-worshipping witch. Hell, maybe Dean did actually die, Sam has no idea, Gabriel could surely bring him back to life if that were the case, and Sam was certain from the one fierce look in his eyes a split second before he'd disappeared with his brother, that he would have done just that.

"Yo! Sammeh!" A voice yells, startling Sam out of his reverie. He opens his eyes to see Gabriel himself standing before him, hands on his hips, an extremely weary looking Castiel by his side. All thoughts of Gabriel's brave, lifesaving qualities immediately fly out of the window.

"Oh, good. You're back." Sam says, struggling to sit up a little despite his aching muscles. Bobby's couch was not really designed for optimum recovery.

"Yes. We thought we should check on your injuries." Castiel says, cutting Gabriel off before he could respond with something undoubtedly inappropriate. "Where is Dean?"

Sam raises an eyebrow at the badly disguised urgency in Castiel's tone. Gabriel smirks at Sam as if exchanging a wordless acknowledgement of Cas's strangeness. "Outside. Me and Bobby told him he should be laid up somewhere but he's having none of it. Says the road to recovery is in the hood of his car …or something."

Castiel nods once towards Sam and promptly vanishes, presumably to go and search for Dean. Sam immediately misses his calm, sensible presence. Especially as Gabriel is now eyeing him up like a vulture would his prey.

_Seriously, what does this guy want? More importantly, do I want to find out?_

* * *

"Dean."

Dean promptly smacks his head on the propped open bonnet of the Impala. He ducks out, annoyed, rubbing the back of his skull – like he needed another bruise after that damn witch/demon fiasco.

"Cas." He manages to spit out in response, and then chastises himself for being so cold with the guy who'd saved his ass just yesterday. Dean looks over at where the Angel is standing, looking unbearably forlorn in the clearing of Bobby's scrapyard where Dean has rolled out his baby to do some well-needed tinkering. "I mean- good to see you Cas. You're looking…" Dean lets his eyes travel briefly down the same tan trenchcoat, hiding a nondescript suit and tie, his unruly black hair, his same soulful eyes. "…nice. I mean, fine. Good. Uh... you okay?"

 _Great_ , Dean thinks, grabbing the oily rag out of his back pocket to try and wipe the grease off his fingers,  _make it sound like you're flirting with him instead. Much better._

"I'm fine, Dean. Thankyou for asking. Again." Castiel says awkwardly, and Dean busies himself with putting his tools back in his box so he can avoid that lingering gaze. "I came with Gabriel. We're here to check on you."

"Oh? And where's he?" Dean asks, though he doesn't particularly miss the guy.

"He's with your brother." Castiel says, and his strange tone makes Dean look up at last.

"Well, I'm good, Cas." Dean says, and he slams the bonnet closed, starting to make his way back inside. Heat flushes through him when he remembers why exactly he's 'good', and adds the witch/demon fiasco (which is what he's decided to call it) to the long list of preposterously reckless and brilliant things Cas has done for him for no apparent reason, other than they're sorta kinda friends. As he brushes past Cas, he slaps a hand down on the Angel's shoulder. "Thanks to you, right man?"

He pretends not to notice Castiel's blush. The two walk inside together, and Dean finds it weirdly not-weird that Castiel asks about what he was doing with the car, and that they get into a discussion about basic mechanics, and that Dean teases Cas mercilessly for not knowing the first thing about it.

They enter Bobby's living room, and Dean's grin falls off his face. Castiel stiffens a little beside him, and Dean just stares, open-mouthed. Gabriel is sat on the couch with Sam – well, more like  _draped over_ Sam, who is sitting innocently in the same position Dean left him, looking a little confused, very amused and a lot weirded out.

"…so it's not that I have a  _fixation_ with your genitals exactly, it's more of a general interest- Oh, hey guys!" Gabriel's original sentence trailed off mid flow, and despite it clearly not having been intended for Dean or Cas's ears, the Archangel seems remarkably nonplussed by their eavesdropping. Gabriel has his arm slung around Sam's shoulders, his face disconcertingly near to the other man's, his fingers idly flicking tendrils of Sam's hair. "Back so soon?" Gabriel winks at Dean, who is trying to think of a reasonable explanation as to why Gabriel's legs are currently intertwined with Sam's.

"Um… Sam?" Dean asks, feeling so far out of his comfort zone he's considering asking for a lifeboat. "W-what's going on?"

Sam shrugs, shifting a little in an attempt to lean away from Gabriel's unnerving proximity, but it's clear the Archangel has no intention of letting him. "Gabe said…" Sam sighs, giving Dean a look that clearly says 'I have no idea what's happening but let's just go along with It for now', "…he and Cas came to check on us."

Dean shoots a look at Castiel, as if concerned he might start trying to curl up beside him and play with  _his_  hair. "Yeah, I got that much." Dean says, his eyes flicking back to Sam and Gabriel after a long moment. "So why's ' _Gabe'_  draped around you like you're friggin Hugh Hefner?"

"Hey!" Gabriel says, sitting up at long last, and Dean shudders in sympathy for Sam, though if he's honest, his brother doesn't even look that fussed. Sam just smiles at Gabriel as he stalks over to Dean, clearly finding the entire situation hilarious, which Dean supposes he would too if it weren't so friggin  _weird._ "Did you just liken me to a playboy bunny?!" Gabriel demands.

Dean's mouth falls open, ready to tell him to sit the fuck down and explain what the hell is happening here, when two furry mounds start to push up from the top of Gabriel's head, distracting him. Dean watches, mouth agape, as two plush, silvery bunny ears burst forth from between the slicked coiffure of Gabriel's hair, drooping down by his temples as he stares at Dean, his expression never faltering.

"Oh for Heaven's sake." Castiel mutters, and Dean is almost certain he's dreaming by this point. If the bunny ears weren't proof enough – Castiel  _blaspheming?!_

Sam's chuckle is what breaks Dean, and he looks up, shocked, to see Sam bent over his knees on the sofa, his laughter shaking his whole body.

"What?! Ears – playboy bunny, I get it. Friggin hilarious." Dean says loudly, brimming with sarcasm. Sam shakes his head through his giggles and for the first time, Dean sees that Gabriel is grinning triumphantly.

"No, man. The ears are cliché, I know." Sam replies to Dean, gulping down his laughter at last. "But the tail? Come on, that's classic. Cute, Gabe."

Dean stares in horror as Gabriel turns back to Sam to wink cheekily, sending him into giggles once more, and Dean gets a full view of the perky, white rabbit tail that had obviously been the last straw in Sam's sanity.

"Okay, that's enough." Dean practically yelled, succeeding in getting everyone's attention, although Cas had pretty much been staring at him the whole time anyway. "Someone, not Sam, is going to tell me why I've got two Angels on my hands. And none of this 'to check on you' crap; we're fine, we're hunters, we're used to getting into scrapes."

Gabriel sighs, and in a snap of his fingers, the ears and tail vanish. Sam pouts a little.

"We're here to make you a promise." Castiel says evenly and Gabriel immediately facepalms.

"Nice, Cassy. Have you ever considered writing for Cosmo?" Gabriel asks, remembering with growing fondness the days when he would screw people over for saying lame crap like that. "Just imagine Cas said that in a much less girly way, but yeah. Promise time."

Dean walks away from Gabriel, getting right up into Cas's face. "Promises?" He says quietly, staring deeply into Castiel's endlessly blue eyes, making sure he doesn't look away. "Deals, you mean?"

Castiel visibly balks at Dean's assumption. "No. This is not like a deal. We are not expecting anything from you in return."

Dean stares for a few seconds longer, his eyes flicking between Cas's, checking for any reason he shouldn't trust them. "Fine. What promise?" Dean asks, backing away a little from Cas and suddenly finding it much easier to breathe.

Gabriel goes over to Sam and falls back onto his lap, much to the protest of the younger Winchester of course, but apparently Archangels are heavy, because Sam doesn't seem to be able to shift him off. Dean watches with a horrific fascination as Gabriel gets comfy before speaking.

"We, Castiel and Gabriel, or as we're better known, 'Heaven's coolest rebels'…" Sam splutters, batting Gabriel's hands away from his hair for the third time. Dean looks over at Castiel, and the poor guy looks like he's more than sick of Gabriel's idiocy. Dean gives him a sympathetic wince. "…do hereby solemnly swear that we will fight by the side of the Winchester brothers until the apocalypse ends, the universe implodes, we all die when alien octopi invade –whatever. We'll stick by ya."

Sam stills underneath Gabriel, one hand still wrapped around the Archangel's wrist from where he was attempting to restrain his wandering fingers. Dean exchanges a look with Sam that says more than a thousand words ever could.

Dean wants to shout 'bullshit', but one look over in Cas's direction and he's immediately speechless.

"I also… solemnly swear that." Castiel says, and though Dean's pretty sure he knew Cas felt like that anyway, it's different to hear it out loud.

"Well." Dean says after a couple of moments of awkward silence. He clears his throat, giving Sam another look. "We'll see won't we?"

* * *

 

Sam leans further into the fridge, as if the sheer overpowering force of his hunger will make edible food magically appear if he just searches deep enough. He reaches a hand in, shifting the mould-riddled block of cheese to the side to reveal a bowl of something Sam sincerely hopes was once chilli. He sighs, admitting defeat, and pulls out, closing the fridge door, only to nearly jump out of his skin at the sight of Gabriel behind it. He's leaning casually against Bobby's counter, eyeing Sam's ass with a look of approval. Sam waits for his heart to stop thumping and rolls his eyes.

"Where is Bobby anyway?" Gabriel asks as if they've been having a conversation, watching Sam meander over to the cupboards on the other side of the kitchen; he's not giving up on his stomach that easily.

"I would imagine he's probably out celebrating the re-animation of his legs." Sam sighs in response, staring at the near-empty cupboards with disappointment. Gabriel nods thoughtfully.

"So you boys are heading out soon, huh? Gonna go find Lucy and surrender that cute little ass to his will?" Gabriel asks, hoisting himself up onto the worktop, his legs kicking against Bobby's cupboards as he sits.

Sam spins round to face him, annoyed. Over the past few weeks, Gabriel and Castiel had been hanging around, doing a little bit here and there to help out, but generally just going along with whatever Sam and Dean had said. Together they'd finally scraped together all of the damn horseman's rings, and  _now_ Gabriel suddenly decides to voice his opinion on the plan?

"Why?! You got a problem with that?!" Sam cries, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

Gabriel raises his eyebrow and smirks.  _Oh right,_ Sam thinks too late,  _can't talk about anything serious with this guy._

"Damn, that was smoking Sammy. No wonder the bad girls like you so much." Gabriel says, and Sam actually blushes. "Look, you wanna know if I have a problem with you letting my psycho big brother take you like a little bitch?" Gabriel swallows, and Sam sees sudden fire in his eyes. "Yeah. I got a problem with that."

If Sam didn't know better he'd say Gabriel sounded almost… possessive. "Well, it doesn't matter. That's the plan, we're not changing it now. I'm gonna overcome him, I can do it, okay?"

Gabriel slides off the counter and stalks across the kitchen towards Sam, backing him against the wall, grim determination on his face. Sam stares down at him wide-eyed, suddenly remembering that this is _Gabriel,_ an Archangel every bit as powerful as Lucifer. He really needs to learn to watch his snarky tone.

Gabriel's eyes burn into him, and he feels hands push against his chest, anchoring him to the spot. "New plan."

* * *

A burst of brilliant white light exploding out of Bobby's ramshackle house is what causes Dean to break his gaze away from Cas and go sprinting towards the door. He'd been talking to Cas about Sam, about how he wasn't dealing with the idea of his baby brother jumping into a cage with the devil very well. He'd been telling Cas about his  _feelings_ for Christ's sake, and dammit, he knew there was a reason he should never do that.

"Sam!" Dean yells as he flings the door wide, storming into the kitchen just in time to see Gabriel crumpling to the floor at Sam's feet. Dean makes it over to him in three long strides, one hand gripping his shoulder tightly, reassuring himself that Sam is still there. "You okay? What happened?"

"Heya Dean-o!" Sam says, and Dean blinks, uncomprehending. He glances down at Gabriel's unconscious form, the lifeless brown eyes. Oh god…

"Mother of mercy." Castiel says, a little breathless, as he takes in the scene before him. "Gabriel… what have you done?"

Dean's brain kicks in and he slowly moves his hand away from his brother's arm, horror filling his face. He looks Sam straight in the eyes and says, "Gabriel?"

"Ding ding ding! Got it in one, chuckles. Though you did have a little hint from your skinny love over there." Gabriel says, and his teasing tone sounds horribly, horribly wrong in Sam's voice.

"Where's Sam?!" Dean asks, near hysterical. Castiel is by his side in an instant, his gaze falling upon Gabriel with a look of utter betrayal.

"Oh, he's in here. He's all good." Gabriel says, his hand batting the question out of the air. Dean can barely comprehend this, Gabriel is filling Sam up, wearing him like a glove. Rage begins to bubble beneath Dean's skin. "He says hey, all that jazz. I just couldn't let him go through with it, Dean."

Dean snarls at him and reaches out suddenly, gripping him by the collar and slamming him against the wall. "You let him go, you son of a bitch!"

"Woah, woah, easy Dean!" Gabriel chuckles, pushing Dean off easily. "Look, it's much better this way. Now Lucifer doesn't get his big strong Sammy vessel for the big fight, and neither does Michael get his big strong Deany vessel. Don't you see? Now they'll have to fight each other in their puny, weak  _backup_ vessels." Dean looks at Cas, seemingly considering Gabriel's words. He can barely think straight with the anger he feels clouding his mind. "Meanwhile we can sneak round the back, lock together our super-rings like the Power Rangers we are - I call the awesome red one - and push them in!"

Castiel looks at Dean, worry and mistrust flavouring his gaze. Dean is at a loss, their plan is officially a no-go, unless they want to try ripping the Archangel currently residing in Sam out without damaging him.

"Wait a second, so… did Sam agree to this?" Dean asks, suddenly incredulous. "I mean, he's gotta say yes before you can climb in right?"

Gabriel smiles, a smile Dean has seen a thousand times – from the passenger seat of his Impala, from behind his laptop screen in a crummy motel, from the sleeping bag next to his when they were kids and he had to reassure his little brother that their Dad would be back real soon. It's Sam's smile. "Sure did, Dean." Sam says, and Dean knows that wasn't Gabriel talking.

"Well if it's good enough for Sam…" Dean says, eyeing Cas again warily. "…I'm gonna regret saying this… but it's good enough for me. Now let's hit the road already. We can pick up Bobby on the way."

Sam/Gabriel whoops in delight, making Dean shiver with unease, and he watches his brother scoop up the lifeless vessel on the floor of the kitchen with the unnatural strength of an Archangel, carrying him out towards the stairs.

Dean shakes his head, wondering when his life got so freaky, and turns to look for his keys and jacket. Castiel catches his arm, spinning him back round so that they're face-to-face.

"I'm so sorry, Dean." Castiel begins, and his expression is tortured. "If I'd known Gabriel would take control of Sam-"

"Hey." Dean says softly, cutting the Angel off before he does something embarrassing like burst into tears. "It's cool, man. I know I freaked out at the beginning there, but Gabriel's got a plan. And it may not be brilliant but it's as decent as our one was. It's probably a good thing – now Lucifer can't get hold of Sam without going through Gabe first, right?" Castiel nods, still looking unsure. "So, now there's no chance of Sammy being locked in the cage. The only thing that can go wrong is if we don't manage to get Lucy and Mike to jump in and-"

"The world ends?" Castiel asks, and Dean can't help but chuckle at the deadpan voice Castiel uses. Castiel clearly doesn't see the humour, which for some reason just makes it even funnier.

* * *

If Dean's honest with himself, he didn't think Gabriel would follow through on that damn promise. Yet here he is, wearing his little brother proudly, and standing right beside him as Dean recklessly stands up to Michael - looking an awful lot like Adam - and the devil himself once again. Bobby and Cas are there too, unseen, in the background, clutching those rings, waiting for the right moment.

"Gabriel?" Lucifer asks, his vessel looking even worse than when Dean last saw it. Huge chunks of skin had started to peel from his face; his eyes are a deep crimson in colour, hinting at the chaos swarming inside. Gabriel smiles and gives a little wave.

"Hey, bro."

"This is  _heartbreaking_ , Gabriel." Lucifer says, shooting a quick cautionary glance towards Michael before stepping towards Sam/Gabriel menacingly. "For you to toy with destiny like this. You know it is written that Sam Winchester is  _my_ vessel."

"Mmm." Gabriel says, still smiling despite Lucifer's proximity. Dean can't help sidestepping a little. "Not really interested in all that ancient history crap, Luce. In fact, I came here to tell you that, while I love you guys loads and all – you hear that Michael?!" Gabriel calls, and Michael snarls at him. "-I am just sick to  _death_ of all your bickering. Seriously guys – this has gone on way too long. I'm talking  _millions of years_  too long."

Lucifer smiles, his teeth baring cruelly as he runs his gaze over Sam's body. "Such a shame. He would have been so  _comfy_." Lucifer swats at Gabriel's face, sending him flying backwards to land sprawled on the hood of the Impala. He raises his hand, ready to smite, and Gabriel's eyes shine with fear. Dean has to look away; he can't see that expression on Sam.

Luckily, at that moment, Castiel appears, a terrified-looking Bobby in tow, seemingly from nowhere, and Dean thanks God of all people. Lucifer stops in his tracks, momentarily stunned at the sight of another Angel. Michael roars in protest.

"Enough!" He cries and Castiel is suddenly flung into the air, landing with a heavy sounding thud on the hard ground a few steps away. Dean has to restrain himself from immediately going to his aid. Michael storms over to where Lucifer is still frozen, ready to kill Gabriel, and Sam with him. "What are you waiting for?! The sooner he dies, the sooner we can fight and end this feud once and for all, Lucifer!"

Lucifer looks up into Michael's eyes, Adam's eyes, and Dean thinks you'd have to be blind not to see the brotherly love that still jumped, electric, between them. Love that was never diminished; only disguised by anger. Dean glances down at Gabriel, still sprawled on the hood of the Impala, Lucifer's hand pinning him there. He winks, and Dean allows himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, everything will be fine.

Dean hears, rather than sees Castiel, as the Angel slots together the rings in his hand from where he is still sprawled on the floor. Beside him, he hears Bobby start to shakily utter a few words in Latin, committed to memory before they left - typical ever-prepared Bobby. The conjoined rings begin to tremble, shaking the very earth around them all, and finally Michael and Lucifer break their staring match. Castiel throws the rings to the ground and stands, limping away. Before Dean knows it, the ground is opening up, a mouth to the worst part of Hell imaginable right there in front of them all, waiting to be fed.

Michael roars again, and with a swift blow knocks Lucifer to the ground. In the seconds that follow, Michael has pulled out his Archangel blade, and is stalking towards his brother, venom in his eyes.

It is this moment that Gabriel chooses to spring forwards, his own blade in hand, now free to move as Lucifer has been knocked aside. He rushes at Michael, catching him by surprise, and the blade pierces his chest cavity with one sharp thrust. As the light that is Michael's grace bursts out of his brother, huge and brilliant, accompanied by an inhuman screech, Gabriel shields Sam's eyes. Dean, in his edge-of-the-seat anxiety at Sam's proximity to two Angel blades, forgets the whole deal with not looking directly at Angels when they aren't in their vessels.

Luckily, Castiel is not so distracted, and his hands clamp firmly over Dean's eyes, blocking the sight of his older brother leaking out of his human body from Dean's view.

Lucifer cackles suddenly, reminding everyone present that this is far from over. The mouth to the cage still lies waiting in the centre of the graveyard, inches from all of them. Dean reaches up and covers Cas's hands with his own, prising them off gently. Cas hadn't even registered they were still there. Dean hears Bobby take a sharp inhale from behind him and he instantly knows the worst could be yet to come.

"Wow!" Lucifer cries, standing up. "Are you kidding? Gabriel! You sly dog!" Gabriel stares, transfixed, as Lucifer walks towards him, arms outstretched. "You know, I wouldn't have pegged you for joining the dark side. But here you are! Proving me wrong, by killing my arch nemesis! Gold star! Really."

He reaches Gabriel, and Dean tries not to throw up as he sees Lucifer wrapping his brother up in a warm embrace. "Yep!" Gabriel is saying, before Dean can really process it at all. "Got your back bro!"

Gabriel pats Lucifer awkwardly, and smiles as they break apart. Dean would know Sam's fake grin anywhere, but it seems to work well enough on the Devil. Lucifer turns then, towards the hole, to stare down into its murky depths, frowning. "I don't see why you had to steal my vessel though…" He murmurs, his voice barely audible over the howl of the wind. "I suppose you must have had your reasons."

Dean is suddenly aware that he has to think fast. They have a rare opportunity on their hands here; Lucifer trusts Gabriel. He believes that Gabriel is on his side. "I have to do something." Dean murmurs, meaning it to be for his ears only.

"Dean, no!" Castiel hisses, and Dean had all but forgotten the Angel was by his side. Castiel grips his arm, a silent plea for his to stay out of it, but Dean tugs out of his grasp, knowing that if he doesn't act soon, Lucifer will figure it out, and Sam will end up in the cage after all.

Dean starts to walk over to where Lucifer and Gabriel stand together, by the lip of the mouth to the cage. Lucifer is toeing his dead brother's body absently, pushing Adam's corpse dangerously close to the hole. "Hey!" Dean shouts, even just to get him to stop playing with dead things. He is boldened by Lucifer's instant attention, the devil's head cocked as though he'd forgotten Dean's existence entirely. Suddenly Dean's gun is cocked, pointed squarely at Lucifer's chest, though he barely remembers doing it."Get away from my brother!"

Lucifer appears amused, and Dean notices Gabriel giving him a wide-eyed look. It's a warning, telling him to stop. "Which one?" The devil is asking, and it makes Dean grit his teeth. "I guess you probably mean Sammy, huh? I mean you barely give a rat's ass about the other one." He muses, nudging Adam again with his foot. "Sammy's long gone, Deanster. You've just got us now. The dynamic duo." Lucifer turns to shoot a grin at Gabriel, who responds with his own, obviously nervous.

 _Too obviously,_  Dean thinks.

Dean is suddenly really damn tired of all the talking. He aims, squints and fires, hitting Lucifer directly in the chest, right where his heart would be. Dean thinks sadly that if this were any other creature, any at all, that perfect shot from Dean and a bullet fired from the Colt would have finished him off no trouble. But no, he has to get the goddamn  _Devil._ C'est la vie. Lucifer looks a little shocked at Dean's impertinence, then a lot angry.

Gabriel gulps.

"You really shouldn't have done that, boy." Lucifer growls, and it sounds animalistic, inhuman.

Dean's pretty sure he's about to be exploded and/or burst into flames when Gabriel strikes. He lunges forward, blade in hand, its tip travelling straight through the flesh of Lucifer's back. "Sorry, bro. I don't work for no one."

Everyone holds their breath.

"Ouch." Lucifer says, sighing. He looks down disinterestedly at the large silver blade protruding out of his middle. "Stabbed in the back. That's so cliché, Gabriel really. I expected better of you." He sighs, and Gabriel/Sam's face remains steady, unmoving. "I can't be killed with an Angel blade as I – wait for it – am no longer an Angel! Ta da! You all kicked me out of your special club remember?"

Lucifer grins now, the blade still impaled through him, blood that's not his own dripping onto the grass at his feet.

"Maybe not," Gabriel says, pressed up against the devil's back, his voice close to Lucifer's ear, "but we did make you your own special clubhouse. And it wants its scout leader back." With that, Gabriel yanks out the blade harshly, the force of it causing Lucifer to stumble a little. Gabriel wastes no time, using the opportunity of Lucifer's unsteady feet to give him a precisely-aimed shove.

Dean can barely believe it's happening, but Lucifer flails his arms, searching for something to grab hold of, to anchor him to the Earthly plane, and finding nothing, topples forwards into the abyss.

The hole begins to shrink, swallowing up its latest meal, and Dean fights back tears of relief. They… they did it?

Gabriel lets out a "praise Allah!", which Dean is pretty sure is meant to be purposefully ironic, and means that yes, they succeeded. He wills himself to believe it. He turns from Gabriel, who is high-fiving himself (which Dean presumes is actually Gabriel high-fiving  _Sam,_ but still) to face Cas, who's relief-flooded face is for some reason exactly what he needs to see.

"Aw, c'mere, Cas." Dean says, suddenly filled with joy. Nobody died for once! He damn well deserves joy. He reaches for Cas, who looks rather stunned, and pulls him into an embrace. It's awkward as hell, and Cas doesn't seem to know what the hell is happening, but Dean doesn't care. Cas is here, Sam is here, Bobby is here, Gabriel… is here. He nods at Bobby from over Cas's head, laughing at how he's sprawled out on the ground, clearly relieved it's over. Everyone's all good. Castiel feels warm and strong in his arms."You follow through on your promises, man."

He's pretty sure he can feel Cas smiling against his shoulder.

* * *

"I have returned your brother's soul to Heaven." Castiel says, his face solemn. Dean smiles at him and shakes his head.

"Awesome. That little guy needs a time out and then some." Dean says, leaning back on his chair. They're seated around Bobby's kitchen table: him, Bobby, Sam and Gabriel (in his old vessel once again; he'd kept it in one of the beds upstairs 'like a Snow White kinda deal!', or so he'd said). "He's a stubborn kid, but I guess that just proves he's a Winchester."

Dean chuckles. Castiel shifts awkwardly; there are no more chairs. "Hey, Cas! Sit here bro! I'll take this comfy seat right here." Gabriel says, jumping up from his chair and practically falling onto Sam's lap again, despite all of the protestations. "Would you pipe down, Sammy? I've been  _inside_ you. I think you can handle a little lap action."

Sam immediately flushes beetroot but stops protesting, choosing instead to bury his face in his hands. Dean grins widely. Castiel waits a few moments, then decides to sit in the now empty seat.

"Yeah, so what's it like having an Archangel ride you, Sam?" Dean asks, enjoying this moment more by the second. The joke even seems to get to Castiel, who hides a small smile at Dean's words.

Sam just groans from beneath his fingers, and Gabriel laughs at him. "He loved it." Gabriel croons, stroking Sam's hair, and earning himself a slap on the fingers.

"Alright, alright enough ya idgits." Bobby says sternly, taking out his flask and gulping down enough to make Dean wince. "Just cause we've managed to pull off a goddamn miracle of epic proportions doesn't mean you get to laze around my house all day. I've got about thirty different cases that I put to the back of the pile cause apparently saving the world was more important." He stands, wiping the whiskey from his beard and marches off out of the room, presumably to fetch the details of these cases.

Dean looks at Cas, smiling still, weirdly happy to be alive, which is unusual for him. Castiel stares back in that stripped back way of his, like he's looking into your soul, which, Dean supposes, he probably is. Dean feels his lips start to dry out a little, and he notices Cas's eyes flicking down to watch as his tongue darts out, wetting them. He feels a distantly familiar sensation start to resonate in his left shoulder, right where his scar is, and he breathes in deeply.

"So." Gabriel says, ruining whatever weird moment they'd just been having. Not that Dean thought it was a 'moment', because what the hell? Just because he can't stop staring at Cas doesn't mean- ...Dean actively tells his brain to shut up. "Can we keep our promises or what?"

Dean rolls his eyes, but smiles because Cas already knows that Dean appreciates their promise-keeping abilities. His eyes flick to Cas's again and he's smiling too. It's like a shared secret.

"Gabe… can you…" Sam says, sounding incredibly uncomfortable. Gabriel slings his arm around Sam's shoulders in response, leaning in close to hear him better. "…stop…  _fidgeting?!"_

Dean splutters and thinks about leaving the room, but he would never do that to his poor baby brother. Gabriel just laughs and squirms around some more, making Sam curse and start up his futile attempts at pushing an Archangel off his lap once more.

Dean thinks about intervening, but as much as he can see how the situation is horrific, it's also damn entertaining, so he gets up, grabs a beer, gets another one for Cas after a moment's hesitation (hey, if Cas didn't drink it, there's someone right next to him who would), and sits back to watch the show.


	3. The Third Way To Court A Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is sick of Sam ignoring him, and he suspects Castiel is having similar problems with Dean. Together, they're sure they can concoct a plan brilliant enough that both of them will get their man.

 

"Okay…" Gabriel said, shuffling a little until he was in a more upright position, now able to see Cas as he lay stiffly back on the hammock. "... so far we've had: saving their life..." Gabriel counted out one of his fingers, demonstrating.

"And that went exactly as planned." Castiel said sarcastically, his eyes narrowing in Gabriel's direction.

"Hey! They're grateful aren't they?" Gabriel replied immediately, shrugging off Castiel's glare. "And alive! I think we did a pretty stellar job, myself." Castiel kicked his foot, managing to catch Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel yelped and pouted at him."Meanie. Just cause I ended up having to be the one to escort your Prince Charming to safety. And then…" Gabriel continued, sighing at Castiel's frosty look. "…we had the wonderfully masculine pinky-promise," Gabriel counted off another finger. Castiel nodded, Gabriel's taunt seeming to go over his head.

Gabriel held up a third finger and leaned forwards to waggle it in front of Castiel's nose. "We need a third step." Castiel managed to deduce from this.

"Righto. Hard parts over I'd say, bro. We managed to help those gorgeous idiots pull off something so monumentally unlikely I can't actually fathom that it happened; I think that more than earns us a reward." Gabriel said, and Castiel sat up, looking suddenly concerned.

"What do you mean by 'a reward'?" Castiel asked tentatively, the hammock beginning to sway a tad more alarmingly in a gust of wind that he was sure hadn't been there moments before.

Gabriel's eyes darkened, and a grin stretched across his face. "How familiar are you with the Earthly 'dens of iniquity'?"

Castiel gulped.  _Not again…_

**The Third Way To Court A Winchester: Get Them Drunk**

* * *

Dean hears a shout from somewhere upstairs, and immediately jumps to his feet, knowing instinctively that it's Sammy's voice. He makes it two steps before he hears another familiar voice from behind him.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean stops in his tracks, spinning to face Castiel, who is standing nearby, looking troubled. A familiar feeling of safety, comfort and  _wholeness_ washes over Dean at the sight of him, causing him to momentarily forget about his brother upstairs, possibly being attacked at that very moment by any number of ominous creatures. He opens his mouth to respond to the greeting when he hears the distinct sound of Sam's laughter.

That, somehow, is more unnerving than the shout of terror Dean heard moments before, and he takes a brief second to consider just how fucked up that is. They really need to have a little fun.

"Your brother is fine, I believe Gabriel's intention was to 'scare the bejeezus out of him'." Castiel says and Dean can't help but grin. Whether it's because Castiel sounds so utterly  _done_ with Gabriel's 'wonderful' personality, or at the idea of Sam screaming like a little girl as Gabriel jumped out at him from inside a closet, Dean wasn't sure.

"Nice." Dean replies, for some reason finding it difficult to look Cas straight in the eye. "You uh… you want anything?" Dean asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He wishes Bobby were here; he always knew how to do the entertaining guests thing, and it is his house after all. But Bobby went out with Rufus to celebrate the whole world-not-ending thing - and that was  _yesterday._ He'd apparently had such a good time he that didn't come home all night.

"Like what?" Castiel asks, his head immediately tipping in that ridiculously adorable way of his. Not that Dean found it adorable. No way.

"I dunno," Dean says, wandering over to the desk to pick up his empty bottle of beer, Castiel's eyes trained on him, "could get you a beer?"

"I don't require-" Castiel starts to say.

"I know you don't  _require_  it." Dean interrupts, wandering back over to Cas, rolling his eyes. "But I've seen you down a row of shots quicker than I could no trouble, man. Hell, I don't  _require_ beer but… it's nice sometimes, y'know? Loosens you up. Gets rid of your inhibitions." Dean suddenly realises how close he is standing to Cas.

Castiel stares at him, and Dean knew there was a reason he'd been trying not to look directly at him. Looking into the deep, swirling cerulean of Castiel's eyes was like getting drunk in itself, and Dean considered himself a heavyweight, but this was like nothing he could describe. Like being hypnotised and waking up hours later, naked and disoriented in the future, unsure of what had just passed.

Sam's laughter reverberates through the ceiling, breaking them apart.

Dean sucks in a breath and steps backwards a little, his cheeks tinged pink. Castiel is smiling a little.

"No thankyou, Dean. I'm quite alright at present."

Dean nods, thinking privately that it's probably a good thing because he's a little tipsy already from the two or three beers he'd downed earlier, and with Cas drunk too… he's sure nothing would happen. Not in _that_ way. Sure of it. But still, it's better that they're not risking it.

"I could… take your coat?" Dean jokes, trying to change the subject. He nudges Castiel with his elbow to make it obvious he's not serious, but Castiel tips his head again, seemingly considering.

Several seconds pass, and then Castiel begins to methodically strip himself of the trenchcoat, peeling it off so he looks almost skinless. It's really disconcerting.

"Dude, no, wait!" Dean exclaims, horrified, holding his hands up. "I didn't mean it – you don't go anywhere without that thing!"

"It's not a necessity, Dean." Castiel replies, pulling his left arm out of the sleeve. "I hadn't considered it before, but you're right, it's somewhat strange to be wearing an overcoat indoors while visiting… friends."

Castiel's eyes flick up to him after the word 'friends', as if confirming he chose the right term for their relationship. Dean just blinks. Castiel holds the coat out to him, neatly folded, and Dean reaches out for it carefully, holding it like it's precious.

"I'll just… put this away then." Dean says awkwardly, looking uncertainly at Castiel, who nods, suddenly in charge of the situation.  _What even is the situation?,_ Dean thinks as he leaves the room, coat in hand.

When Dean re-enters, his brain doesn't register the fact that the man in the black, tailored suit with the cinched in waist is Cas. He nearly reaches for a bottle of holy water on the shelf nearby (Bobby is prepared for every kind of attack in every room of the house, even the bathrooms), and then Cas turns, smiling. Dean's stomach does a weird twisty flip thing, and he's not sure what that's about, but reasons it's probably down to something he ate and nothing to do with the way Cas is tugging adorably on his tie right now.

"Um…" Dean says eloquently, and Cas smiles wider, which just makes Dean blush and duck his head.

Just then, Gabriel skips merrily down the stairs, Sam following close behind, the expression of an amused and indulgent babysitter on his face.

"Woah what is  _this?!_ " Gabriel cries as soon as he enters the room, glancing between Dean and Cas and placing a hand over his heart. "I'm gone five minutes and you've already got my little brother out of his clothes?"

Dean's mouth drops open and he shoots an instinctive look at Sam, his eyes full of denial. Sam just grins, ready for some payback about the 'ridden by an Archangel' comments from a few days prior.

"He.. no, it's not…" Dean begins, not really sure how to explain.

"It's a nice suit Cassy, don't get me wrong, and you look tasty, but honestly if you're gonna start stripping off to get his attention, I'd suggest this look…" Gabriel says, walking up to Cas and circling him before sliding his hands under the jacket in a way that immediately makes Dean want to punch him. For some reason. Gabriel pulls the jacket off and throws it over his shoulder, where it lands draped over a dusty lamp in the corner. "Ta da! Much better."

Gabriel circles Cas, an approving look on his face. "Gabriel!" Cas hisses in a voice too low for Dean or Sam to hear. "You're supposed to be helping me, as well! Stop making our plan so obvious!"

"I am helping you! You think there's a chance in hell Dean  _isn't_ responding to your little strip tease? Cool your jets, hot shot, I know what I'm doing." Gabriel replies quietly, before stepping back and hooking a possessive arm around Sam's waist.

"Okay! Me and Sammy have a plan." Gabriel announces in a loud voice, managing to get Dean's attention for all of two seconds before his gaze flicks back to Cas,

 _The thin white shirt clearly provides a whole lot of brand new staring material_ , Sam thinks amusedly, trying to unhook Gabriel's fingers from the belt loop on his jeans.

"Actually, it's your idea." Sam corrects immediately, earning him a glare from Gabriel.

" _Actually,_ if you wanna get technical, it's mine  _and_ Cassy's idea." Gabriel says proudly, grinning in a far-too-obvious way at Cas, who wonders idly if there is actually merit in 'face-palming'. Dean's gaze travels upwards from Cas's chest to his face for the first time at that, awestruck. "Here's the plan: we saved the world, us Heavenly delinquents take you boys out to celebrate!"

Dean looks suddenly extremely nervous and extremely sceptical. Cas came up with a plan to go out drinking? He stares at the Angel in question, appraising his new 'look' for the thousandth time. It's true that the guy suddenly seems pretty unpredictable. Dean reasons it will probably be a wine bar or something equally tragic.

"Alright…" Dean says cautiously, and Cas's head whips round to face him, apparently amazed that he agrees so quickly.

"I think I might volunteer as the designated driver." Sam says, watching Gabriel warily as he circles Sam like a vulture.

"Not a chance. I plan on drinking you under the table, Sammykins." Gabriel snaps immediately, standing in front of Sam and looking up into his eyes. Sam raises his eyebrows, smirking.

"Yeah, probably, seeing as if I tried to take on an Archangel at a drinking contest I'd almost certainly die of alcohol poisoning." Sam replies, much to the amusement of Dean, who realises suddenly that he hadn't fully appreciated the height difference between his brother and Gabriel until now.

"Well, never say never." Gabriel said, his defiant look slipping into his trademark mischievous grin. "I didn't say what we'd be doing once we got under the table after all…"

Castiel has to catch hold of Dean before he falls over from laughing too hard.

* * *

 

It takes some serious negotiating on Gabriel's part to get Dean to go along with the whole 'Angel-transport' thing – he claims to have a 'perfectly justified' phobia of flying anywhere, regardless of how fast it's over – but luckily, Castiel takes Dean aside to have a private word, and somehow gets him to agree.

Whatever, it's good enough for Gabriel. At least  _his_  Winchester doesn't seem to have any ridiculous fears. Except for clowns… what's that about? Gabriel immediately adds dressing up as a clown and chasing Sammy round the house to his to-do list, and gathers everyone together for the outing.

Castiel volunteers to take Dean himself, but Gabriel refuses, saying it will be easier if he takes both boys, as it is less of a strain on his Grace anyway because he is technically more powerful. Castiel just pouts at this, but reluctantly agrees. In reality, (although he won't say this aloud) Gabriel is a little worried Cas will chicken out of the plan and take Dean somewhere other than where they'd agreed upon.

Well, Gabriel says 'agreed upon' but really he means that he insisted, and Cas eventually gave up protesting. Sam looks over at Dean a little worriedly as Gabriel and Cas exchange meaningful looks that they don't understand. Both boys had showered and changed, but the Angels had refused to tell them where they were being taken, so neither knew if they were appropriately dressed. Dean figured he couldn't care less, donning his usual black t-shirt, jeans and jacket – he'd get to drink wherever they went, and there were no worries about getting home safely as they had their own Angelic chauffeur service.

Before Sam can voice his concern about the hold-up, Gabriel snaps his fingers.

Sam and Dean look around them, feeling mildly disoriented, and Dean's jaw instantly drops to the floor. The club is huge, with several levels - each lit dimly with red and purple lighting, illuminating the stages and walkways dotted about the floor. Each stripper pole – yes that's right,  _stripper pole_ – is complete with scantily clad girls sliding seductively around them, and of course utterly surrounded by what seem like endless crowds of people, pressed together and moving against each other like a singular living organism.

"Classy place, huh?" Gabriel yells over the sound of some R n' B track stickily pouring out of the speakers. He slings his arms around the shoulders of the boys, meaning he has to stand on tiptoe.

"Why am I not surprised?" Sam yells back, returning Gabriel's smile but shaking his head in a mildly disapproving way. Gabriel snakes his arm up around to Sam's neck and pulls him down a little, bringing their faces close. Sam's eyes are wide, and he wonders why he is letting himself be tugged around like this.

"Come on hot stuff, let me buy you a drink." Gabriel says, low, into his ear. Sam pulls back a little, trying to regain control of the situation, but finds himself grinning foolishly like a teenage girl, and nods, letting Gabriel lead him over to the bar.

Dean watches them go and then turns to Castiel, still in just his shirt, looking somewhat dismayed by his surroundings. "Cas?" Dean says, getting far too close to him to compensate for the loud music.

"Dean, this place.." Cas starts to say, but trails off at the sight of Dean's grin.

"Did uh…" Dean says, looking around and fidgeting, wondering how to say this out loud. "... Gabe said that you helped choose this place?"

Castiel looks confused, and then turns to peer at Gabriel over by the bar, coaxing Sam into downing a shot of something green. Realisation washes over the Angel, and he nods quickly, facing Dean again.

"Yes. Yes, I helped choose. Do you like it here?"

Dean looks around himself. They are pressed in a corner together, near to some booths holding groups of shrieking twenty-somethings, and shifty looking businessmen, eyes glued on the dancing girls. On the opposite end of the room is the bar, an obnoxiously long, neon thing that changes colour like a mood ring. The bartenders have facial piercings and crazy coloured hair, and look like you could name any drink in the world and they'd sigh wearily and mix it in seconds.

There are the girls too, of course. The ones strutting up and down the stages surrounding an enormous flashing dance floor, complete with lasers and that smoke stuff that Dean's sure they outlawed because of asthmatics. Each girl wears shiny hot pants that show half her ass, and bikini tops with tassels, and basically – this place is Dean's idea of Heaven. Or at least it would be, if he weren't ridiculously aware of the fact that he's currently got Cas pinned in a corner, and without his trenchcoat and jacket he's practically naked, so there's that too, and he's looking at Dean with the kind of apprehensive hopefulness that Dean recognises from himself when he was younger, when he'd ask for his Dad's approval, and pray he got it.

"Yeah. I friggin'  _love_  it here Cas." Dean says, his eyes flicking down to Cas's mouth just in time to see him smile. "C'mon, let me get you a drink." Dean says loudly, stepping back and holding out his hand for Cas, because he's worried the poor guy feels lost, and because he just wants to. "Celebrate our epic win."

Castiel looks a little terrified, but gulps it down, because hey – he's badass, and Dean already knew that. He takes Dean's hand and they join Gabriel and Sam at the bar just in time to see them both slamming down empty shot glasses defiantly, wincing at the taste of what Dean suspects was pure vodka.

"Guys!" Gabriel exclaims at the sight of them, getting momentarily distracted by one of the scantily clad girls walking past. Sam shoves him to get him to focus again. "Sorry. Guys, you're doing shots with us. You too, little bro!"

Dean feels Castiel tensing immediately beside him, and giggles a little at Castiel's ability to rebel against Heaven in every other way imaginable, but not  _drinking,_ not going  _clubbing,_ where there are  _strippers._ Unthinkable!

Without really thinking about it, Dean squeezes Castiel's hand, making the Angel look up in surprise. Gabriel starts rambling off a list of drinks to the bored looking bartender, but Dean isn't really paying attention, because Cas seems to have just discovered the ability to squeeze Dean's hand in return, which is far more interesting.

"Nnnooo, Gabe get me a Blowjob. I don't like the Nipple Teasers." Sam whines, pawing at Gabriel's shoulder in a way that Dean knows immediately means that Sam is drunk.

"Sam, how much have you  _had?!"_ Dean asks, sounding a little scared. "Gabriel, do not get my brother a blowjob, I don't know what kinds of services they offer here but he will definitely regret that in the morning."

Gabriel starts guffawing loudly and Sam all but falls over.

"Dean, I believe those are the names of the drinks." Castiel says in a steady voice, which makes Dean go immediately red. He pulls his hand out of Cas's grasp because he doesn't want it to get sweaty, and manages to stop glaring at Sam and Gabriel just long enough to hear Cas say in a serious voice, 'I'll have the Ultimate Fuck please."

After everyone is done fainting over Cas's brilliantly sincere request for the crudest (and incidentally  _strongest_ ) drink on the menu, Gabriel orders all three of them to go find a booth, assuring them he will bring the drinks over.

Castiel finds one easily, and whispers in Dean's ear that he chose it because it's in direct view of one of the stripper poles, which makes Dean want to crawl inside a hole, but also (in a really fucked up way) makes him want to hug Cas for being so thoughtful. Though, for some reason he didn't seem to be interested in the strippers tonight.

Dean slides in next to Cas, and eyes Sammy warily across the table, mildly concerned that he'd heard Cas's confession just a moment ago. He's sure he needn't have worried; Sam is totally out of it, yes, but he's also completely glued to Gabriel across the room, watching his every move. Dean chuckles, wondering if there's something Sam wants to tell him.

He turns back to Cas, his breath hitching at the proximity of those black fringed blue eyes again.

"There ya go, amigos, bottoms up!" Gabriel suddenly says, appearing as if from nowhere and bearing a tray holding more drinks than Dean has ever seen together at one time, most of them shots. Sam stares up at him, grinning, and Gabriel slides in amusedly to the seat beside him.

They all find their drinks, Gabriel telling them excitedly to go nuts because he can always make more, and proceeding to demonstrate by snapping his fingers and replacing his empty glass with a full one. Dean's about to suggest a vast number of drinking games they could all play, but when he looks up again, Gabriel and Sam have their arms looped together and are downing their shots in that way that married couples drink their wine. It's alarming to say the least, especially how much Sam is enjoying it.

Dean shrugs it off and turns to Cas, who is holding up his drink and eyeing it cautiously. "Dean, what's in an Ultimate Fuck?"

Dean almost spits out his Blowjob.

"Um, I- I don't know Cas…" Dean says, earning him a curious blink. Dean glances over at Gabriel and Sam, who now appear to both be trying to drink a Snakebite from one glass. "I think it's everything."

"Everything?" Cas repeats, staring into the multi-coloured concoction in his hand. Dean shudders a little; he's sure it has a hell of a kick, whatever it is.

"It's okay Cas, just have some tequila or something-"

Dean stops talking as Castiel raises the glass to his lips, the technicolour liquid pouring into his mouth and down his throat in one swift motion. It happens so quickly Dean thinks he must have imagined it, because he's left staring at a large, empty glass mere seconds later, and Castiel has just downed his entire Ultimate Fuck in one go.

"Hmm. I think that was everything, yes." Castiel says, and he blinks a few times rapidly. Dean considers applauding him. "Perhaps a little less absinthe would have made it more desirable."

"What's that? We got absinthe, bro!" Gabriel shouts across the table, and with a snap of his fingers an unnaturally green bottle appears, complete with four glasses. Dean suddenly feels really left out. He drinks two of his shots quickly, determined to catch up, and immediately pours him and Cas a glass of absinthe.

Castiel downs two more shots as he pours, and Dean marvels again at his tolerance.

"Sammy, do a tequila shot with me." Gabriel croons, and Sam nods emphatically, apparently past the point of being able to refuse anything. Gabriel chuckles, snapping his fingers and producing salt and lemon. "Who would have thought you were such a lightweight?"

"M' not a lightweight!" Sam slurs, looking cross. Gabriel smirks and raises an eyebrow at him.

"Fine, so you're saying you're not drunk right now?" Gabriel asks, and Sam nods defiantly. "Okay then, here's the deal." Gabriel leans close to Sam, fisting a handful of his shirt and pulling him closer. "You name the current President of the United States, and you win."

"B'rck Bama!" Sam cries throwing a triumphant fist into the air. Gabriel laughs, and rolls his eyes. "What do I win?"

Gabriel's eyes sparkle. "Hmm, how about I take my chaser off your neck?"

Sam coughs a little and glances towards Cas and Dean, clearly seeking help. They seem a bit engrossed in their own world, doing plenty of staring, and drinking a  _lot_ of absinthe. Castiel is giggling a lot, and Sam is entranced by it; it's an unusual sight to say the least.

"How's that a prize fur me?" Sam asks, turning back to the situation in hand, his heart beating a little faster. Gabriel leans in further, and Sam can't seem to remember how to move away. He can feel Gabriel's breath against his neck already, and he tries not to picture what his tongue would feel like.

"Trust me, you'll like it." Gabriel breathes, and Sam is sure he shouldn't be able to hear that over the music, but for some reason he can. He chews his lip for a second, Gabriel staring into his eyes. He nods.

Gabriel grins and reaches for the salt and lemon, but Sam grabs his wrists. "Hold on. I get ano'er go at da game." Sam says, and Gabriel seems to have no trouble understanding, despite Sam's battle with the English language. "You t'll me why you keep hangink out round me n' Dean. And  _don't_ lie."

Gabriel purses his lips. That's the secret that could ruin everything. That was worth a lot. He's pretty sure nothing in the world could make him give that up.

"If you t'll me, you c'n do the chaser thingy, off my neck,  _and…_ " Sam looks around him, waiting for inspiration to strike. Gabriel watches as his hair parts, splitting to reveal an expanse of the tanned skin on Sam's neck. He tries not to lick his lips. Sam suddenly gasps, excited. "…AND I'll dance on a stripper pole!"

He beams, triumphant, and Gabriel looks distraught. He's utterly torn. On one hand, to reveal the step-by-step plan he and Cas had been working on non-stop for about several weeks now would be  _disastrous._ A spanner in the works, especially for Cas, who would surely hate him for it because Dean was not likely to take it well.

But on the other hand… Sam said he would dance on a fucking stripper pole.

Gabriel considers praying. That's how far he goes.

"We're hanging round you because we want to get in your pants." Gabriel blurts before he can stop himself. Sam's mouth drops open. He stares at Gabriel in shock for about two minutes, and then swings round to Dean, who is leaning  _way_ into Cas's personal space. Gabriel grabs Sam's shoulders before he can speak.

"Sam, don't." He says quietly, his voice urgent and scared. "My little bro is a good guy okay, he's everything I've always wanted to be; kind, brave, respected, moral... just  _everything._ He deserves something _great._ And he really,  _really_ digs your brother man. Like, really. Pretty sure if he had a diary it'd be covered in 'Mrs Castiel Winchester' doodles." Sam looks conflicted, but stares at Gabriel, comprehending at least. "Please. Keep it on the down low?"

Sam looks back at Dean, chuckling at Cas, who has managed to get the Irish Cream from one of his shots onto his nose and hasn't realised. He turns back to Gabriel and sighs, nodding.

He knows it's a mistake as soon as Gabriel grins. "I'd pin your hair back for this babe." He says, holding up a salt shaker and lemon half. "If you have a hickey in the morning, it's only because I want you to remember that you let me do this."

Sam splutters and screws his eyes shut, unable to keep the grin off his face. He groans, remembering the second half of this promise too, but scrapes his hair back dutifully.

The next few hours are a bit of a blur.

* * *

 

Sam is a  _brilliant_ pole dancer. I mean, Gabriel has seen a lot in his time, and Sam may lack a certain finesse or gracefulness in his performance but he makes up for it with sheer determination and a flexibility so surprising it makes the Archangel's heart falter for a second.

He watches as Sam grinds against the pole again, his long, denim-clad legs twining round the thin metal as he throws his head back, chest arched and spins around it, catching Gabriel's eye at last and grinning saucily. Gabriel accidentally lets out a small growl.

One of the luridly dressed girls (presumably the one he's stolen the pole from) sidles up to Sam, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and taking the tall man by surprise. Gabriel watches, fingernails digging into the table he's leaning against, as Sam turns drunkenly to face her, his eyes roaming over her semi-naked body hungrily, and letting himself be manhandled back against the pole. The girl starts moving against him, her lithe body sliding against Sam's in graceful, professional movements, and when her fingers start to slip the buttons of Sam's shirt through their holes, Gabriel finally realises that he's been scratching inhumanly deep grooves into the wooden table beneath his hands.

The girl has torn Sam's shirt fully open now, running her hands all over his bared flesh, grinning up at him as he looks dazedly back, unable to move. Gabriel loses it at the sight of Sam's hand reaching out towards her, and he charges forwards, a snarl on his lips. In seconds he is tearing Sammy away from the confused-looking stripper, yanking him furiously by the arm until they're both standing on the dancefloor, face to face. Sam looks a little pissed off.

"Hey, what'he hell man?!" Sam yells over the deafening bass drum pounding out of the speakers.

"Enjoying yourself?!" Gabriel yells back, unable to contain his anger. Sam shakes his head, clearly confused, but too drunk to care about whatever Gabriel is saying. "You're gonna dance with me."

It's more of a command than anything else, and Gabriel even surprised himself by saying it, but Sam just pauses for a moment and nods, letting himself be dragged into the midst of the gyrating crowd. Gabriel's starting to think Sam might be so suggestible right now he might literally do anything he says, but he shakes off the thought, grabbing hold of Sam's hand instead and pulling him into the seething masses.

* * *

Dean stumbles out of the bathroom in that uneasy state of mind belonging solely to those who have just found themselves alone in a cubicle, and realised from how difficult it was to unzip their pants, how drunk they must truly be. Dean's kind of glad he's so drunk in a way; maybe tomorrow he'll have forgotten seeing his first glory hole in the men's bathroom, and that greasy guy in the corner by the sinks who stank of urine and called him a 'sexy bitch'.

He looks around for Cas, who he left at the table in the booth they'd secured at the beginning of the night, but he can see immediately the Angel is not there. He knows Cas isn't in the bathroom, because he was just there, and Dean whirls around in a sudden state of panic, thinking 'oh crap I've lost the scared virgin in a strip club'. He does, however, underestimate how able he is to pirouette on the spot after having downed at least half a bottle of absinthe, or what felt like it, and he flails, grabbing hold of the nearest indie raver kid to steady himself.

On his feet again, after having been yelled at by someone with a nose stretcher, Dean plunges forward to search for his Angel, telepathically telling him not to worry, that he would be there soon and they could go somewhere quiet without semi-naked girls or other terrifying things. He searches every table, even embarrassing himself by going into the darkened corners of the room and interrupting some fierce make out sessions, but Cas is nowhere to be found. He lifts his hands to his head despairingly, spinning around again and willing his mind to clear a little so that he wouldn't be so distracted by every shiny light.

Then, suddenly, Dean spots him, far away, his ruffled black hair like a beacon in the sea of multi-coloured dreadlocks. He's sat at the bar, talking to a man Dean can't quite make out from here, and he surges forwards, only tripping slightly on the slippery floor. He reaches the bar easily, and throws a hand down on Cas's shoulder, reassuring himself that it's him, he's here.

Cas turns to him immediately and smiles so wide Dean wonders if his heart might split open, and then he finds himself grinning right back.

"Cas, y'scared me, man!" Dean exclaims, leaning a little towards him.

Castiel opens his mouth to reply and they are interrupted by a loud cough. Cas turns back to the guy he's been chatting with and Dean gets a look at him for the first time. His hair is green and spiked up to imperfect perfection, his kohl rimmed eyes framing some seriously creepy white contact lenses. It makes Dean shudder on the spot. The guy is relatively skinny, wearing obnoxiously tight jeans and a ripped white t-shirt that Dean's sure he must have  _bought_ in tatters. Ridiculous.

"Oh, Dean, this's UltraVox." Castiel introduces quickly, his sloppy smile making Dean's heart skip. "We were talking bout dancing while you'ere in the bathroom."

"Oh right, nice to meet you." Dean grits out, wondering what this sudden feeling consuming him is, and realising that his hand is still firmly clamped on Castiel's shoulder, and that he has no intentions of taking it away.

"Right, whatever." UltraVox says disinterestedly, examining his chipped black nail polish. He glances up at Castiel again, his wicked smile combined with those contacts making Dean's stomach twist. "So… are we gonna go dance then, sparky?"

To Dean's horror, Castiel nods enthusiastically (he's apparently a very happy drunk when he's not having Daddy issues), takes UltraVox's offered hand, and with a quick wave towards Dean starts to move towards the dancefloor with him. Dean is a little shell-shocked for a moment; he can't quite believe Cas just ran off on him with some random douchebag. He has to actively remind his alcohol-addled brain that Cas is  _brand new_ to all this, and while Dean knows that there is a high probability 'UltraVox' (and what kind of a stupid name is that anyway?) wants less than honourable things, Cas probably  _doesn't_  know.

 _But hey, that's what I'm here for, right?,_ Dean thinks, and grabs a nearby shot glass, drinking whatever it is down in a single swallow.

He hears an indignant 'hey!' from behind him as he moves away from the bar, following in the footsteps of Cas and UltraVox until he sees them, at the edge of the dancefloor, Cas shuffling about and waving his arms in the air in a ridiculous and wonderfully endearing fashion. Dean chuckles a little and presses himself against a nearby wall, within viewing distance. UltraVox is standing there awkwardly, looking incredibly embarrassed as Cas shows off more of his 'moves', shimmying about and flailing with his eyes closed and an intense look on his face.

Dean's laughing, because clearly UltraVox had no idea what he was getting into when he asked for this dance, and Dean suspects it will be mere moments before the wannabe punk sidles off.

Instead, the guy seems to decide he's had enough, and he grabs hold of Castiel's waist, pulling them flush against each other. The smile dies on Dean's lips, and he feels like he's swallowed his own heart, something indescribably powerful beginning to surge beneath his skin. Castiel has stopped the stupid dancing now, resembling a deer in headlights as he finds himself so close to the green-haired man before him, probably able to feel his breath against his lips. Dean grits his teeth.

UltraVox winds his hands all the way around Cas's waist, hugging him close, and leans down a little until their cheeks are almost pressed together. He starts to sway them a little, and Dean can  _see_  that Cas is unmoving, completely rigid, apparently still in a state of anxiety and shock at what is suddenly happening. So why can't this douche see it?! Cas is clearly uncomfortable. He wants out. Dean, red hot anger coursing through his veins, sees UltraVox trail his lips lightly over the pulse point of Cas's neck and his vision whites out.

* * *

Gabriel is seriously starting to reconsider his beliefs about God. Before this night, he'd been pretty sure that God, or Daddy as he sometimes called him, was either non-existent or long, long gone. But now, as he holds Sam's waist and feels the delicious slide of the hunter's leg between his, he is really beginning to think that God must have designed this perfect human, because he really is utterly perfect. Sam grinds his hips again and Gabriel is pretty sure he isn't going to be able to take much more of this teasing foreplay or whatever it is. Sam's hands are gripping his ass, holding him in position as he does sinfully delicious things with his body in time to music, and Gabriel has about a minute left of restraint before he snaps his fingers and fucks Sam into the floor of some cheap motel nearby.

"Gabe," Sam breathes hotly against his ear, and Gabriel can hear the smile in his voice, "what're you thinkin' about?"

Gabriel lets out a moan that he hopes is lost in the sound of the thumping music around them, and prises Sam's hands off his behind, for the sole reason that if he doesn't put some space in between their groins right now, he's going to come in his pants.

"M' thinkin' bout you, Sammy." Gabriel replies, managing to find the will to leer up at him. Sam is not easily put off.

"Mmm? Are you thinkin' bout when I danced?" Sam asks, leaning in way too close, until their foreheads are almost touching. He reaches his hands out tentatively towards Gabriel's hips again but Gabe slaps them away, and Sam moves them to his shoulders. "Did you like that?"

Gabriel tries not to breathe in because it will taste of Sam, who is far too drunk to be thinking clearly right now, and Gabriel chastises himself for thinking up this stage of the plan wherein they'd get the brothers completely up for anything, but be bound by moral code not to do anything until they were sober.

"Yeah, Sammy. You're the best stripper I've ever seen." Gabriel replies, unable to deny himself the pleasure of sliding his hands up Sam's chest, still bare from where the stripper had ripped his shirt open before. Sam lets out a little whimper at the touch of Gabriel's hands.

"You should come up with me, Gabe. It's really fun." Sam says, and Gabriel can hear the suggestive tone, but he doesn't understand it. He leans away, examining Sam's face for clues, but finding only mischief. Before he knows it, he's being pulled forwards by his wrist, Sam leading him purposefully towards one of the long stages nearby.

Sam hops up onto it easily, with the grace that shouldn't be allowed on someone that drunk, and Gabriel just looks vexed as he takes in the looming stripper pole above him, not to mention the height of the stage itself. Gabriel is contemplating how he's going to even get up there, never mind the dancing he's apparently going to be doing (though he's never one to back down from new experiences), when Sam holds out a hand for him to take, laughing at his height apparently, or lack thereof.

Gabriel scowls at him but takes his hand, finding himself being hauled up suddenly by arms he'd forgotten held such strength, quite unprepared, and slamming face first against Sam's bare, glistening chest. He pulls back after a reasonable amount of lingering on Sam Winchester's glorious abs, and stares up into Sam's 'raised-eyebrow' expression.

"I tripp'd!" Gabriel slurs, wondering if he can 'trip' again and land somewhere a little less discreet.

"Riiiight." Sam says, and grabs hold of Gabriel's hand, pulling him towards the pole. Gabriel gulps at the look in Sam's eyes.

* * *

When reality swims back into focus, Dean is standing on the dancefloor with Cas where he and UltraVox had just stood, though that idiot is nowhere to be seen, and Dean's hand is throbbing like a _motherfucker._ Castiel is staring at Dean wide-eyed, as if he just witnessed a miracle.

"Dean, what…" Castiel starts to say, and trails off, his eyes filled with wonder. Dean blinks, disoriented, having lost the last minute or so of his life. " _Thank you._ "

Dean raises his eyebrows at that, and suddenly Castiel is cradling his shrieking fist. It glows for a weird, trippy little second, and then the pain just melts away. Oh right, the Angel thing. "Uh, Cas… did I just…" Dean scans through his memory of before the black out. White hot jealousy fills his mind. "Oh crap. I hit him, didn't I?"

Castiel nods solemnly before bursting into giggles and then proceeding to do a one-man re-enactment. It's pretty good, all things considered, and Cas even times it to the music, which so happens to be 'Fight For This Love' by that Welsh chick. It shouldn't work, but it does, and Dean ends up in tears of laughter.

Cas beams at him, bowing to signify the end of his performance. A few people clap, having turned to watch the spectacle. Castiel grins at them and then rushes towards Dean, grabbing hold of fistfuls of his shirt and leaning in close. "Dean… you were… heroic!"

Dean smirks, and shrugs, trying to play it off. "I try."

Castiel laughs and punches him playfully, a feat that is in some ways extremely disturbing, as Cas would never do that if he were sober. Then again, he'd probably never run off to dance with green-haired twinks either, thinks Dean, feeling the rage start to simmer again. Absinthe is a funny thing. Castiel's eyes turn dark. "I did not like that man."

Dean suddenly grips him by the shoulders, their faces extremely close, Dean with venom in his eyes. He thinks of UltraVox and loosens his grip a little, not wanting to give Cas some PTSD. "I didn't either, Cas." Dean growls, and he thinks he must imagine the way Castiel's pupils are suddenly blown wide. "I didn't like the way he had his hands all over you."

Dean thinks Angels must have super crazy effects on humans because he can  _feel_ how fast Castiel's heart is suddenly beating, and the room is instantly a thousand degrees; Dean can feel the sweat starting to trickle down his throat, can hear Cas's breathing speed up.

"W-why?" Castiel asks, and Dean gets the feeling it took a lot of guts to spit that question out.

"Just… you're not allowed to let anyone touch you like that, okay?" Dean hisses, teeth gritted again. Their mouths are so close, he can't stop glancing down at Cas's pink lips, so damp and full.

Castiel moves even closer, as if that were possible, and now Dean can feel the heat radiating from him everywhere, it's as if no part of them isn't millimetres away from being pressed against the other's. "But Dean," Castiel says too-innocently, a small smile playing on his lips. Dean almost loses his words over the loud music still thundering on, and he becomes aware of his hands, still on Castiel's shoulders, so hot that they're probably searing their own imprints. "You're touching me right now."

Dean lets Castiel's words sink in, lets the faux-casual glance Castiel aims at his mouth register in his brain for a moment, and then he smiles. "You're  _my_ Angel, I'm allowed."

Dean wishes he wasn't so drunk when he did this, he wishes the room was still and steady and not spinning wildly as he pulls Castiel towards him a little too roughly, pressing their lips together and kissing him hungrily, hoping to God that he hasn't scarred the poor guy for life. Castiel responds eagerly, and that in itself makes Dean want to throw him up against the nearest wall and grind their hips together until they're both screaming, but he is too caught up in what Cas's hands are doing, finding their way under the hem of his shirt and sliding up the damp skin of his back.

Dean's hands thread themselves into Castiel's hair, seemingly of their own accord – apparently his inhibition-less mind has always wondered what Cas's locks feel like, and the answer is like rich black fur, all tufty from the rain – he runs his tongue along Cas's lower lip, practically begging to be let inside and Cas obliges, his mouth parting to let Dean taste the delicious liquorice tinged flavour of the Angel; a bottle of absinthe, a thousand shots and an Ultimate Fuck apparently creating the world's most heavenly cocktail.

They are interrupted by a loud chanting from a crowd nearby.

* * *

The crowd apparently love a double act way more than a single pole dancer, no matter how hot he or she might be. So whilst Sam made an admirable stripper the first time around, it was nothing compared to when he brought his partner up on stage to join in his routine. Everyone watching went mad for them, loving how they teased each other around the pole, even though it wasn't for the audience's entertainment. Gabriel took full advantage of Sam's flexibility, using him mostly as a climbing frame, with the support of the pole, and Sam was extremely compliant, lifting Gabriel and pushing him up against the pole, even unbuttoning  _his_ shirt when the audience demanded it, until finally they start to tire, the fifth song in a row finishing, and they take their bows.

Sam grins delightedly as the audience cheers and wolf-whistles him, taking Gabriel's hand for a quick ironically dramatic final bow before they turn to go.

"What?! No kiss?! After  _all that?!_ " Someone yells from the midst of the crowd. Sam chuckles and winks in the vague direction of the heckler, his heart pounding at the idea.

Gabriel waggles his finger at the audience as they start to chime in with agreements, shouting 'yeah!' and 'you've gotta kiss him now, for fuck's sake!'. Gabriel wills them all to shut up; if he ends up having to kiss Sam because of peer pressure, he's not sure he will be able to control these animalistic urges.

The audience have now managed to start up an impressively loud chant of 'Kiss!' over and over again, actually managing to drown out Ke$ha's caterwauling with their urges. Gabriel groans internally and looks over at Sam hesitantly. Sam is grinning from ear to ear like he's won some kind of prize, and Gabriel is suddenly powerless. He couldn't fight this guy off if he wanted to, he knows, and he really,  _really_ doesn't want to.

Sam crosses the stage to him in three easy strides, the audience cheering wildly, his shirt flapping around his waist like miniature wings. Gabriel doesn't even try not to check him out as the material reveals his toned, gorgeous body, and just grins back as Sam hooks two massive arms round his waist and actually  _lifts_ him a little way until their lips crash together, heated and filled with the repressed desires of an entire evening - an entire  _three years_  in Gabriel's case. Gabriel's fingers tangle in Sam's hair, something he's wanted to do since he first saw the guy's ridiculous L'oreal locks, and he figures that as long as his legs aren't touching the ground he may as well do something with them, so he wraps them securely around Sam's hips, making Sam groan in response.

There's a slight battle for dominance when Sam pushes his tongue inside Gabriel's mouth, twining them together to the excited whoops and hysterical cries from the crowd watching somewhere in the background, but Gabriel fights valiantly, managing to restore some authority and making Sam chuckle in the process.

"Sammy?!" Sam breaks away from Gabriel, his blood running cold at the sound of that voice. He looks up, horrified, and sees Dean standing at the front of the crowd, an abhorred expression on his face at seeing Gabriel wrapped around his younger brother no doubt.

"Dean, no, s'not what it looks-" Sam starts to slur, wondering vaguely if Dean saw the pole dancing. Sam is cut off by Dean suddenly swooning – yes,  _swooning_ – like a damsel with her corsets too tight, and landing in Castiel's arms, out cold. Apparently some things are just too much to cope with.

Castiel immediately tends to Dean, checking he's breathing and pulling him into an upright position. Gabriel untangles himself from Sam, and that's when Sam notices he's laughing.

"Oh wow." Gabriel says, wiping a tear from his eye and wrapping his arm around Sam's waist. The crowd, still milling around from their performance earlier begin to disperse upon seeing that Dean is not dead. Just passed out. How dull. "Great night, huh? Home time?"

Castiel, holding Dean up by the one arm slung around his shoulders, just looks at him.


	4. The Fourth Way To Court A Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is sick of Sam ignoring him, and he suspects Castiel is having similar problems with Dean. Together, they're sure they can concoct a plan brilliant enough that both of them will get their man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I got everything right in terms of the Winchesters :)

 

"Holy  _hell_ that was tiring." Gabriel yelled into the warm summery air of his own personal slice of Heaven, flopping down heavily onto the large waiting hammock, now filled with a wide variety of cushions in every shape and colour.

Castiel followed wearily behind, looking a little beaten down himself, and still without his trenchcoat or suit jacket. He sank down beside Gabriel, his feet by the other Angel's head as usual. "Don't blaspheme in Heaven, Gabriel. And I refuse to accept the blame for this one."

Gabriel snorted, thinking he was joking, but looking at Castiel's raised eyebrows, he saw that the younger Angel was actually serious. "What?!" He exclaimed, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at his brother. "Why does anyone get any  _blame?_  Are you telling me you didn't  _enjoy_ yourself last night? Don't think I don't know about you and Dean's wandering hands, Cassy. I see  _everything_." He winked at Cas, who was blushing furiously by now.

"Gabriel! I did not enter willingly into this crazy scheme just for a drunken kiss and fumble in some ghastly  _strip club_!" Castiel practically shouted in retaliation, propping himself up too. "Somehow I think dragging Dean's unconscious body back to Bobby's house, helping him throw up the vast quantity of drinks you conjured up for both boys – may I just remind you, a little late apparently, that they do  _not_  possess the stamina of an Angel –" Gabriel rolled his eyes at that, "and then watching over him for the entire night to check he doesn't choke on his own vomit  _might just_  cancel out the fleeting moment of happiness I felt when he kissed me, only to remind myself seconds later that he was doing it because he was  _wasted."_

"God, Cassy! Lighten up!" Gabriel groaned, swinging his legs out of the hammock and standing up. He snapped his fingers and a small chasm suddenly appeared in the ground by his feet, immediately filling with steaming, bubbling water. Gabriel turned to grin at Cas, then stripped off and jumped straight in. Castiel averted his eyes politely. "The way I see it," Gabriel shouted over his shoulder to Cas, needing to raise his voice to cover the sound of the bubbles, "we both got  _extremely_ lucky last night – Sammy's a hell of a kisser, which is an awesome bonus I hadn't anticipated – and so what if we had to play nurse a little when we took 'em home? From what you tell me, you've gotta do that a lot when you befriend the Winchesters anyway! And I'm like, ninety percent sure Sam was having a wet dream about me. You should've heard the noises he was making in his sleep-"

"That's quite alright Gabriel. I don't require details." Castiel interrupted, and then gave a huge sigh, flopping back onto the hammock. "I suppose you're right in a way. Although I doubt they're going to be too happy about remembering the events of last night when they awake today."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Pfft. Oh, they're big boys, they'll be fine! They had a great time! We made sure of it." Gabriel gave Cas a sneaky wink.

Castiel grimaced and hoped his brother was right.

* * *

Despite having been conscious for at least half an hour, Dean is refusing to let wakefulness overcome him. He likes sleep, despite the fact he doesn't get a lot of it. It's a happy place generally, where he can escape the real world and dream of other things, or, as he prefers, nothing. Of course, there are the nights he dreams of Hell, and of Sammy's face smeared with blood, and his father's disappointed eyes. But those nights are coming fewer and fewer now.

Right now, at this moment, Dean is fearing something a lot worse. The aftermath of a  _really_ heavy night of drinking. With Angels. He can already feel the twisting, roiling headache, pounding against his skull like it's trying to escape Dean's brain. His throat feels like someone has shoved a searing hot poker down it, which probably means he threw up the contents of his stomach last night. Ugh. He doesn't want to open his eyes, partly because he's pretty sure that any light brighter than the backs of his lids right now is going to blind him, but also because he doesn't… fully remember everything. He's sure it'll come back to him in a little while, but until he knows, he doesn't want to look around and see what, or who, is waiting for him to wake up.

Not that he's worried he would have done anything with anyone he went out with last night, of course.

Eventually though, the headache becomes the only thing he can focus on, and he groans in defeat as he peels open his eyelids, hoping to Heaven that some nice, lovely person has left aspirin or water on his bedside table, and lo! Someone has. Dean makes a mental note to kiss that person later.

He reaches for the pills and water blindly, vaguely noting that he is in Bobby's guest room, which is upstairs. Someone… possibly the same someone who left the pills, must have  _carried_ him upstairs last night, because he's ninety percent sure he didn't walk.

He sits up a little once he's taken the aspirin and looks around blearily, noticing nothing amiss in the room, aside from the flowery cream wallpaper that still weirds Dean out because it's  _Bobby,_ but he supposes the guy just never bothered changing it after Karen died. He also notices that the chair which usually sits by the desk in the far corner has been pulled over to sit beside the bed, which is a little strange maybe, but not noteworthy.

He gets up at length, deciding to look for Sam and begin the piecing together of what-the-hell-happened last night. He notices just before he gets to the door that he's less than fully dressed. For the hundredth time that morning, he wonders what the hell happened, and grabs a tatty blue dressing gown off the back of the door to cover himself.

Sam is slumped on the couch when he gets downstairs, still out cold and drooling in a very unattractive manner. His long legs are hanging off the end of the sofa, and Dean vaguely wonders how he lucked out in getting the bed last night. He reckons Cas must have batted his puppy eyes at Gabriel, and then feels a bit weird – because why would he immediately assume Cas had done that for him?

"Sam?" Dean says loudly, crossing over to his brother, noting that the fire is blazing in the grate. "Sammy? C'mon get up." Dean lifts a leg and nudges Sam sharply with his foot, causing him to shift and groan.

Sam blinks awake, looking positively wrecked, and glances up at Dean, only to immediately bury his face in the pillow again. "Go 'way."

"I brought aspirin…" Dean says tantalisingly, and Sam reluctantly sits up a little, accepting the bottle of pills Dean draws out from his dressing gown pocket.

Once they are both drugged up and relatively awake – Dean had to tactfully hoist Sam's blanket up around his thighs to avoid being scarred for life – they sit side by side on the couch, their heads back against the cushions, trying to move as little as possible. Dean glances over at Sam, a grim expression on his face.

"Okay, let's just get this out." Dean says firmly. "How much do you remember?"

Sam shakes his head slowly, his mouth slightly open. "Bits and pieces."

"Yeah, me too." Dean grumbles, running a hand over his face. "I remember getting there… Cas ordering an Ultimate Fuck…" Sam chuckles at the reminder, and Dean joins in. "…sitting down with our shots… and then… you've lost me."

Sam nods slowly, brow furrowing. "Yeah, I'm about the same." His expression gets a bit more clouded, as if he's trying to make sense of something. "Dean…" He suddenly says, horrified. "…did I… I didn't _pole dance_ did I?!"

Dean laughs at him, finding the very idea endlessly amusing –  _and then he remembers._

"Holy shit!" Dean exclaims, sitting up straight and staring at Sam. "You did! With Gabriel, oh  _Christ."_

Dean squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block out the image of Gabriel's legs wrapped around his brother, Sam's tongue down the guy's throat. He groans, willing himself to forget again.

"Oh, man." Sam says, and he has a crazed expression in his eyes. "I was so… I did things… with  _Gabe…_  oh man."

Sam is clearly troubled, and Dean knows he should be helping, but he can't get over the skin-crawly feeling of Sam and Gabe making out on stage, their shirts ripped open, their wandering hands. He's pretty sure that's what made him pass out in the first place, because he doesn't remember anything after that, and he hopes it was a manly faint, or that someone knocked him out accidentally.

He shudders again, watching Sam have a mini-mental breakdown next to him, practically hyperventilating. "God, dude… there are some things I just do not need to remember." Dean says, and Sam shoots him a fiery look. "What in the hell possessed you to  _make out_ with him, man?!" Dean chuckles for the first time, suddenly finding the humour in the situation. He had teasing material for  _life_ with this one. "I mean, I had an Angel looking after me too and you don't see me and him-  _OH MY GOD_!"

Dean jumps off the couch, his dressing gown flying open to reveal his boxers and nothing else. Sam shields his eyes. Memories start to flood Dean's mind: soft black hair between his fingers, shining ice blue eyes, lit up by a dazed and happy smile. He remembers pressing his lips against Cas's, tasting the fruit on his tongue, losing his mind as Cas's hands slid up his shirt…

"Dean, what's wrong?" Sam asks, amusement evident in his voice. Dean whirls round to face him, cheeks flaming, wondering if Sam knows.

"N-nothing's wrong." Dean says immediately, convincing no one. "I have to go… upstairs."

With that, Dean marches quickly towards the stairs he came from, back to the privacy of the guest bedroom to hopefully find his goddamn clothes and maybe work out what the hell he was thinking by tonguing his best Angel friend last night.

* * *

When Dean steps out of the shower, his head feels a little less like it's trying to destroy itself, which is a good thing, and he's pretty sure he's successfully shoved any thoughts of Angel make-out sessions to the back of his mind. He wraps a towel around himself, and after a cursory glance in the mirror to assess last night's damage, he makes his way back to the guest room. God only knows where Bobby is, again, and Dean hopes he'll materialise at some point. He needs normality. Bad.

He crosses to the bed where he's laid out some clothes after a good five minutes of searching for his bag, eventually finding it in the linen closet. He was mostly surprised that Bobby even  _had_ a linen closet. He's just about to drop his towel when he hears a familiar rustling sound, and a cold sweat trickles down his neck. He gulps, frozen, holding his pants in mid-air.

"Um, hello Dean." Castiel says from behind him, and Dean can already tell he's embarrassed.

 _Oh it's going to be real easy to get past this_ , he thinks sarcastically, _the guy's more embarrassed about this than I am!_

Dean turns, fixing a false smile on his face. His breath hitches at the sight of Cas, still without his trenchcoat –  _for the love of God have mercy –_ standing there fidgeting, his hair tousled and messy, presumably from where Dean ruffled it up last night, because he highly doubts Cas owns a brush.

"Hey!" Dean says, and he can tell it's too cheery. Castiel keeps doing strange eye movements, glancing at Dean for a millisecond and then furtively looking away, his eyes drawn back as if by magnets. "You okay?"

Castiel's eyes meet his, and he swears the guy's face just melts into an amused smile, as if silently laughing at a shared joke. It's a beautiful thing to witness. "Yes, Dean. I'm fine. Thankyou for asking." There is moment of mildly awkward silence. "Are you alright? Did you take the painkillers I left out?"

Surprise floods Dean's mind, and then he thinks that he realy shouldn't be shocked at all. Cas is always looking after him. It's a very endearing quality. "Yeah," he says, smiling, "thanks, Cas." Dean thinks for a moment, and then looks up at him, a little awestruck. "Wait... did you carry me up here?"

Castiel actually  _gulps_ at the question, and looks away again. "Y-yes. I had to... you were unconscious, it was no trouble you're not heavy, I hope you don't mind-"

"No, no!" Dean cries, interrupting Cas awkwardly. "It's uh... it's all good. Thanks. 'ppreciate it."

Castiel's face melts again, and he looks utterly relieved. Dean can admit it's a little weird; but the guy has practically assigned himself the job of taking care of Dean, and it's kind of... really great actually. Angels probably just think it's perfectly normal to carry someone up the stairs, strip them down to their underwear, put them in bed, help them throw up, watch over them till morning...

Okay, maybe it's just a Cas thing. But for some reason Dean is not complaining.

Dean smiles back, genuine this time, and for a moment he forgets everything else. Then he is for some reason very aware that he is naked, save for a towel. "So... have fun last night?" Dean asks, trying to hide his sudden flush by turning around and looking for some underwear.

Castiel pauses, his eyes wide as he stares at Dean's bare, damp shoulders. "Y-yes. It was a very… frivolous evening."

Dean chuckles at the phrasing and slips on the underwear he's found quickly, underneath the towel.  _This could be okay_ , he thinks,  _me and Cas are both emotionally repressed beings, all I have to do is skilfully avoid the subject of kissing and we can pretend like it never happened!_

"What was your favourite part?" Dean asks without thinking, turning to face Cas and realising the mistake of such an open-ended question too late. They stare wide-eyed at each other, clearly both thinking the exact same thing.

Castiel, for his part, is utterly dumbfounded by Dean's question. Did the hunter want him to forget about the kissing? Would he be offended if Castiel chose a moment other than the kiss as the one he favoured most from the night out? Human were so cryptic! This is why he needed Gabriel, God help him.

Luckily, at that moment, Gabriel appears from seemingly nowhere, holding Sam in a fireman's carry over his shoulder. Upon appearing in between Cas and Dean, Gabriel dumps the groaning Sam – still sore from his on-going hangover – onto the ground, smiling broadly as Sam flips him off.

"Well, I guess you two have smoothed everything over." Dean says, smiling coldly at Gabriel and grabbing a shirt from behind him because he is sick of being so naked. Though Sam isn't much better off, clad in only his boxers and a blanket, poor guy.

"What's there to smooth over, Dean-bo?!" Gabriel cries, still looking far too ridiculously happy for Dean's grumpy, hung over state. "So we had a hot, crazy make-out slash stripping session?!" Sam groans from where he's lying on the floor, covering his face with the blanket he's holding. Gabriel grins down at him and goes to lie beside him, arms behind his head. "He's cool with it, aren't you sexpot?"

Sam just makes a noise that sounds like a soft weeping. Gabriel pats him, clearly satisfied that this means yes.

Dean, having managed to climb into a t-shirt at last, but prolonging the moment he whips off the towel, risks a glance over at Cas, who is glaring at Gabriel again.

"Yeah, well." Dean coughs a little, catching Cas's eye. "Glad you guys are all buddied up again. At least I didn't do a damn pole dance."

Sam's middle finger is aimed at Dean this time, but is quickly retracted when Gabriel's hands start to find their way underneath the blanket. He obviously gets way too bored way too fast. Sam finds himself preoccupied with trying to restrain him.

"Aw, you're welcome Dean-o!" Gabriel says, his fingers skimming Sam's ribcage. "At least, I  _think_ that may have been a thank you? Who knows. Long as you had a good time." Dean doesn't mean to immediately glance up at Cas at these words, but he does anyway. "Though you should really thank my little bro-OW!" Gabriel blinks down at Sam, surprised. "Sammy… did you just bite me?"

Sam shrugs, panting a little after the struggle of trying to swat Gabe's hands away. "These are prize-worthy goods, Gabe. I know you got a little taste last night, but I can't just let you cop a feel whenever you want."

Gabriel's mouth falls open a little way, and something sparks in his eyes that Dean really,  _really_ didn't want to see. Sam's grinning a little and Dean's about five seconds away from running out of the door before he watches an Archangel fuck his brother into oblivion, but Cas interrupts – God bless him.

"Dean doesn't need to thank me for anything. Or you, for that matter." Gabriel breaks his gaze from Sam reluctantly, and he looks pissed off that he had to. "I doubt they're particularly grateful for the blinding headaches and nausea they're currently suffering with."

Dean raises his eyebrows at Cas's fierce expression, watching interestedly as Gabriel rises from the floor to stand in front of him. Castiel is stern, unyielding, and Gabriel tries to stare him down, but eventually rolls his eyes and looks away. "Okay, fine. Whatever. Don't thank me for all the drinks I got you-"

"The drinks you conjured up for  _free?_!" Castiel interrupts scornfully, and Dean chuckles, making Castiel look up in surprise at him.

Gabriel sighs. "We had a good time! Stop being such a downer! Look, if you want boys, me and Cas will make it up to you." Dean's brow furrows and his gaze flicks curiously between Cas and Gabe. He hadn't been expecting that. Sam's eyebrows raise, eyes fixed on Gabriel. "We'll take away the headaches,  _and_ we have a special present for you. Our way of saying 'thanks for fixing the world, muttonheads'."

Dean takes a tentative step towards Cas, his every movement carried out in the knowledge that he took similar paces last night, just before he kissed the guy. "Cas?" Dean asks, his eyes fixed on the Angel's face, forcing himself not to look away. "A present? Is he screwing with us?"

Castiel looks confused for a moment, and then, after a moment's hesitation, takes a step towards Dean too. "No." He says firmly, now that they are way beyond the boundaries of personal space. "We went to a lot of trouble."

Dean is a little stunned; he hadn't expected Cas to move this close, and now that he has, he's finding it difficult to move away. He hadn't remembered everything about how it felt to be this near to Cas, to smell the rain-scented skin of his face and neck, his omnipresent black stubble and how it felt sliding across his chin, the deep scratch of his voice permeating the still air.

He can feel Cas's warm breath; that's how close he is. Dean has never felt so torn in his life, he wants to close the few inches between them  _so badly_ , but he's still so confused as to why. That confusion is making him want to bolt from the room, hide away in the Impala or in Bobby's panic room, wherever. Cas is still staring, and Dean still hasn't moved away.

"Dean…" Castiel starts to say, very quietly, and Dean watches his mouth form the word.

A loud cough jolts them from their weird moment, and Dean steps back hastily, coughing a little himself. Gabriel is staring at them both, eyebrows raised, one arm around Sam who is still sat on the floor, smirking at them.

"Okay, what's this 'present' then?" Dean asks, ignoring the burn in his cheeks.

"Boys," Gabriel says, his eyes lighting up. Sam looks up at him wearily. "We're taking you to Heaven."

**The Fourth Way To Court A Winchester: Take Them To Heaven**

* * *

 

"Bring them  _here_?" Castiel asked, his voice sounding strained. It made Gabriel's shoulders ache just hearing it. "Do you really think that's wise, Gabriel?"

Gabriel wriggled his shoulders and sank further down into the bubbling water, sighing softly as the tension in his muscles slipped away. "Yeah! It's  _Heaven,_ Cassy. I doubt they're gonna find it too terrible."

Castiel aimed a troubled look at the back of Gabriel's head. Sighing, he swung his legs out of the hammock and stood up, walking round the new 'jacuzzi' Gabriel had created until he was able to look his brother in the eye. "I don't know…"

Gabriel squinted up at him and let out a weary sigh. "Holy Hell, Cas would you just get in here please?"

Castiel immediately stiffened, looking down at the Jacuzzi as if it would eat him. "Why?"

"Well, I seem to have made the innocent mistake of thinking a night of heavy drinking and a long make out session with the guy you're crushing on would have loosened you up, but apparently I got that wrong. So climb in to the hot tub, Cas, and we can discuss this reasonably."

Castiel raised his eyebrows at Gabriel and folded his arms wordlessly. Gabriel, seeming to take this as a challenge, smirked and clapped his hands once. Immediately Castiel staggered forwards as though pushed, and fell, flailing into the steaming bubbles opposite. Gabriel chuckled as he watched Castiel resurface and shake droplets out of his hair furiously.

"Gabriel! What on earth-"

"Simmer down, Cassy." Gabriel interrupted, already bored with the whole situation. Castiel scowled. "Look, you're in now, might as well talk it out with me."

"We were talking it out anyway!" Castiel yelled, pinching his sodden tie between two fingertips and holding it up for inspection.

"Yeah, but now hopefully you'll be a little more relaxed about it." Gabriel explained as if that was perfectly reasonable.

Castiel stared at him, wondering if he could really actually believe that throwing someone fully clothed into a Jacuzzi would aid their relaxation.

"Anyway," Gabriel continued, "I'm not talking about taking them  _here_ necessarily. Just to some select locations. And it's not like we have to worry about Michael hounding our asses anymore either."

Castiel looked down at his hands, submerging them under the water, considering. "Raphael." He pointed out.

Gabriel shrugged, making the water ripple. "Last I heard he's patrolling the Earth."

"Perhaps…" Castiel began, his lips pursed thoughtfully, still staring into the water. Gabriel's heart leapt at the word. "…perhaps I do see some potential in your idea. We could take them to the Heavens of departed souls that were dear to them in life. I think Dean would like that."

Gabriel grinned and gave Castiel a playful splash, which he didn't seem to appreciate. "Of course he will! See, it's a fabby idea! Okay, let's go tell them hot shot. I'll bet they're awake by now. I wonder how much they'll remember from last night…"

"You're drying me off first." Castiel said firmly, and Gabriel rolled his eyes, but obliged.

* * *

The hardest part of the plan is informing Castiel that  _technically speaking_ he'd have to kill Dean for this to work. Gabriel has already had the discussion with Sam when he realises he needs to tell Cas this, and Sam seemed a little wary at first – quite rightly – but Gabriel promised he'd be gentle and that he'd bring him back after they'd had a little fun.

Castiel is immediately horrified as soon as Gabriel takes him into a corner for a private chat. "What?! I did not agree to that, Gabriel! I will not just kill Dean Winchester after everything I have done to keep him safe!"

Gabriel rolls his eyes, about to explain that  _for Christ's sake it's only temporary and how did he get such a drama queen for a brother_ when Dean interrupts them, fully dressed now and prepared for the imminent voyage.

"Cas," he says gently, placing a hand on the Angel's shoulder, swallowing down the awkwardness he still feels from last night's shenanigans. He tries to push the memories of Cas's tongue twined with his own to the back of his mind. Gabriel slinks away, sensing this is a private moment. "it's okay, man. Gabriel already talked it over with Sammy, you guys can bring us back. And…" Dean smiles sheepishly, glancing down at the floor for a second. "I'd like to see where you live. I mean, with you there too this time."

Castiel is silent for a long moment, staring at Dean. Then he glances down at Dean's hand, still resting on his shoulder. "Okay, Dean."

* * *

The Angels instruct the boys to lie down on the double bed in the guest room. They are all about to traipse upstairs when Bobby suddenly walks in, oil smeared on his hands and face, fresh from the scrapyard. He pauses, eyebrows raised as he takes in the sight of the two Angels and both Winchesters all together. He sighs, shakes his head and grabs a cloth from behind the sink.

"Are you idgits ever gonna get outta my house?" He grumbles, turning back towards the door from which he came.

"Err, Bobby?" Sam says hesitantly, causing the old hunter to stop and turn slightly. "If… we're asleep on the bed upstairs… and we're kinda difficult to wake up… don't worry, okay?"

Bobby's eyes flick between the four people standing in his study, one eyebrow cocked suspiciously. "Riiight." He says, and turns away again. "I'm pretty sure I don't wanna know."

Dean breathes a sigh of relief as Bobby heads out the door.

"I like that guy." Gabriel says, cheerily, a grin plastered on his face.

* * *

Lying on the bed next to Sam, their eyes tightly shut, trying not to think about their very imminent death, Dean finds it difficult not to be a little nervous. He wills his heart to stop beating so loudly, repeating to himself that Cas will be nice about this, and just cause every other death he's ever had hurt like hell, doesn't mean this one will.

Castiel notices the rise in Dean's temperature and the quickening of his pulse as he leans over him, ready to stop his heart with one touch. Dean won't even feel it; he'll blink and he'll be in the Heavenly Garden, but it appears his friend is nervous nonetheless.

"Dean?" Castiel says very softly, and even Gabriel politely averts his eyes, choosing instead to play with Sam's hair until Cas is finished. Dean grits his teeth a little but nods to show he acknowledges Cas's words. "Don't be scared Dean, it won't hurt, I promise."

Dean nods curtly and lets out a shaky breath. He opens one eye to look at Cas, and smiles. "Be gentle, okay?" He says jokingly, trying to cover his fear. Castiel smiles back warmly, and covers Dean's eyes with one hand.

He nods over at Gabriel, who is having a thumb war with Sam, and is  _losing_ despite Sam's eyes being closed. Gabriel lets Sam pin down his thumb and laugh triumphantly, and then he breaks free of the bigger man's grasp. "Ready Sammy?" He whispers, smoothing down Sam's hair. Sam gulps, but nods trustingly.

The Angels exchange a single wordless glance, and then they reach out to their Winchester's foreheads.

* * *

"Waaaakey wakey!" Gabriel cries, jumping on Sam and tickling him for all he is worth.

Sam screams and struggles, fighting Gabriel's impossibly strong hold, considering he is so tiny.

"Dean, we are in the Heavenly realm now, if you would like to open your eyes." Castiel says, crouching down next to where Dean is laying in the grass next to Sam. Dean blinks his eyes open quickly, taking in the sight of Cas, who looks exactly the same in Heaven, much to his delight, except maybe a little... brighter.

"Cool." Dean says weakly, lost in the same blue eyes he has been for the last two years. Again, he is reminded of the kissing, and finds himself somewhat frozen in place. "Nice job, Cas."

Castiel smiles and holds out a hand to Dean to help him up. Sam calls a helpless 'time out' to Gabriel, who hasn't ceased the tickling, and flops back onto the grass as Gabriel relents, and stands up.

Dean seems far too fascinated by the shock of seeing Castiel's hand in his own to be able to contemplate looking around, so Sam decides he'll have to take on that role. He gets up, checking the backs of his legs for grass stains and shoves Gabriel, who is watching him, amused.

"Thanks for helping me up, asswipe." Sam grumbles, and Gabriel chuckles, pretending to be insulted. "So, uh, where's this s'pposed to be?" Sam asks no one in particular, gesturing at the large, mint green painted house, quite suburban-looking with a greyish awning over the porch. The boys and the Angels are standing in the front yard, and the house appears to be the only thing for miles around, except for a long stretch of empty road leading off into the horizon behind them.

Dean turns, looking to where Sam is pointing and he sucks in a gasp, eyes wide. Subconsciously he squeezes Castiel's hand tightly, having not let go, and gets a vague feeling of familiarity, as though he has done it before.

"Sammy, don't you recognise it?!" Dean asks, turning to his brother in equal parts dismay and joy. Sam shakes his head, looking apprehensive.

Dean wastes no time, marching up to the front door and knocking thrice, pulling a fairly pleased-looking Cas along with him. Dean's breath is coming short and fast, and he quickly smoothes down his hair, anxious. He feels Sam and Gabriel pad up the steps behind him, but he hardly notices, he can't believe-

The door swings open.

A beautiful, smiling woman stands in the doorway, her face framed by waves of soft blonde hair. Upon seeing Dean standing there, she lets out a cry of pure joy, tears springing into her eyes.

"Mom?" Dean says, his voice faltering already.

She reaches out her arms, smiling widely and Dean rushes into them, dropping Cas's hand and wrapping her up in an embrace, breathing in her soft talcum-powder smell. He can feel her trembling with hysterical laughter in his arms, and he knows she is crying, but he is safe in the knowledge that they are tears of happiness. He wants to stay there forever.

"Dean. My precious little Dean." She murmurs into his chest, her voice a whisper.

"M-mom?" Dean hears Sam stutter out from behind him, and it is only this voice, from his tiny baby brother who never got to meet his mommy, that could make Dean release Mary Winchester from his arms. He catches her wrists as she draws away, still smiling, and just stares down at her for a moment, marvelling at her beauty, the splay of freckles across her nose. He kisses one of her palms and lets her go, moving aside to let Sam through.

"Sam." She breathes, and throws her arms around his shoulders, standing on tiptoe to reach. Sam appears shell-shocked, unable to move for several moments as he just stares down at the golden cascade falling from the top of her head. "My baby."

Sam lets out a tiny whimper, and finally reacts, wrapping his arms around her white, flowery dress, pulling her closely to him.

Castiel and Gabriel stand aside while the boys greet their mother, as they had already known they would have to. It would be emotional, they'd said, when they cooked up this plan, but they'd agreed it would be better for the boys to know she was safe and happy in Heaven, and that they could join her one day.

When Sam has finally gotten his fill of hugging, Mary steps back a little, moving the boys so that they stand together, side-by-side in their old hallway, which is exactly how Dean remembers it. He even notices the drawing he did when he was four, of a bumblebee with a halo, still tacked to the wall.

"Oh, babies. I'm so happy you're here." She says, and she sounds totally, utterly at peace. There is no curiosity in her voice; she isn't demanding to know how the boys managed to get up here, or if they are staying, or why. She is completely content, and it brings tears to the boys' eyes.

Dean opens his mouth, though what he was about to say he isn't sure, and he is interrupted by another voice from deeper inside the house. "Mary? Sweetheart, there's tea in the-"

John cuts himself off as he walks through into the hallway, catching sight of his two sons standing there together. Dean immediately straightens, and his heart leaps a mile. "Dad?!" The boys say together, and John practically runs towards them, embracing them together.

Dean isn't sure how to react; on one hand, his heart is bursting with joy at his father's affections so readily bestowed, but on the other hand, he knows John would never have acted this way in life.

Sam just smiles as though all of his dreams have come true. "Dad, you're here!" Sam exclaims.

"And you boys are here." John says, smiling at them both in turn, again no question in his voice.

Dean is immediately suspicious, and hates himself for it. "Don't you wanna know how we got here?"

John takes a step back, still smiling, to slip an arm around Mary's waist, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Of course." John says simply, his eyes sparkling with wonder. "Come inside, tell us all about it."

Dean glances back through the open front door, at where Cas and Gabriel are waiting. "Actually," Dean says, walking towards the porch and grabbing Cas's wrist, "these guys are the reason we're here. They're Angels." Dean pulls Cas inside.

"Angels," Mary breathes, awestruck, "my goodness."

"Bring them with you boys, by all means. They brought you to us; they must be friends." John says, and turns with Mary towards the kitchen. Sam goes to grab Gabriel, but the Archangel immediately pushes past him, giving a sly wink, and marches forwards to sling his arms around the shoulders of Mary and John Winchester.

"May I just congratulate you folks on the astounding beauty of your combined gene pool?" Gabriel says, and Sam looks so horrified Dean thinks he might faint. Luckily Mary and John just laugh and continue with him into the next room.

Dean starts to follow, pulling Cas towards the kitchen, when the Angel stops him.

"Dean, you must know, we cannot stay for too long." Castiel says urgently, and Dean's brow creases. "As souls in the Heavenly Garden, they are utterly at peace. If they grow too attached to your presence again, then when you leave it could potentially be like watching you die for them. They will become restless, they will grieve you, and Heaven could cast them out."

Dean looks troubled by this news, but thinks he understands. "How long have we got?"

"No more than an hour." Castiel replies, and Dean nods.

* * *

As it turns out, John's soul was free for Heavenly transportation as soon as Azazel was killed; effectively breaking any deals the demon had ever made. Mary was able to cross over as soon as Dean and Sam returned to their old house in Lawrence, years ago - the house she loved so much that it had materialised in her own slice of paradise.

Dean nods as John talks him through the logistics of how he and Mary came to be here, a dopey smile on his face the entire time. They are sat at the kitchen table, the boys and the Angels on one side, Mary and John on the other. Dean is still feeling strange about his father and he isn't sure why, but thinks it's perhaps because he has never seen these expressions on John's face before. Or at least he can't remember seeing them.

"So, Gabriel," Mary says conversationally, her cheeks flushing slightly at the casual use of an Arachangel's name, "you're watching over my boys?"

Gabriel smiles amusedly, but hides it well, nodding in response. "Yessir. Mainly Sammy here. Got my little bro keepin' an eye on Dean-o over there."

Mary's eyebrows raise slightly and she moves her attention over to Castiel, who is chewing his lip nervously, thinking of the time. "And you are… Castiel?"

Castiel's eyes meet hers, and she gasps a little at their brilliant blue. Dean chuckles; he knows that feeling. "Yes." Cas replies.

"And you brought Dean here so that he could be with his parents for a little while?" Mary asks, her eyes curious. John stares at her adoringly.

Castiel glances over at Gabriel, which Dean thinks is a little strange, and then back to Mary. "Yes, that's right."

Mary smiles at Castiel, her eyes sparkling with tears. A warm feeling spreads through Dean, and he thinks it's because he always knew Mary would approve- would  _like_ Castiel. It makes Dean happy to know that she does.

She flicks her gaze across to Gabriel. "And you did the same for Sammy?"

Gabriel grins back at her. "Sure did. How could I refuse this one anything, eh?" Gabriel ruffles Sam's hair, much to the younger Winchester's embarrassment. Mary laughs and it sounds like bells chiming.

Mary buries her face in John's shoulder, and their father pats her lovingly as she spills a few tears. "Thankyou. Couldn't pay for that kind of love." John says, looking at both Angels in turn, and nobody quite knows what to say.

Dean looks at his parents fondly, vague memories flooding back to him from early childhood; seeing his parents cuddled together this way used to be a regular sight. He feels something tugging at his arm, and he looks down to see Castiel's worried expression, his eyes signalling that they needed to make their exit soon. He sighs and looks back over at his parents, seeing John lift Mary's tear-stained chin and kiss her.

"Right, well I guess we'd better get going." Dean says reluctantly, standing up to the relieved sigh of Cas.

John and Mary look over at the boys, all standing and preparing to leave. For a moment, Dean thinks that they will protest, but he sees the logic click into place behind their eyes, and they smile, getting up to walk them to the door.

The goodbyes are long and teary, and Dean would be lying if he said his heart didn't break upon leaving his Mother and Father's arms again, but he was pretty safe in the knowledge that he'd see them soon this time, so he put on a brave face.

"I love you, Mom." Sam murmurs quietly into his Mother's hair as she hugs him. "I know I didn't know you, but I love you so much."

When Mary breaks away she is crying again, and she tells him over and over that she loves him too, and is so proud of both of them.

Dean hugs John fiercely, in the way he always has, and John hugs back this time, telling Dean all the things he'd ever wanted to hear. Now that he hears them, he can't seem to accept it, and finds it hard to believe his father when he tells Dean how proud he is, after years of being told he was doing everything wrong.

Dean knows it's stupid to hold on to this deeply buried resentment, because John was a bitter shell of a man when he'd told Dean those things in the past, but some things are difficult to let go of. Dean knows that one day he might be able to deal with his at-peace father, but it will take time.

They leave their childhood home, knowing that they will return there someday, which is a strange feeling, as they thought they never would.

Gabriel leads them across the yard, linking his arm through Sam's and practically skipping them in a particular direction. Dean is holding Castiel's wrist again, neither of them are quite sure when it happened, and Cas knows that it's important he doesn't let go.

"So, Sammy, now that I've met your parents," Gabriel says, nudging Sam in the ribs with his elbow, "does this mean I can  _officially_ refer to you as my toy boy?"

Sam lets out a sound that's half laughter and half a squawk of protest.

Dean groans and buries his face briefly in Cas's shoulder, moving away quickly when he finds it smells way too familiar, and brings back a lot of drunken memories that are not appropriate to think about when the guy in question's hand is clasped in his -  _and when exactly did it move from wrist holding to hand holding?,_ Dean thinks.

"So, uh, where are we going now?" Dean asks Cas, trying to keep his voice low so as not to attract Gabriel's attention. He almost thinks he's got the wrong Angel when he sees Castiel's playful smile.

* * *

 

Cas lets go of Dean briefly, informing him in a solemn voice that he needs to confer with Gabriel before they continue their journey. Dean nods at him absently and drags Sam over to show him the flowerbed he'd helped their Mom plant in the front yard when he was just four years old.

"Gabriel, I'm concerned." Castiel says worriedly, and Gabriel rolls his eyes.

"Of course you are. Primary aspect of your personality I'm afraid li'l bro."

"My  _concern_  is that we will be discovered here by our brothers and sisters! I'm certain they will not take too kindly a view of us parading the intended vessels of our fallen brothers around on a backstage tour." Castiel practically spits at him, and Gabriel's eyes widen at his brother's ferocity.

"Look, if it makes you feel better we'll cut it a bit short." Gabriel consents, placing a calming hand on Castiel's shoulder. "We can split up maybe; I'm sure you won't mind having a bit of private time with Prince Charming over there."

Castiel immediately looks horrified, the blood draining from his face at the idea of him and Dean being forced to be alone up here, after everything that happened yesterday which they still haven't come to terms with. "No, wait Gabriel-"

"Sammykins!" Gabriel calls in a tone of voice that makes Sam glare, but start to make his way over anyway. Gabriel lowers his voice again, turning to Cas conspiratorially. "Meanwhile I'm gonna take Rapunzel someplace  _very_ quiet and-"

"What?" Sam interrupts them, sounding a little annoyed at being summoned like a dog. Quite rightly, Castiel thinks. He's rather sick of it himself.

Before Castiel can protest any further, Gabriel has explained to Sam that he is taking him on their first date – which makes Sam flush bright red and protest horribly of course, but obviously this has no effect on Gabriel – and then he is snapping his fingers and they're both gone.

Castiel is left in Dean's old front garden, his childhood house looming above them. He glances around for Dean, already more nervous than is reasonable. He spots him over by a strange looking contraption – the likes of which Castiel has never seen – it appears to be a length of rope attached to a tree, with the tyre of an automobile on the end. Castiel makes his way over.

"Did you um… make this?" Castiel asks, making Dean look up in surprise. He is holding the rope in one hand, his other spinning the tyre aimlessly in endless circles. "Is it some more of your childhood artwork?" Castiel flounders helplessly, he is trying to make sense of what he is seeing, and he noticed Dean's drawing in the hallway of his house earlier. "It's…lovely."

Dean is smiling when he looks up, and for a moment Castiel is pleased, he has complimented Dean's handiwork and it has made him happy. Then he realises Dean is laughing at him.

"Oh, man. Cas you're so adorable." Dean reaches out and shoves him in the shoulder, a playful gesture, Castiel has learned. "This isn't art," Dean chuckles again, moving round to stand next to Cas, "it's a swing. You know? Like, a toy for kids. You sit in here," Dean grins at Cas and begins to squeeze his legs through the hole in the tyre, sitting on the lip, "you take a running start," Dean's feet start to move quickly along the ground, propelling him forwards, "and then you swing!" Dean lifts his feet up high, letting the momentum of his propulsion send him rushing backwards, the breeze whipping past his smiling face.

For a moment, Castiel watches the Dean he knows disappear from sight, a laughing blonde boy taking his place, his green eyes sparkling in the sunshine. Then he blinks, and the little boy is gone.

"I see." Castiel smiles, because Dean is smiling, and that is what makes him happiest.

"Where'd the others go?" Dean asks, twisting himself around now so that the swing twirls him backwards in a magnificent flurry.

Castiel gulps, remembering the situation at hand. "I believe Gabriel said he wished to…" Castiel pauses, not wanting to let slip his brother's intentions and ruin the plan for both of them. "…show your brother something."

Dean snorts and starts what seems to be a complicated process of trying to wriggle out of the tyre. "Yeah, right." He says, and Castiel steps forward slightly when he almost slips and falls out. "If you ask me, that creep's got the hots for my brother."

Castiel doesn't know what to do or say, so he stays quiet, instead choosing to assist Dean in getting out by slipping his hands under his armpits and pulling gently. He is free in an instant.

When Dean is back on his own two feet he looks a little scared, and Castiel drops his hands immediately. "Thanks, Cas." Dean says croakily, and his eyes flick about, not wanting to settle on the Angel in front of him, desperately trying to hold off this imminent conversation for a little while longer. "So. This is your place, huh?"

Castiel's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "…No, Dean. This was your childhood home."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Not what I mean, smartass. This is Heaven right? Where you grew up and stuff?"

Castiel licks his lips, pondering how to answer this peculiar question, and he doesn't notice Dean's eyes tracking the movement like his life depended on it. "Technically I didn't 'grow up' in the way you did; I was born as I am now, without this vessel of course." Dean nods distractedly, eyes fixed on his mouth. "But yes, I suppose… this is my home."

Dean smiles at that, and suddenly he is slinging an arm around Castiel's shoulders, grinning down at him, and Cas thinks he might melt from the sudden attention. Dean feels warm and secure; he hopes to God that Gabriel knows what he's doing because he's starting to think he'll die if he can't be wrapped in Dean's arms on a regular basis. "Great! That's what I mean. So, you got your own room or what?"

Dean realises too late how much this sounds like a come-on.

* * *

"Gabe get  _off_!" Sam cries, batting the Archangel's hands away from his hair for the thousandth time. He is not looking forward to untangling however many braids Gabriel has managed to put in there later. "Where are we?!"

Gabriel looks around as if the place itself is only mildly interesting compared to what he has managed to grasp of Sam beneath his fingertips. "Heaven."

Sam closes his eyes and resists the urge to strangle him. "I know that.  _Where_  in Heaven?"

"My bit. Call it a hideyhole." Gabriel replies, striding out into the middle of his greatest secret, hammock still strung up where he'd left it, Jacuzzi still bubbling away. Sam looks a little uncomfortable, and shifts from foot to foot, looking around. "Fancy a dip?" Gabriel asks, nonchalant as anything, gesturing towards the hot tub sunk in the ground, steam twirling up in tendrils and disappearing into the sky.

Sam admonishes him with a look. "No, thankyou."

"Oh, come on." Gabriel says, grinning and sidling over to him. "I won't tell your big brother. I promise."

Sam splutters, and takes several steps backwards when he feels Gabriel's fingers start to tickle against the hem of his shirt, experimenting. " _Why?"_ Sam practically yells, unable to keep quiet about this anymore, and hopes nobody can hear them in this place. "Why would you want to get me into a Jacuzzi? Why would you want to get me drunk and make me pole dance for you? Why would you want to save my life and nurse me back to health- WHY Gabriel?! It makes no friggin' sense!"

Gabriel is shocked for all of five seconds, and stares at Sam wordlessly. Then he grins again, and Sam's shoulders immediately slump. "I'll make you a deal." Memories stir in Sam's brain at these words. Memories of a drunken game they'd played wherein the prize had been information that seemed important at the time. "Join me in here…" Gabriel casually walks towards the Jacuzzi a few steps away, pulling off his shirt in one fluid motion; Sam finds it difficult to breathe suddenly. "…and I'll tell you anything you wanna know."

Sam averts his eyes as Gabriel gets slowly naked-er, trying to block the image from his mind before he can have  _any_  kind of reaction to it. Was this a reasonable deal? It's not like Gabriel is a demon after all; he's an  _Angel,_  a tricky one yeah, but an Angel nonetheless. And Sam is seriously sick of feeling so in the dark about everything.

He draws in a deep breath and strips off his shirt quickly, ignoring the burn of Gabriel's eyes boring into him as he stalks over to the Jacuzzi, telling himself it's worth it. "Don't look." Sam grumbles, and when he catches Gabriel's eye, the guy looks almost predatory, a grin splitting his face. "Gabriel! Don't look!"

Gabriel sighs and turns his face away, and Sam steals the opportunity to strip off the rest of his clothes, clambering into the warm cloudy water so fast he creates a mini tsunami wave. Sam's really glad about the opacity factor of this pool.

"I honestly cannot remember what we were talking about." Gabriel says, his face sincere. Sam is starting to squirm under the heat of Gabriel's gaze. He sinks further into the water, hiding himself from view.

"Uhm, you were going to tell me why you… err…" Sam begins, not quite sure how to finish that sentence. Suddenly this feels like a really bad idea.

"Like you so much?" Gabriel finishes for him, and before Sam can even squeak in protest, Gabriel is sidling closer, shimmying up beside him in the water. He gulps, looking down into Gabriel's hungry eyes. "Do you honestly need to ask that question?"

Gabriel's eyes rake over Sam's exposed chest in a very obvious fashion, making his cheeks burn. By now they are so close to touching Sam feels like he might scream. Whether it would be a scream of protest or not is a different matter completely. "Look, Gabriel I'm serious alright? You always seemed like you hated me! And Dean! Why are you suddenly acting like you wanna…"

"Get in your pants?" Gabriel finishes for him again, and another memory wakes in the back of Sam's mind, suddenly sending it all flooding back to him in full force. The bet, Gabriel confessing that he and Cas were plotting together… that he'd been after Sam from the start…

Gabriel has a knowing expression on his face when Sam's mind travels back to the present – and where did he get that glass of champagne from? Sam looks to his right and finds there is one waiting for him too. "Will you stop finishing my sentences?" Is all Sam can think of to say.

Gabriel raises one eyebrow and drains his flute. "I like you cause you're good, but also bad, and you get away with it," Gabriel says, and when he trails one finger down Sam's bare chest, Sam lets it happen for some reason, "you're all self-sacrificing and messed up, yet for some reason Dean gets all the pity," Gabriel continues, his eyes following his finger around the contours of Sam's pectoral muscles; "you're deadly and dangerous," Sam's breath hitches, "and good and smart," Sam grabs Gabriel's hand before it travels under the water, clutching it tightly, "and Sam," Gabriel says, his gaze sliding up to meet his again, a slow smirk spreading across his lips that Sam finds extremely distracting, "you're really,  _really_  hot."

Sam let's out a strangled sound and yanks him forwards by his arm, loving that he doesn't have to worry about hurting Gabriel even though he's so small. He crushes their lips together, frenzied suddenly, unable to control himself despite everything screaming at him, telling him this is probably a bad idea. It feels wild and dangerous to have Gabriel's tongue twining with his, to feel the warm, wet slide of his presumably naked body underneath his hands. The vaguely familiar fiery taste of Gabriel fills his senses, swallowing down any doubts he could have had. He doesn't resist when he feels the Angel climbing into his lap, straddling him, pushing him back against the edge of the pool and licking his way inside his mouth.

Sam has to break away a little, has to  _breathe_ because he barely knows what's happening, he is fleetingly reminded of his first kiss with Ruby, the loss of control, the exhilaration he felt, but in a flash it's gone, and it's only Gabriel,  _Gabriel_ mouthing an enthusiastic line of nibbling kisses along his jaw, sucking marks into the heat-softened skin of his neck until he's gasping and pulling him closer. He feels Gabriel's lips smiling against him, and it's  _wonderful._

* * *

"I don't have 'my own room' as you put it." Castiel says, and Dean blushes, chastising himself for such flirtatious phrasing. Why won't he put his damn trenchcoat back on? It was much easier for Dean to pretend he was hideous or covered in scales underneath it; now that he's strutting around in a so-white-it's-practically-see-through shirt that clings to his lithe little body, Dean isn't surprised he is unable to keep his flirting in check. "But this is where I like to come when I'm… home."

Dean looks around him, drinking in the spacious garden he is standing in hungrily. Cas's favourite place? His home? Dean wants to memorise every goddamn plant. ...For some reason. "It's…" Dean smiles, glancing back at Cas, who's looking a little apprehensive, perhaps worried that Dean won't like it. "…it's beautiful, Cas."

Cas smiles, and looks down at the grass beneath his shoes. "I didn't create it. It belongs to an autistic man; he is fond of flying kites."

Dean grins, and when he looks up at the startlingly bright sky, he thinks he can see a red kite in the distance. "He's got good taste. Can't wait to see what my Heaven ends up lookin' like."

Castiel's expression darkens and he strides over to Dean, grasping him by the shoulder – the same shoulder where a handprint mark is burnt onto his flesh, reminding Dean every day of who dragged him out of the darkest pits of Hell. "Dean, you are never to think such things." Castiel says, his face too close for Dean to be able to breathe properly. "I know you are put through too much, I hate it, I have already told you that I would do anything for you not to have to go through the pain that you do," Dean's eyebrows furrow, and he can only stand there, dumbfounded and trying not to think anything inappropriate while Cas lays into him, "but I am here, Dean. I am not going to leave you here alone; you will not end your life before it is time, I couldn't bear it."

Castiel's cosmically brilliant eyes bore into his for a few more seconds, and then he breaks his gaze, turning away from Dean and letting go, hiding his expression. "Cas, I didn't mean-"

"It's not of import." Castiel dismisses, but he is still turned away.

Dean's lips press together, suddenly infuriated and not sure why; he's just sick of  _not saying_ stuff, and he grabs Cas by the shoulder, spinning him back around so that they're face to face. "Is that why you're doing all this weirdo crap lately?"

Castiel stays quiet, but his face betrays him; there is a flicker of fear in his eyes, fear he's been caught out. "I don't know what you're-"

"Hanging round all the time, 'keeping promises' – what the hell was that about – getting me drunk and- and-"

Castiel's eyes widen in anticipation of the incoming accusation – is Dean going to say it out loud at last? Acknowledge their indiscretion? Neither one of them says anything; Dean's wildly gesturing hands are still suspended in mid-air. He's crowded into Cas's personal space in an attempt to intimidate the truth out of him, but it seems to have backfired, because all he can do now is remain in this strange limbo, caught again in Castiel's eyes.

 _Oh, fuck it,_ he thinks.

His arms come down from where they're hung limply in the air, wrapping around Castiel's neck like a possessive python. He drags Castiel forwards until their lips are finally touching, and he can  _taste_ Castiel's shock at the sudden change of events. He doesn't let up though, and revels in the feeling of remembering how the Angel's lips mould to his, so soft and so beautifully warm. He runs his fingers through the tresses of Cas's hair again, because he doesn't believe his own drink-addled memories; no one's hair can feel that soft, surely, but of course it does, and he knows he won't ever be able to let go.

It takes a few seconds, but eventually Cas seems to realise what is happening, and in that instant he lets out a whimper that sends blood rushing straight to Dean's groin. The Angel's hands slide up Dean's chest, his fingers twisting in the material of his shirt and pulling him closer, as if he's worried he will move away. He moves his lips with Dean's, trying to copy his movements, and Dean responds eagerly, opening Cas's mouth with his, and cupping the back of his head so he can push his tongue inside. He feels overcome with desire, suddenly needing everything of Cas right now, because he feels like he's waited years.

He forces himself to take a breath, to lean away from Cas a little, their foreheads touching, and staring, his pupils blown wide, into Cas's endless eyes. "Yeah... I don't really give a damn why you've been acting weird. Keep acting weird, Cas." He kisses him quickly. "Seriously, anytime."

Castiel can't seem to stop smiling – and if that isn't just the most kissable thing, then Dean will be damned.


	5. The Fifth Way To Court A Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is sick of Sam ignoring him, and he suspects Castiel is having similar problems with Dean. Together, they're sure they can concoct a plan brilliant enough that both of them will get their man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very mildly sexual.

 

**  
**

Dean paces the floor, a bead of nervous sweat trickling down the back of his neck. Sam is taking his sweet time about making his way up to the bedroom, and it doesn't help with Dean's paranoia about what he thinks his little brother's reaction might be. After the little trip to Heaven, Cas and Gabriel had restored them to the epitome of health, as promised, and after a few meaningful gazes, the Angels had reluctantly left the boys alone for a while.

Dean had managed to persuade Cas while they were still in Heaven that he would need a little time to be on his own with Sam; to talk things over with the guy and ease him gently into the idea that he and Cas were… well, that they had some… confusing feelings. For each other. Apparently. Dean was refusing to delve further into that whole mess of tangled up thoughts and emotions; admitting that much had been a big step in his opinion. Apparently Gabe had decided Sammy needed some alone-time too, because he'd seemed fine with being dragged away by Cas, presumably back to Heaven to discuss whatever it was that those two discussed now – which Dean still finds really weird by the way.

So after he'd downed a couple of much-needed beers and psyched himself up in the bathroom mirror for about an hour, Dean had stormed into Bobby's study where the old hunter and his little brother were sat huddled over some ridiculously dull book on high-ranking demons, and demanded the private counsel of an extremely alarmed looking Sammy, who agreed and said he'd be upstairs in a minute.

So now Dean paces, waiting for the heavy footfall of his brother making his way up the stairs and wondering how he's going to break the news that he's apparently got a recently found, very heavy, kinda overwhelming crush on his best Angel friend.

He doesn't have to wait long, and soon Sam is strolling in to the guest bedroom, his face a mildly amused, yet indulgent smirk. Dean decides it's best to just spit it out. He gestures vaguely towards the bed, indicating that Sam should sit down, which he does, and paces for a few more moments before turning dramatically and staring his brother in the eye.

"Sam, me and Cas, I think we're… a… a thing. Like a coupley thing." Dean blurts, and finds he has to look to the space just to the right of Sam, avoiding his eye. "Not that we're a couple, cause I don't think I'm quite there yet, but at the club the other night, and yesterday in Heaven we kissed – like a lot, and I don't know what it means but I think I might kinda love him or something- shit, that's scary I don't know- and he's so awkward and adorable but self-sacrificing and beautiful I just… I…"

Dean trails off, and when he focuses back on Sam, his brother is looking a little shocked at the onslaught of information he just received. Then he grins, and actually starts chuckling quietly. Dean stops, running back over everything he just said, and though it's all embarrassing as hell, it surely doesn't warrant Sam laughing at him like he's the village idiot.

"Dude, shut up!" Dean cries, indignant. Sam just laughs harder, flopping back on the bed and resting his hands on his shaking stomach. Dean edges closer to him, mildly concerned.

"Oh my God." Sam groans, still laughing quietly, and Dean just stares, dumbfounded. Okay, he'd expected some kind of freak out from Sam upon hearing the news – but this was a little strange. Sam doesn't even seem to be laughing at him in particular, more like his own private joke that he's only just become aware of. It's a little worrying to say the least. "Dean, it's okay. I mean... I kinda suspected anyway."

Dean's mouth falls open a little wider, about to protest but no words are coming out. Sam apparently realises he needs to respond to Dean's little outburst in some way other than laughter, so he sits up, looking at Dean with as much sincerity as he can muster given that he's still half-giggling.

"You and Cas… you've got this thing. Like, this weird, connected energy; it's creepy to be around." Sam says, and he shifts, sliding his hands behind him so he can prop himself up on the bed by his elbows. "I doubt you guys even know how much you stare at each other." Sam chuckles again as Dean blushes, looking away. He'd thought that he wasn't that transparent.

"Oh for Christ's sake Sammy, what's so damn funny?" Dean asks, annoyance lacing his voice in an attempt to mask his embarrassment at the entire situation. Sam laughs again at this, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. Dean raises his eyebrows, mentally dialling the asylum for help.

"We are, Dean!" Sam replies loudly, his gaze fixing back on his brother. "God, I can't believe they played us!" Dean is so confused by now that he's considering threatening to shave Sam's head unless he elaborates.

"What the hell are you talking about, man?"

Sam remembers his promise to Gabriel, a couple of nights ago in a hazy liquor-coated club, the lights shimmering around the Archangel as he stared into Sammy's soul, begging him not to breathe a word to Dean, for fear his baby brother would lose everything. Hey, if anyone could appreciate the bonds of brotherhood it was Sam Winchester. He decides to distract Dean from this current train of conversation by changing tack. "Dean, if we're confessing… then I guess you can call me and Gabe a 'coupley thing' too."

Sam thinks that, on the whole, Dean's reaction to that particular slice of information is completely worth everything he's been through up to this point. Including the nutcracker.

Dean goes through several emotions; all of which are visible on his face. The first is scepticism, thinking Sam is joking, messing him around, making fun of his own ridiculous ability to get involved with an Angel of the Lord, and so he rolls his eyes, smirking a little before it dawns on him. Sam's unblinking gaze is a big clue towards his sincerity.

The second is fury, and Dean's face lights up from within, his eyes blowing wide until he practically snarls.

"That little douchebag! I'm gonna mess that guy up, fucking hell, what did he do to you, Sammy?!"

Sam just shakes his head slowly, a smile on his lips as he watches the show. The anger seeps out of Dean's body upon seeing that his brother appears to be completely fine with the entire situation, Dean would even go as far as saying Sam looks happy right now. And that can only be Gabriel's influence. Dean's final stage seems to be acceptance, although it is with a certain amount of stubborn reluctance, and he settles a little, sitting beside Sam on the bed.

"I fucking knew he had the hots for you."

Sam hides his grin behind his hand. Yeah, well Gabe wasn't exactly discreet about it was he?

 

* * *

"Sooo." Gabriel says, flopping onto the billowing hammock like a dead weight, the ropes securing it straining under the sudden heaviness. They've just returned to what Gabriel has dubbed 'HQ' after the little Heavenly trip with the Winchesters. "Get anywhere then, my little protégée?"

Castiel rolls his eyes and saunters over to the hammock, clambering in alongside Gabriel and sitting cross-legged at one end. He thinks about everything that has just occurred, finally allowing the feelings of utter joy and pure unrestrained love wash over him. Dean. He allows a small smile to caress his lips. "Dean kissed me."

Castiel is so alarmed by the sudden whoop of joy that comes out Gabriel's mouth that he feels his Grace start to pool together, beginning to form his Angel blade – an instinctive reaction. "Gabriel! Keep your voice down. We've caused enough disturbance in Heaven over the last day, if we upset the realm anymore we could be discovered."

Gabriel isn't listening, he's too busy shouting "Hallelujah!", and singing Taylor Swift songs – substituting Dean and Cas's names of course.

"What about you?!" Castiel cries, loud enough to drown out Gabriel's horrendous rendition of 'Love Story' – "Dean'll be the Prince, and Cas'll be the Princess, it's a love story baby just say YES" – "Did you get anywhere with Sam?"

Gabriel cuts off mid-lyric, much to Castiel's relief, and grins widely. Castiel is a little concerned to be on the receiving end of such a grin for a moment, but then Gabriel winks suggestively. "I don't kiss and tell, Cassy. Unlike some people apparently."

"I-I didn't know such a rule existed about not telling after you've kissed-" Castiel begins, but Gabriel shushes him, sitting up suddenly and gripping him by the biceps.

"Okay, Cas. We're not dilly-dallying in the minor leagues anymore, this is big-time now. We've hooked them, now we gotta reel them in, you get me?" Gabriel says, leaning in close to Cas to try and make him understand.

"Not even remotely." Castiel replies, his mind a flurry of fishing references and confusion at Gabriel's metaphor.

Gabriel sighs. "We've got one more stage of the plan left, capiche?"

Castiel smiles and looks down at his lap bashfully. "Dean says 'capiche'."

Gabriel's eyes shoot skyward. "Oh man, you've got it bad." Gabriel snaps his fingers a few times in front of Castiel's face in an attempt to grab the younger Angel's attention again. "Focus, Cas. Last part of the plan, last step to securing that gorgeous piece of man candy for yourself – sure you can squeeze a kiss out of him now, but if we do this last bit right, you could have him drooling all over you, Cas! You can have him eating out of the palm of your hand – calling you up when he's lonely, begging to be the little spoon, the whole shebang!"

Castiel contemplates his brother's words, eyebrows knitted. He cocks his head. "Why would Dean wish to be a spoon?"

Gabriel lets his head droop in exasperation. He takes a deep breath and wills himself to persevere. "Cas, if we get this right, and you get him to realise how in love you two are, and how perfect you'll be together, I'm betting he's never gonna let you go."

It takes a few moments, but eventually Gabriel is watching the slow spread of a smile worm its way across his brother's face. In Gabe's books, this is an agreement written in blood. "It would be nice to have Dean call me when he's lonely. I would keep him company whenever he wished."

"Whatever." Gabriel smiles, silently thinking of all the perks this last part of the plan could bring about for him and Sammy. Having Sam Winchester eating out of the palm of his hand would certainly be something Gabriel is interested in, and he knows that he and Cas can pull it off. After all, they've got this far haven't they? "So. Fifth way to court a Winchester. Thoughts?"

Castiel looks ponderous.

* * *

 

Sam is driving back from the town's infuriatingly small library when Gabriel decides to pay him a visit. One moment Sam is staring out at the road ahead, humming a mindless tune, his mind buzzing with all of the information he'd just dug up on the local disappearances over the past few years, when there is suddenly an Archangel casually reclining in the seat beside him. He makes a startled sound and swerves violently, not as used to Angels popping up while he's driving as Dean is, and drags the Impala off the road into a deserted layby overgrown with trees.

"Jesus Christ!" Sam yells once he's slowed to a stop, his heart hammering wildly.

Gabriel doesn't seem particularly concerned by what has just occurred, and he immediately shimmies over towards Sam, unclamping the man's hands from the steering wheel and hooking them around his neck. "Actually no, I'm  _Gabriel."_ He says, leaning forwards until Sam can feel his warm breath against his ear. "You do need to get my name right cutie, you might need it later."

Sam splutters and pushes against Gabriel's shoulders weakly, though he can't deny that his thoughts aren't exactly innocent right now, what with Gabriel's hands starting to slide their way through the holes between the buttons of his shirt.

"Gabe, what…" Sam trails off, distracted by Gabriel pressing his lips to the area just below his ear. "We nearly crashed…"

"Shh, baby." Gabriel says, placing a delicate finger over Sam's lips as he continues to plant kisses down his throat, teeth scraping against his collarbone. "I would never let that happen."

Sam is torn. He's managed to resist the urges so far, but his entire body is telling him to haul Gabriel onto his lap again, grind against him, thread his fingers into his hair and kiss him for all he's worth, but he knows it's too fast. Something is wrong, but he can't quite figure out what – it's why he stopped the session that was getting a little too steamy back in that Jacuzzi.

Gabriel is driving him crazy, and he's come to terms with the fact that when he's around the guy, there is going to be this animalistic urge to just let him have his way, but he needs to  _know_ certain things before he can just shut his brain off. Sure, Gabriel had listed a bunch of reasons why he was so interested in Sam, but what did that mean? What exactly was he expecting from this whole endeavour? A relationship? Is that what Cas wants with Dean too?

"Gabriel, wait!" Sam chokes out, hating himself so much that he has to physically bite down on his own finger to stop himself from cursing aloud. Gabriel's hazel eyes, the only bright things in the dark Impala interior in the early evening, flick up to Sam's, curious and amused. His hands have stopped their journey downwards, having managed to undo the majority of Sam's buttons in an impressively short space of time. "Just… I mean, did you have something… you wanna tell me?"

Gabriel says nothing for a few moments, and for several long seconds there is just the sound of cars racing past on the nearby stretch of highway they have just come off of, their lights briefly illuminating both their faces for a moment and then rushing away. At length Gabriel leans back, and in the dark Sam has physically restrain himself from telling Gabriel he didn't mean it, leaning over and ripping his shirt off.

Sam is busy staring at Gabriel's lips, barely visible in the dark, looking so deliciously kissable when he hears him chuckle. "Y'know, I can read your thoughts Sammy." Sam immediately flushes beetroot and thinks about driving away, or maybe even just saying to hell with it and letting Gabriel do whatever the hell he wants regardless of his ulterior motives, but before he can react properly, Gabriel is continuing. "As a matter of fact, I did have something to tell you."

But Sam is distracted now; the setting is too intimate, Gabriel is too close. He can feel the warmth radiating between them, he can smell the nectarous, peppery fragrance that emanates from the Angel in waves. How is he supposed to be able to focus on what he's saying? Sam licks his lips, his breathing speeding up as he peers at Gabriel through the gloom. He's gripping the upholstery of the seat in an attempt to stop himself reaching out, but the fact that Gabriel seems to  _know_ how he is feeling is not helping things. "Oh yeah?" Sam manages to squeak, wondering how this guy is managing to have such an effect on him.

Gabriel smiles, and locking eyes with Sam, stretches upwards, reaching his arms over his head into the looming blackness of the backseat, his shirt riding up and exposing a strip of creamy midriff that Sam immediately wants to taste. His throat tendons protrude as he tilts his head back, exposing a strip of stubble otherwise invisible to the naked eye. Sam hears him let out a breathy sound of relaxed pleasure as he reaches the peak of his stretch, and he's helpless, practically lunging at him, sealing their lips with a kiss and pushing him backwards until he's underneath him on the seat, laughing at Sam's sudden eagerness, and responding by pulling him closer.

"Tell me," Sam prompts, smiling against Gabriel's lips.

Gabriel laughs and appears to try and respond, but Sam swallows whatever he was about to say by pushing his tongue inside Gabriel's mouth and just tasting the addictive spice, feeling the familiar warm electricity thrumming through him as Gabriel twines their tongues together. Sam mentally notes that Archangelic kisses are  _awesome._ "I was gonna say," Gabriel manages to get out before he cuts himself off with a moan as Sam's hips push against his,their crotches rubbing against one another, the friction unbearable in the cramped, hot space of the car, "holy  _hell_ Sammy, you're so mischievous – I was  _gonna say_ that me and Cas have one more surprise for you."

Sam breaks away from where he's currently sucking an impressive mark onto Gabriel's neck, suddenly curious. "What is it?" Sam asks, his lips damp with saliva.

Gabriel takes the break in kissing as an opportunity to change positions, and taking full advantage of his Archangelic strength, he flips Sam over, landing on top of the younger Winchester before he can blink. Sam looks extremely annoyed at this sudden change, attempting to wrestle Gabriel valiantly to restore some authority – to no avail of course. "We're taking you on vay-cay!"

Sam stares up at him, wondering how he's managed to get into this position with this guy.

* * *

Castiel has been watching Dean for over twenty minutes now. It's not that he's scared or anything, of course. Dean Winchester is, after all, just a man. Castiel is an Angel, therefore he is obviously not afraid of confronting Dean following the events of yesterday. I mean, it's not like Dean is the type of person who could immediately change his mind about everything and claim that kissing Castiel had been a huge mistake on his part, breaking Castiel's heart, is it?

Okay, so maybe Castiel is a little nervous. He sighs, willing himself to gather together the courage to remove the cloak currently rendering him invisible to Dean, who is currently reclined on his motel bed, drinking a beer and watching some human hospital soap opera wherein the doctors seem fond of kissing each other and crying. Gabriel is probably telling Sam about the plan right now, Castiel thinks sadly, staring at Dean's oblivious form as he takes another sip of beer.

Something dramatic is happening on the television now; Castiel isn't looking, his eyes are fixed on Dean, but he can tell from the way Dean reacts, shoulders tensing, eyes wide, mouth of the bottle caught between his stretched lips. Castiel's gaze lingers here, on the moistened, slightly red lips around the bottle, remembering how they felt pressed against his own, how he could taste Dean's sweet, tangy flavour that danced across his tongue like tiny fizzing stars.

Dean removes the bottle, breathing out slowly, apparently having survived whatever dramatic event just occurred on 'Dr Sexy M.D'. Castiel decides he really needs to suck it up. Gabriel and Sam will be back soon he is sure, and though of course Sam would be understanding, Gabriel would undoubtedly be unbearable if he found out that Cas had abstained from even  _talking_ to Dean, let alone revealing stage five of the plan.

Before he can let himself think it through any further, Castiel squeezes his eyes shut and removes the cloak, forgetting that he is standing directly in front of the television screen, so Dean immediately jumps out of his skin, sending the bottle flying from his fingertips as he yelps in surprise.

The two of them stare at each other for a few moments, Dean obviously trying to recover from a near-heart attack. Castiel looks apologetic, and then Dean starts laughing. It's slightly hysterical, given that he'd just been scared witless, but he's amused, and it makes Cas smile.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel says, moving several steps to the left to allow Dean to continue watching his show, but Dean reaches for the remote and switches it off.

"Jeez Cas, one day you are one sneaky motherfucker." Dean chuckles, pinching his partially soaked shirt between his fingers and looking at it intently.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Forget it, man. I need to wash this shirt anyway." Dean replies before he can finish, because Dean doesn't like Cas chastising himself all the time for things that aren't really his fault. Dean smiles at him, genuinely happy to see the guy. "Good to see you."

"You as well, Dean." Cas replies almost instantaneously, and has to look away because Dean is looking at him like he's some kind of Messiah. "I have… something to tell you."

Dean raises his eyebrows, and grins, sitting up a little so that Cas can see he has his full attention. He's a little distressed though, he's been having… what he has to liken to withdrawal symptoms since the Heaven trip. If there's one thing he's learnt – more like begrudgingly accepted – it's that nothing can compare to the feel of Castiel's gorgeously silky hair between his fingers.

He needs that shit. Like, five minutes ago.

"Cool, could you maybe, uh," Dean shimmies forwards a little on the bed, noticing Castiel's wide-eyed expression with interest, "come tell me over here?"

Dean reaches out towards him, not quite sure how he wants Cas, just that he needs him closer, because if there's one thing they've spent a lot of time not-quite-but-almost doing, it's kissing, and it's very important to Dean that they make up for lost time. Soon.

Castiel, for his part, seems a little confused, and a lot nervous, so Dean helps out a little, smirking and scooting further forwards until he's kneeling on the bed before where Cas is standing, and looking up into some very blue eyes. Dean carefully places his hands on Cas's waist, thinking this is turning into an episode of 'Dr Sexy' really fast, and he can feel how the Angel's body is trembling beneath his thin shirt as he leans closer.

Their faces are close now, and Dean tries not to swallow, or make any sudden movements, as if Cas is a bird that could be startled and fly away. He moves forwards, brushing his lips ever-so-slightly against Cas's, and then he gently leans back until he's sitting on the bed again, grinning a little as Cas whimpers in protest, and tugs on Cas's waist, urging him to follow. Cas does so, immediately as if summoned, kneeling on the bed himself now so that he is still towering above Dean. Dean tugs his waist again and that seems to be the only encouragement Cas needs, because in moments Cas is grasping him around the back of the head, nuzzling into his cheek like a small fluffy kitten. It makes Dean chuckle and stroke a hand through his hair. He moves his hand to Cas's chin and carefully tilts his face upwards, angling him so that he can finally kiss the guy, which is what he's been wanting to do since the last second their lips left each other.

Cas seems to feel similarly because he is suddenly extremely on board, pressing his forehead against Dean's eagerly, and breathing in as the other man exhales. Their lips are millimetres apart when Gabriel throws the door wide open, Sam sauntering casually in behind, grinning in a way that Dean immediately knows means he and Gabriel made out in the Impala.

"Gross guys, not in my baby." Dean says, sounding far more pissed off than usual seeing as he has to pull away from a desperately needed almost-kiss with his favourite Angel to compensate for their brother's currently unscarred eyes walking in the door. "This better be important."

"Cassy! You minx! Didn't think you had it in you." Gabriel whistles as he takes in the sight of Castiel clambering awkwardly off the bed, cheeks flushed. Dean growls at him, and shoots an 'I'll-get-him-later' look at Cas, who chuckles.

"Could you maybe not call him 'Cassy'?" Dean asks, irritated. "Bad connotations, ex-girlfriends, blah blah. Don't really wanna be reminded of that, especially now, thanks." Castiel blushes and smiles a little awkwardly, looking away. "Besides, he's  _got_ a perfectly good nickname, right  _Cas_?"

Castiel nods obediently and Dean practically glows with satisfaction. Sam is surprised he doesn't stick his tongue out at Gabriel.

"Oh for Daddy's sake Dean, I'm sure you'll live." Gabriel retorts, scoffing at his petty attempt at an argument. He goes to wrap his arm around Sam's waist, but is unable to resist the urge to give the younger Winchester's ass a squeeze, making him yelp.

"Gabe,  _stop!_ " Sam hisses, scandalised. Gabriel just laughs.

Dean scowls and rolls his eyes at them, choosing to pat the space beside him on the bed and hold his arms out as an indication for Cas to sit beside him, which the Angel does of course after a moment's hesitation, sitting rigid and cross-legged next to Dean for a moment, until Dean snakes an arm around his waist and he relaxes into it, smiling.

" _Anyway_ , the final announcement we have for you boys is – drum roll please – " Gabriel says, and an actual drum roll starts from nowhere, making everyone except Gabriel look round them in surprise for the invisible speakers. "a holiday!"

Sam looks down at Gabriel, looking sceptical. "A holiday? That's the final stage of yours and Cas's big plan to get us-"

Sam is cut off by a large piece of duct tape rolling itself over his mouth. Gabriel keeps smiling up at him, but his eyes are a warning, darting back towards where Dean is sitting, looking very confused and holding a very alarmed looking Cas. Sam nods in understanding; he's not allowed to talk about the plan in front of Dean. Right. He remembers now. Yet the duct tape stays in place.

"So yeah, a holiday!" Gabriel continues as if there had been no interruption. "We figure you deserve it after all the world-saving you guys are always doing."

"A holiday?" Dean asks, sneaking a look at Cas, who looks small and perfect beside him, smiling in contentment at being wrapped in Dean's arms. "We're in the middle of a hunt."

"Taken care of." Gabriel replies, tugging Sam's waist in closer when he hears muffled sounds coming from behind the tape. "We've got some other hunters working it for ya. I think they're further along on the research too. Sorry Sammy." Gabriel pinches Sam's ass as an apparent act of sympathy, and Sam makes an indignant squawk of protest, but it's all but lost inside the tape – which, incidentally Gabriel is growing quite fond of.

"Any particular reason you've taped my brother's mouth closed?" Dean asks, more out of genuine confusion than anything else. "I mean, I know he's annoying when he runs his mouth off but…"

"It's a fetish thing. He likes it kinky." Gabriel replies and Sam rounds on him, livid, as Dean makes disgusted puking sounds in the background. Sam is shaking Gabriel by the shoulders, gesturing wildly at the tape covering his mouth, anger in his eyes.

It takes Gabriel a few minutes to stop laughing, but when he does, he gets rid of the tape. Sam is apparently no longer speaking to him, choosing to go and sit on his own bed across the room.

"I think a holiday will be good for us all." Castiel says, a little nervously, and Dean reaches out to squeeze his hand. What? That was an adorable thing to say.

"So, I'm thinking Spain." Gabriel says, his eyes gleaming, and when everyone looks up at him, he's grown an extravagant curly moustache.

Sam sighs. "Hasta la vista, baby."

**The Fifth Way To Court A Winchester: Take Them On Holiday**

* * *

 

Dean and Sam barely have time to change into their swimming trunks and throw some basic necessities into a duffel before they find themselves ankle deep in the warm white sands of a beach on the coast of Barcelona. Dean lets out a hysterical burst of laughter the moment he lands, unable to comprehend the sight of the clear, azure Mediterranean sea stretching into the horizon before him. Being a hunter means he gets to travel a hell of a lot, yes, but he's never even left America unless you count going to Heaven and Hell, so this is all pretty amazing for both boys.

The beach itself seems pretty much deserted save for the four of them, which is surprising as it's clearly a beautiful place (though Dean suspects it's more to do with Gabriel's trickery than luck of the draw), surrounded by towering silver cliffs that glint in the sun's streaming rays, and a huge expanse of clean white sand that Dean wants to push his fingers into, soaking up its warmth.

He decides he's had enough of staring gormlessly at the sights around him, though his travelling companions seem in a similar state of awe, and he turns to grin at Sam, who is smiling in a way Dean hasn't seen in years.

"Last one in's a Wendigo." Dean says quickly, and drops his bag to the floor, stripping off his shirt quickly as he runs full pelt towards the glistening water, Sam taking a moment to catch up and follow close behind.

"Dean, you cheater!" Sam yells after him, dropping his bag next to Dean's and pulling off his own shirt. The younger Winchester watches as Dean's legs hit the water for the first time, the salty spray sent up in a burst silvery bullets as he runs. Sam grins, then stops in his tracks, turning back to the Angels that brought them here, still stood on the beach, watching. "Gabe, Cas, come on!" Sam calls, beckoning them with a frantic wave of his hands.

Gabriel smiles at him indulgently and shoos him towards the water with his hand. Sam rolls his eyes but turns back to the rushing waves eagerly, wading in towards Dean and submerging his shoulders before the water even reaches up to his waist.

Gabriel turns to Cas and grabs him by the shoulders. "This was a hell of an idea, Cas. Getting the boys wet, naked and excited? I underestimated you!"

Castiel looks immediately horrified and shakes his head frantically. "That's not what I-"

"I know, I know. I'm only joking you silly goose." Gabriel interrupts, shoving Cas on the shoulder. Cas just chews his lip nervously, returning his attention to where Dean is currently dunking Sam's head under the water. "So anyway," Gabriel continues, trying to ignore Castiel's sudden unexplained look of anxiety. He claps his hands excitedly, and suddenly both he and Cas are a lot less fully-clothed, clad only in swimming trunks, much to Castiel's dismay. "I suggest we get this party started."

"Gabriel!" Castiel cries, sounding utterly scandalised. He crosses his arms over his chest protectively, shielding his naked skin from view. "How  _dare_ you-"

"Oh will you calm down? I hardly think little Dean is going to mind-"

"Is that right?! Do you not think he will  _mind_ that these swimming shorts you've chosen for me have 'Property of Dean Winchester' embroidered across the rear?" Gabriel spins Castiel round to check the accuracy of the statement before chuckling contentedly, loving his own mind sometimes.

Castiel spins back round furiously, shoving Gabriel in the bare chest, eyes ablaze. Gabriel manages to stop laughing for a second. "Woah! Look, it was a slip of the hand alright? Calm down, I'll remove the words from your ass." Castiel looks a little more satisfied at Gabriel's words, and goes back to chewing his lip nervously. "I could remove that stick too while I'm there…"

The look Castiel fires at him is fiery enough to melt the ice caps. Gabriel sighs, smiling, and snaps his fingers, turning Castiel's shorts back to a nondescript plain black all over.

 _Some people are just intimidated by fashion,_ Gabriel thinks sadly, looking down at his own cherry red shorts, extra tight (for Sam's benefit of course).

As a passing thought, he snaps his fingers and four beach towels appear spread out by both of their feet, Sam's complete with a colourful clown pattern, because dammit he is a thoughtful romantic partner.

"So what's with the sour face, bro? You look like you're sucking lemon. Spit it out too, cause as fun as it is standing here with you, I've got me a large, muscular, wet and partially naked man in the sea over there." Gabriel says, and he looks antsy, eyes darting over to where Sam and Dean are swimming every so often, like a nervous tick.

After spending so much time around Gabriel, Cas has learnt to spot certain signs, such as when he hides his true yearnings behind crude sexual comments. Gabriel  _misses_ Sam right now. And he's only a beach apart from the guy. Cas smiles a little, watching his brother's face light up when Sam catches his eye, and waves.

"I can't come in, Gabriel. I will remain here, and look after everyone's possessions." Castiel replies, turning and sitting down on the plain blue towel on the far left of the little camp.

Gabriel sighs like he's having an internal dilemma, running his hands through his hair and casting a forlorn look out to sea before sitting down next to his brother. "Why not?"

"I-I… don't want to say." Castiel mutters, concentrating on burying his fingers in the soft sand.

"Castiel, I like to think we've become close, you and I, over the course of this scheming." Gabriel says, and Cas says nothing, but doesn't disagree. "However, if you are going to be a whiny little bitch about this _now_ when you've got Dean all wrapped up and ready, I'm going to have to do something drastic to compensate. I can't have you messing up my side of the plan either now can I?"

Castiel looks up, wide-eyed at Gabriel's sudden threat. "Something drastic?" He says, trying to sound sceptical.

"Let's just say it was generous of me to give you swim trunks  _at all._ "

Castiel gulps and looks away, ashamed. "I can't swim, Gabriel! Alright?" He chokes out, shamefaced.

"Oh for Christ's- is that all?!" Gabriel cries, and stands up suddenly, looking down at Cas like he's an idiot. "Right, that's it bro. Stay here."

Gabriel storms off towards the ocean, the sun glinting against his tanned skin, catching Sam's eye and distracting him so much that Dean seizes the opportunity to send a tidalwave of water crashing into his mesmerised face. Castiel smiles sadly, thinking Gabriel had agreed with him about needing to stay firmly on land since his swimming abilities were embarrassingly non-existent after all the years he could have spent learning.

He flops back onto his towel, enjoying the feel of his Father's beautifully made sun beating its heat against his body, warming every inch of him from head to toe. His eyes are closed against the bright light, and he smiles as the backs of his lids turn an orangey colour, stretching out his hand again until he feels the sand against his fingers. He'd been right, he did need a holiday, and he'd never had one before. This would be perfect, especially as Dean was so near.

He doesn't know how much time has passed when he feels tiny droplets fall against his skin, little pinpricks of cool relief against his sun-warmed body. He sits up, confused, thinking that Gabriel surely wouldn't allow it to rain, and squints up at whatever just blocked out the sun from view. Dean is towering over him, smiling down amusedly, dripping salt water from his chest and shoulders and hair and lips and…

Castiel forces himself to look away, blushing. "Well look at you." Dean says, flopping down onto the towel next to his, his chest rising and falling heavily after all the exertion with his brother. Castiel had been hoping he'd choose that towel. "Seems like every time I see you you're wearing less and less clothing."

Dean grins mischievously at him, and Castiel blushes harder, drawing his knees up to cover his bare chest.

"Something you're try'na tell me, Cas?" Dean asks, still grinning, evidently very happy.

Castiel shakes his head and tries not to let his eyes linger on the droplets running down Dean's throat, pooling into a place at his clavicle. "N-no, it's not… I wasn't trying to-"

"Shut up, Cas." Dean says, but he's smiling widely, and then he's leaning over, kissing the nervous, overwhelmed expression off Cas's face. Castiel wants to explode into a million stars, but of course that's physically impossible, so he pulls Dean closer instead, winding pale arms around his neck and leaning backwards until he's lying on the towel, Dean leant over him. Castiel trails his fingers through the rivulets of water running down Dean's back as his tongue slides across his bottom lip. Cas opens his mouth, letting Dean's tongue curl against his, needing more, to be even closer than they already are. It doesn't seem to matter that they're on a beach, or that Sam and Gabriel could probably see everything if they looked over, or that Dean's hair is dripping salt water against Cas's face, or that Cas's hands are leaving grains of sand on Dean's bare skin; Castiel has been waiting for this his whole life, he can feel it. He's going to allow himself to get lost in this moment.

"Dean…" Castiel breathes quietly as Dean runs a careful, questioning hand over the bare skin of Castiel's ribcage.

"Mmm?" Dean replies, smiling when Cas's eyes flutter as he dips his head, pressing his lips against the Angel's collarbone.

It's unbearably hot; the sun is beating mercilessly down on them both, and Dean's already unsure if his damp skin is from the sea or his own sweat. Castiel's trembling hands search blindly for Dean's face, and they capture Dean's jaw, pulling him up so that they can stare into each other's eyes - something Dean finds endlessly amusing, because apparently Cas doesn't get tired of that  _ever._

"Dean, you're beautiful." Castiel whispers over the sound of the waves crashing nearby. He traces a knuckle over Dean's cheekbone, and his lips move, counting the freckles.

Dean stills, his elbows either side of Castiel's head, staring down into the galaxies he can see in the Angel's eyes. He doesn't know how to respond; after all, he seems to spend half of his life nowadays marvelling at how beautiful the Angel underneath him is, their heat flushed skin pressed together through a layer of salt and sea. Castiel is the most beautiful person he's ever known, inside and out. Him telling Dean that  _he's_ the beauty in this pairing is to him like the friggin Chrysler Building calling someone tall.

No, Dean has absolutely no idea how to respond to Cas.

So he kisses him instead.

* * *

"Hey!" Sam yells, sending a wave of water crashing against Gabriel as he turns to look. He's pouting like a child. "You just sent away my playmate!"

Gabriel raises an eyebrow, smirking at Sam and taking a moment to appraise the sight of what's visible of his dripping wet torso, Sam's long slicked hair plastered to his scalp. Gabriel swims closer,  _much_  closer, and Sam looks a little wary. "Aw, don't be sad Sammy. My brother needed your brother to give him a little attention. He's whining about not being able to swim so I had to tell Dean to get his ass over there instead."

Gabriel's hands are suddenly pressed against Sam's chest, sliding up and feeling the dampened ripple of muscles beneath them. Sam tries to focus, tries not to let this alien urge overcome him again, but he knows it's borderline useless. Maybe one day he'll build up a bit more of an immunity to Gabriel's flirtatious, possessive touch, but that day is not today.

"Don't worry Sammy, I'll be your playmate." Gabriel intones in a low voice, and it sends all Sam's blood rushing south. His only coherent thought is  _why must we always be in water when this happens?_ , not that he's complaining exactly.

Gabriel's hands wind around his neck and Sam allows himself to wrap his arms around the Archangel's middle. Gabriel responds by pulling himself upwards and curling his legs around Sam's waist, thankfully lifted by the buoyancy of the water, though Sam knows from experience that he can hold Gabriel up when they're like this.

"This a favourite position of yours?" Sam asks, a smirk on his lips that Gabriel eyes greedily.

"My favourite positions require a lot more flexibility." Gabriel replies, pressing in closer, ensuring that their chests are flush against one another as their lips dance dangerously close. "Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough."

Before Sam can think of a witty response, which he is sure he would have done, Gabriel is kissing him, his lips tasting of salt as he pushes against Sam's insistently, his legs tightening around the larger man's waist. Sam splays his hands across Gabriel's back, sliding up over his shoulder blades and neck until they're tangled in his hair. Gabriel makes a stifled sort of noise at that, like a moan he didn't mean to let escape, and he breaks off for a moment, checking Sam's reaction.

Sam grins, hopelessly amused that he's found out that of  _course_ Gabriel likes it when people play with his hair, that's why he's always doing it to Sam. Gabriel sees the glint in his eye and gives him a ferocious look, which immediately crumples to something like ecstasy when Sam's fingers rake across his scalp, twisting themselves into knots in the dripping tresses where they're currently entangled.

Gabriel growls at him, and launches himself back at Sam's laughing mouth, his legs still wrapped firmly around the young Winchester's waist. His fingers dig into Sam's shoulders hard enough to make him gasp, and Gabriel uses this as an opportunity to push his tongue inside Sam's mouth, tracing along his bottom teeth, kissing him messily and hungrily. He sucks gently on his lower lip, teeth nibbling the sensitive skin until he realises Sam is whimpering again, his hands tugging at the roots of his hair, which is not helping the overwhelming urge to snap them somewhere a lot more private.

He breaks off, leaning back a little to look into Sam's eyes, filled with want, and he can't stop himself from leaning forwards and marking the dampened, salty skin of Sam's exposed neck with his mouth, the flesh turning a beautiful crimson as he moves his lips away.

"You, uh, you wanna get outta here?" Gabriel breathes as Sam leans in, trying to find his lips again, but Gabriel moves his head to the side, letting Sam mouth at his jawline instead. He feels Sam nodding frantically, and he curses bad planning for what he knows is about to happen. But it will be worth it, he's sure. "C'mon, we gotta get the others."

Sam looks up, fingers leaving his hair at last, and Gabriel breathes a sigh of relief. "Fuck." Sam grits out.

"Yeah, I know, but they're not gonna be happy if we leave them on a random-ass beach in the middle of Spain." Gabriel replies to Sam's succinct summary of both their current feelings.

"It's worth it." Sam says firmly after a moment, before nodding once, and starts to make his way purposefully out of the sea, pulling a pleased-looking Gabriel behind him. They're almost to the shore when Sam turns, a confused disbelief on his face. "Gabe... have you got the words 'Property Of Sam Winchester' written on your ass?"

Gabriel spins around, exposing the gold, glittery words to the entire beach and looking over his shoulder, feigning surprise. "Well, whaddya know!"

Sam is too stunned to speak for a moment, but then he smiles, and if Gabriel didn't know better he'd say it looked predatory.

* * *

Dean threads his fingers through Cas's hair, still leaning over him, trying and failing to fight the urge to periodically kiss the Angel's pink, chapped lips. Cas's hands are exploring, and it's getting very distracting, though Dean is trying not to react too much because he suspects Cas isn't aware of the effect he's having. His fingers are currently tracing the curve of Dean's hipbones, and while it's extremely pleasant, Dean is pretty sure his eyes are going to start watering if he has to fight the urge to shove Cas's hand down his shorts any longer.

It's that moment that Cas decides to push his experimentation to the limit – well,  _Dean's_ limit – and moves one of his wandering hands down until he's ghosting over the thin, sodden fabric covering Dean's cock. Dean can't help it, he moans at the small touch, closing his eyes, loving that he knows it's  _Cas_ that just did that, his own Angel. Castiel freezes and Dean suddenly remembers that, oh yeah, it's  _Cas._ You know, the thousand-year-old virgin afraid of strippers?

His eyes fly open and meet Cas's, round and astonished at the noise Dean just made.

"Cas I…" Dean begins, and two shadows fall over them, making them look up, surprised.

"Well, well. Isn't this just fifty shades of debauchery?" Gabriel says cheerily, sending Cas a merry wink as he lays frozen underneath Dean, his hands moving quickly up to the innocent skin of Dean's biceps.

Dean rolls back onto his towel with a sigh, glad that the sight of his little brother's horrified face can always get rid of his boners. "Screw off, Gabriel." Dean replies breezily, resting his arms behind his head. "Like I didn't see you molesting my little brother out there?"

Gabriel grins, clearly not worried about denying anything, though Sam lets a guilty flush caress his cheeks. "Listen up Rom and Jules, we're leaving."

Dean furrows his brow in confusion and sits up, propping himself on his elbows. "Huh? We just got here!"

Sam fidgets uncomfortably, and Dean watches him with a wary eye. Gabriel notices Dean's suspicious glare and he wraps an arm around Sam's waist protectively, pulling him in. When Sam doesn't protest in the slightest, choosing instead to wrap his arm around Gabriel's shoulders, Dean suddenly gets it.

"Oh right, I get it." Dean mutters, pulling a face and shuddering. "Motel time?"

"Dean please. What do you take me for?" Gabriel replies, and there is a moment where he is distracted, appearing to be in silent conversation with Cas, still sprawled on his towel looking dishevelled from Dean's lips and fingers. Cas looks suddenly terrified. "It's a  _hotel_ obviously. I'm not a cheapskate."

Dean snorts. "Right. Did you pay?"

Gabriel grins, saying nothing. Dean watches warily as he snaps his fingers, and braces himself for what's about to happen.

* * *

Dean had assumed that he'd have to take Cas out to a bar or something for a few hours, to kill the time while Sam and Gabe had… well. He wasn't thinking about that. Hell, that was the arrangement he'd had with Sam for years if either one of them had hooked up. Give the other one four hours max alone in the room, and then come back later, pretending he knew none the wiser.

He guesses he should have known really, that considering the life he and Sam share isn't exactly a normal one by society's standards, that the same rules wouldn't apply during something like, well, a holiday.

Castiel, for his part, is seething when Gabriel reveals that he's booked them two separate rooms. "What were you  _thinking_ Gabriel?!" Castiel hisses at him once he's dragged him aside in the hotel lobby after the big reveal. "Could you  _be_ more obvious about this?"

Gabriel just looks at Cas, tired of him overreacting to every damn thing. This holiday was his idea after all. "What the hell do you think they're  _expecting,_ Cassy?" Gabriel replies, looking over at Sam who is staring at him murderously for taking so long. Gabriel chuckles at the sight. "I think it'd be pretty obvious to most people by now that you aren't exactly adverse to getting in Dean's pants. I for one would rather not have to sleep  _in the same room_ as you and that sex maniac once you strip off your awkwardness and get your hands on each other."

Castiel's shoulders droop, the loose fitting sky blue t-shirt Gabriel snapped up for Cas hanging off his shoulder in a way that makes him appear young and lost. "I'm… I'm afraid, Gabriel."

Gabriel looks Heavenward, praying for strength despite the fact he can  _see_ Sam in the corner of his eye, chewing his lip and practically begging to be taken somewhere and ravished. "Cas, he loves you. An idiot could tell that much." Castiel's eyes glance down shyly, until the only things visible are two slivers of blue obscured by thick black lashes. "Pretty sure you two were made for each other. There's nothing to be scared of. Go get him, tiger." Gabriel gives Castiel a departing pat on the shoulder before hurrying over towards Sam, dangling the key to their room in front of his face and being promptly dragged off down a marble floored hallway.

Castiel takes a deep breath, and walks over towards Dean, who has the key to their own room held in his hands, fumbling with it nervously. He looks up when Cas approaches.

"Hey," Dean says, a smile stretching across his face when he sees Cas's thin frame drenched in blue t-shirt. It reminds him of the trenchcoat, still neatly folded in Bobby's hall closet back home. "So, uh, I guess we should…" Dean's cheeks colour a little, his gaze dropping to the key in his hand. "…check out our room?"

Dean waits, not even breathing, for Cas to reply. When he looks up, Cas nods, and Dean suddenly lets out a chuckle, because Cas looks so goddamn scared, but he's still saying yes because that's how devoted he is to Dean, and on a good day, Dean can't understand why. "Aw, Cas. C'mere." Dean reaches towards him, pulling him into the safety of his arms by tugging on the fabric of the shirt Dean is really starting to like.

Cas makes a contented noise when Dean's arms encircle him, and Dean chuckles again, shaking his head. He suddenly realises how stupid this all is, and it's probably Gabriel's fault, because most things are, and Cas is perfect, just like this. So Dean bends down a little until his mouth his level with Cas's ear, not caring if any of the snobby European tourists in the spacious, plant-filled lobby want to get a good look at them.

"Cas," he whispers, and Cas nods to show he is listening, "listen, we don't have to do anything. We can just hang out, okay? No pressure, buddy."

Castiel leans back out of Dean's embrace, and his expression is one of awe. He wonders how it is that Dean could have been through so much pain and heartbreak, and yet be still so filled with compassion. He shakes his head at Dean, smiling. "Thankyou." He whispers back, and Dean smiles and squeezes his arm.

Dean leads them down the sparsely decorated corridor dotted with deep oak doors on both sides. They have to travel up three flights of stairs, but neither of them mind particularly, and Dean races Cas up the last one, and pretends that he  _let_ him win.

They find their room at last, and Dean throws open the door, suddenly in a ridiculously good mood, and why shouldn't he be? He's on holiday dammit! The room is huge of course, and who knows how Gabriel got his paws on it, Dean is sure he doesn't want to find out. It's spacious and airy, three of the walls painted cream and one with a blue swirly wallpaper; the glass double doors to a large balcony on the far side are flung open, with two white gossamer curtains fluttering in the slight breeze. Dean immediately spots the mini fridge and the TV, along with the room service menu.

There is only one bed of course. Damn Gabriel. Not that Dean minds particularly – make that  _at all_ – he just doesn't want to freak Cas out. The bed looks beyond comfy though, it's making Dean's joints ache just looking at it; it's massive, and it's covers have a pattern that look like waves. There are more pillows than Dean can count and he wants more than anything to jump into the middle of it, pull Cas down on top of him and lose himself in the sweet, electric scent and taste of his Angel as he threads his fingers into those dark, soft tresses.

Instead, he turns to Cas, pushing the strange instance of Cas's fingers ghosting over his crotch at the beach to the back of his mind, and about to suggest they go look around the town.

Cas however, seems to have other ideas. Dean has only just opened his mouth when suddenly Cas is crowding in towards him, pressing his lips against Dean's with such fervour that he immediately falls backwards onto the bed, and  _oh_ it's so much comfier than Dean could ever have imagined. Castiel is climbing into Dean's lap despite the his legs still being draped over the edge, and Dean finds himself suddenly struggling to keep up with the Angel. Dean fights with the floaty fabric of Cas's t-shirt in an attempt to grab hold of his waist, and Cas makes an irritated sound, catching hold of Dean's hands and directing them underneath the thin blue fabric so that they're stroking against his bare skin.

"Fuck, Cas…" Dean says, eloquently against Cas's frantically moving lips, because it's an onslaught of sensations he hadn't been expecting, and while it's great that Cas is so keen to kiss him all the time, in Dean's world this would be called being a huge cocktease. Cas is merciless, and Dean can feel him smiling against his mouth as he continues the attack, tracing his tongue along his lip until Dean lets him in, marvelling again at the taste of him, ozone and electricity.

Cas slides his arm underneath Dean's back, and Dean wonders absently what he's doing, but he's so distracted by Cas's tongue twining with his, and the feel of Cas's velvet skin beneath his skimming fingers. Then he's being lifted, Cas is moving him further up the bed, with  _one fucking arm_  hooked around him and it's just about the hottest thing Dean can imagine right now, cause he always forgets that oh yeah, Cas is a super being and could potentially throw him against the wall with one hand if he were so inclined.

Dean's head comes crashing down on the multitude of pillows at the head of the bed, and Cas crawls eagerly back into place, kissing him again before he can properly assess the situation. Dean tries to think, but Cas's hips are pinning him in place, and he keeps  _moving_ in a way that's making his eyes roll back into his skull. He's really hard now, and Cas has got to be able to feel it, because he has somehow made sure he's in prime position for that. Dean's hands smooth down Cas's chest, still under the loose t-shirt, and Dean's never wanted to pull off anything more badly in his life, when suddenly a thought overwhelms him, and won't let him continue.

"Cas, wait…" Dean chokes out as Cas rains kisses down his neck, his lips so soft and full. "…do you…. do you wanna do this? I mean, are you sure?" Dean asks, hoping Cas will understand despite his incoherence. He needs to be sure before he can let himself do everything he desperately wants to Cas; hell, the Angel seemed a little reluctant down in the lobby, and while that might just have been nerves, Dean doesn't want to be the asshole that pressured his virgin boyfriend(?) into sex.

Cas rolls his hips forwards in response and Dean groans into his ear, his fingers digging into Cas's soft skin as he feels the waves of pleasure rippling under his skin, pooling in his groin. "I think we should have intercourse, Dean. I see now that it would be a very good idea."

Cas doesn't seem to need to stop kissing and tonguing at Dean's skin in order to get those words out, which is fine by Dean, so he decides that, given definite consent, the shirt needs to come  _off_ now. He tugs it up to Cas's underarms, and pulls insistently at it when Cas continues to mouth at Dean's neck. Cas makes a spoilt little noise, but leans back obediently and lifts his arms up, letting Dean slip the shirt off and throw it away.

"What changed your mind?" Dean asks, breathless at the sight of so much unblemished pale skin before him. It's ridiculous, he saw Cas shirtless on the beach just an hour ago, but in this setting, now, it seems startlingly different.

"You." Is Castiel's only response, and Dean grins and flips Cas so he's laying back on the bed, leaning over him with hooded eyes, deciding he needs to show Cas a thing or two if they're gonna do this right.

* * *

Sam is laying in the middle of the king sized bed, drenched in sweat. His eyes are wide, the past hour or so a surreal, blissful blur. He's pretty sure there were covers on this bed at one point, just like he's pretty sure that he had clothes on at some point, but he kind of feels like he never wants to wear clothes ever again.

"You okay, Sammy?" Gabriel asks, suddenly materialising by his side, propped up on one elbow and gazing down at him with an amused smile. He's the epitome of composure, and it would infuriate Sam if he weren't so exhausted. As it is, he can only manage a weak nod before he rolls onto his side to face the Angel, reaching towards him and stroking a hand against his chest. Gabriel smiles, suddenly a little shy, and takes hold of Sam's hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it.

Sam closes his eyes and sighs. "I think you stole my virtue."

Gabriel barks a laugh at that. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure that was long gone."

Sam shakes his head feebly, and Gabriel strokes his hand over all the scarlet marks his mouth has left on the skin of Sam's chest, neck, thighs... Pretty much everywhere he could reach. "Nope. You definitely took it again. I can feel it."

"What's it feel like?"

"Like aching."

Gabriel laughs at him and grabs him around the waist, pulling him forwards with his Archangelic strength until he's crushed against his chest, hand trapped between them. He presses a kiss to the top of Sam's head, and hears him groan. "God, you are a whiny little thing aren't you." Gabriel says fondly, and Sam swats at him. "I give you the best orgasm of your life and you're bitching like a two-year-old."

Sam leans back indignantly, hair falling over his eyes and open mouth. It's adorable. "How do you know it was the best orgasm of my life?"

"Because you passed out for three minutes." Gabriel replies, and Sam just stares at him, shocked. "It was kinda scary, I was considering getting Dean for help." Sam shudders at the idea of Dean bursting in to the room to find his brother having been fucked into unconsciousness by an Archangel. "In the end though I went for the much more sensible option of drawing a moustache on you."

Sam's eyes grow wide and he quickly scrubs at his top lip with the back of his hand. Sure enough, a black smear appears, and he scowls at Gabriel, pushing at his shoulders until he allows himself to be rolled onto his back, Sam on top of him. "You're gonna pay for that."

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah? Sure you've got the energy for that Sammy?"

Gabriel's hands grasp hold of his ass suddenly, squeezing firmly. "I have a quick recovery period." Sam replies.

Gabriel smirks, and skims his hand down Sam's chest, leaving a trail of electric sparks as his - totally unfair - Angelic touch sets off every nerve ending below where his finger meets the skin. "For your sake, I hope so."

Sam bites his lip, and succumbs.

* * *

 

 

 

**Epilogue**

It's not that Dean isn't appreciative of his new Spanish surroundings, really it isn't, and hey the view out of the motel room window that Dean can see if he lifts his head a little is more than awesome in his opinion. Blue skies, rippling waves, bikini-clad girls sprawled on giant sandy beaches – Dean is more than down with that shit.

It's just that when Dean looks down at the space beside him on the bed, he gets a much better view. Castiel isn't sleeping, of course, because he doesn't need to – a bonus Dean hadn't really considered the benefits of until now – so instead he's staring right back up at Dean, his crazy-blue eyes round and wide, as though trying to drink in as much of the man above him as possible. Dean smiles, skimming his fingers lightly over Cas's chest so that he squirms a little.

So yes, some people might say that Dean was wasting a rare opportunity to explore the wonders of Barcelona by spending three days holed up naked in a room with his Angel, but that's not the case. He is _fully_ appreciative of the sights outside, he's just… got some catching up to do.

"Dean, stop tickling me it's very distracting." Castiel mutters, his brow furrowing as he continues to stare at a place just beside Dean's nose.

Dean chuckles, sliding his hand under Cas's waist and leaning towards him so that their noses brush. "Distracting you from what?"

"I'm attempting to determine the exact number of freckles on your face. I'm certain there are more now than when we came."

Dean laughs at him, his fingers pinching his sides gently so that Cas jumps beneath him and scowls. "Well yeah, that's what happens when you have an adorable little Angel to take you somewhere extra sunny."

"Dean, I am an extremely powerful Angel of the Lord, most people would fear my presence." Castiel responds, his finger coming up to trace Dean's cheek. Dean nods, his sombre expression barely hiding a smile. "I hardly think 'adorable' is the correct term to describe-"

Dean kisses him to shut him up, and Castiel only makes a couple of irritated sounds against his lips before he relaxes and tugs Dean closer, his arms winding round his neck. Cas seems particularly fond of that particular move, Dean has noticed, along with some other things. Dean has been taking careful notes you see, as he explores Cas in all these new ways, and he is a very  _very_ good student in this department.

For example, Dean has noticed that Cas particularly likes to be held around the waist, especially as its Dean doing the holding – the Angel even confessed after the first night, at around 3am, that he fears he is becoming addicted to the feeling of being in Dean's embrace. He looked genuinely concerned for his own mental stability when he confided this, and Dean could only laugh and kiss him. Compared to the addictions that people he cares about have found themselves having before - Sam's little demon blood adventure being the one at the forefront of Dean's mind - this one was tame to say the least. Dean's pretty sure he can handle it if Cas gets a little over-cuddly.

As well as this, Dean has taken careful note of the noises Cas makes when he's particularly incoherent, using them as a map to indicate his weakest spots, which Dean particularly enjoys exploiting. Often. Like, Cas has this particular patch between his collarbone and left shoulder, and if Dean kisses it just right, or nibbles at the skin slightly, he can get Cas to make this keening sound, and he'll buck his hips up and dig his fingers into Dean's back. It often takes Dean a few tries to find that spot, and Cas can get a little pouty and petulant, but it's totally worth it.

Dean breaks off from Cas's mouth, deciding to move this party along, and starting to place the first of a long trail of wet kisses down Castiel's neck and chest. Cas runs his fingers through Dean's hair and down the back of his neck, leaving a trail of fire that has Dean stuttering for a moment, his mind fizzing as sparks explode through him.

That's the other thing about sex with Cas, another wonderful bonus that Dean sure as hell didn't see coming but is so grateful for he is actually considering doing the whole church thing, as a thankyou. Cas is an Angel, something Dean really needs to start remembering, because he keeps getting reminded and is then speechless for a few seconds. His Angelic abilities seem to extend to the bedroom, and he has this _thing_ he can do that Dean doesn't even know how to describe; it's like a magic touch, setting Dean's nerves alight. Dean would liken the feelings to mini pre-orgasms maybe, but centered wherever Cas chooses to touch him, and well… it's pretty fucking fantastic in Dean's opinion.

And if he can do that, what else can he do? Dean's already gotten a glimpse or two of the benefits of Cas's super strength; the Angel turns a little demanding when he's really loosened up, and once or twice Dean's been on the receiving end of an annoyed pinning-down, or vice-grip on his wandering wrists. Imagine if Cas got really worked up, threw Dean against the wall and just went crazy (not unlike that time he almost said yes to Michael and Cas beat it out of him, Dean muses). Dean shudders at the thought, his pupils blowing wide, he stops the trail of kisses, glancing up at Cas from somewhere near his belly button and grins.

"You want me to throw you against the wall and fuck you?" Cas asks, his voice utterly underwhelmed. Dean's mouth falls open, stunned.

"How did you-"

"I can read your thoughts, Dean." Castiel replies, a smile playing on his mouth. Dean should be horrified, livid with Cas for invading his privacy like that. Instead, he grins saucily.

"How els're you gonna prove you're not an adorable little cherub?"

Castiel's s eyes darken, and he makes a throaty sound that's not unlike a growl. Dean tries hard not to swallow, but feels a weird kind of thrill thrumming through him. His heart beats a little faster.

Then, before he can properly fathom what's happening, Castiel is moving, and then he feels the cool painted brick of the hotel wall against his bare back. Castiel is gripping him by the waist, his lips practically on Dean's he's so close.

"I'm  _not_ adorable." Castiel says and it sounds so petulant, Dean can't help but grin. His feet aren't touching the floor, and man this is  _awesome,_ Cas is barely even trying. Here he'd been thinking Cas liked it when Dean was on top, and he suspects that's true in reality, but come on, they cannot waste Cas's powers when it results in something as hot as this.

Dean hooks his legs around Cas's waist, and his never-broken gaze as he does it is enough to make the Angel blush, which is completely bizarre considering their current position. He threads a hand through the tousled curls of Cas's hair and smiles at him, fondly. Castiel smiles back, unable to stay cross with Dean despite his warped perception of the Angel in front of him, and something hits Dean suddenly, causing his mind to reel for a moment as he tries to comprehend it.

"Fuck, Cas…" Dean breathes, his eyes wide. Castiel looks momentarily concerned, and Dean can tell he's about to put him down, so he strokes a hand over Cas's head soothingly. "I think I love you, man." His voice is barely a whisper.

Dean isn't exactly sure why he said it aloud, it's something he rarely said to Cassie or even Lisa, and he thinks it's probably because with them it wasn't entirely true. He did love them, of course he did, but he wasn't…  _in_ love with them. It wasn't like this.

Dean thinks about the millions of times he's shut down walls in his mind every time a sneaky thought comes from nowhere about Cas, about how sweet he is, how self-sacrificing, how  _pretty_ even; something that his old self would have found weak or pathetic or creepy. He thinks he's probably loved Cas for a long time, it's just taken his stupid repressed, emotionally stunted self a few years to realise it.

Dean realises Castiel is smiling at him, and he is shocked out of his reverie by Cas's lips covering his own. He kisses back, gentle at first, because he's a little hesitant – he's just realised he  _loves_ this guy for God's sake. Castiel is insistent, his kisses are hard and firm, and Dean is powerless, kissing back with just as much fervour. He squeezes his legs, still wrapped around Castiel's waist, and Cas moans, the vibrations travelling into Dean's softened lips.

"I love you too, Dean." Cas gushes, breathy and almost lost in their joined mouths. "Always have." Castiel is saying, and Dean can't think, can't focus because Cas's hands are suddenly everywhere, he's using his hips to pin Dean to the wall and somehow still rolling them forwards grinding against him, damp and perfect. "Always will."

Dean's last coherent thought is that he feels so lucky, he's almost sure someone must have planned this.

* * *

"No, I'm just saying I think I'm a lot more flexible now." Sam reiterates to Gabriel, who is currently licking a stripe of whipped cream off of Sam's abdominal muscles.

"What, so you think that just cause I've been pushing you to your bendability limits that's perfectly reasonable grounds for you becoming a gymnast?" Gabriel replies, and Sam sighs, taking hold of one of his hands and pulling him up so that they're face to face, Gabriel on top of him.

"Pretty much." Sam replies, grinning. Gabriel smirks at him and rolls his eyes.

"You won't need to become a gymnast baby," Gabriel says, kissing him quickly and laughing when Sam winces at the endearment, "I've got plenty of workouts planned for us."

Sam has been in this bed for an unknown amount of time, but he's surprisingly not fussed about that. Gabriel has been keeping him pretty occupied; the guy is extremely imaginative, and his powers of altering reality really make things interesting.

"Gabe, do you think Dean and Cas are alright?" Sam asks, suddenly a little concerned. Gabriel doesn't respond, focusing on squirting a dollop of whipped cream onto Sam's nipple. "I mean, last time we saw them they looked a little… apprehensive."

Gabriel swallows the large glob of cream in one gulp, his lips lingering for a moment on Sam's sensitive flesh. Sam gulps, watching.

Gabriel looks up, smiling at him. "I happen to know they're fine. More than fine in fact. I do believe your brother is  _still_ in the process of de-flowering my little brother." Sam's mildly disgusted face is enough to make Gabriel laugh and roll over, landing on his back beside Sam, who whines at the loss of contact. "It's a process that apparently takes three days you see."

Sam reaches towards him, needing to feel Gabriel's hand entwined with his again, because yes, okay he's a little addicted to it. Hey, addictive personality, alright?

And it's not like it's a strange occurrence that Sam is a little emotionally needy all of a sudden; after all, pretty much everyone he's ever loved dies, including Dean, though he's not sure if that one counts. Definitely anyone he's ever been with both emotionally  _and_ physically is long gone. He just needs to reassure himself that Gabriel is still here, and he knows it's stupid cause he's been right beside him for three days, but still.

"Hey," Gabriel says, his voice suddenly soft. He rolls back over towards Sam and dips his fingers into his long hair. Oh right, thinks Sam, he's probably been following that train of thought. "I'm not going anywhere, Sam. You think I concocted this crazy plan to just skip out on you once I get what I so desperately wanted?"

Sam can't help but smile. He looks away, unable to maintain eye contact when Gabriel is saying something so sweet, because it's  _Gabriel._

"You've been inside me, you know I'm all messed up in the head." Sam mumbles, and Gabriel looks confused for a moment, and then it clicks.

"We're gonna have to work on your phrasing." Gabriel replies. "I've been inside you in lots of ways, it's difficult to know which one you're referring to at any given moment." Sam swats at him and buries his face in his shoulder. "Yeah, I know Sammy." Gabriel murmurs after a while, running a hand over Sam's hair. "It's a big old mess in this noggin. Luckily, I love you anyway."

Sam sits back and stares at Gabriel, his eyes suddenly saucers. "What?"

Gabriel is looking away from him, eyes trained on Sam's chest, but he glances up innocently at the question. "Hmm? I didn't say anything."

Sam splutters and pushes hard against the Angel's shoulders, pinning him back on the bed. Gabriel is smirking now in that infuriating way that Sam wants to kiss off, but instead he says, "You love me?"

Gabriel's eyebrows knit together in faux confusion, and he frowns up at Sam, tilting his head against the pillows. "Now where would you get that idea?"

Sam decides he's had enough, and leans down to kiss Gabriel ferociously, letting his teeth and tongue demonstrate how serious he is about this matter. Gabriel laughs against his lips as he continues the kissing, before pushing Sam backwards easily, holding him by the shoulders so that Sam can't get free.

"Gabriel, do you love me?" Sam asks, infuriated at his inability to continue the assault. Gabriel pretends to think for a long moment, his face contorting into several expressions, all of which drive Sam a little more insane.

"Gonna have to think about that one." Gabriel replies eventually, shrugging as if the thought never even occurred to him. But Sam  _knows_ he heard it, so he's not giving up.

With a fleeting smirk in Gabriel's direction, Sam plunges his fingers into the depths of the Angel's hair, curling them around and twisting the roots, tugging until Gabriel's eyes flutter and he's gasping.

"Tell me." Sam says, and Gabriel presses his lips together, not giving in. Sam just smiles and reaches further into the slicked coiffure, trailing his digits across the back of Gabriel's scalp and then scratching his nails against the soft skin.

Gabriel writhes and moans beneath him, and that in itself is very distracting; writhing naked Angels generally are in Sam's opinion. "Tell me if you love me, Gabriel."

"How can you use my one weakness against me like this, Sam?" Gabriel cries in a hurt voice, but he's grinning. He bites his lip as Sam tugs harder; he obviously has one hell of a kink. "'I trusted you, Sam! How could you-"

He cuts himself off with a cry of pure pleasure when Sam squeezes both hands together, raking his fingers along the sharp jut of Gabriel's cranium.

"Oh,  _fuck_ okay, okay I love you!" Gabriel cries, and his eyes squeeze shut against the cataclysmic sensations coursing through him. "I love you, okay, I said it. Why do you think I cooked up this stupid plan?"

Sam's fingers go slack and he slowly unwinds himself from Gabriel's hair. He's speechless. He knew, of course, that Gabriel was kind of… obsessed with him, in a way he didn't entirely understand. But love? That was different, it was so…  _human._ Something that Sam knew from experience was extremely powerful, even deadly. He had loved Jess, he told her every day and it still wasn't enough.

Now Gabriel is in love with him? It's overwhelming. Flattering, and Sam knows immediately that it's completely true. It's the only thing that makes any sense, that fits with everything Gabriel has been doing. What's even more overwhelming is his responding feeling.

Gabriel is eyeing him warily, one eye closed, and Sam can feel his heart pounding nervously where their bodies are touching, clearly afraid of what he just admitted.

"I… I love you too." Sam says, and he looks confused at the words spilling out of his mouth. Gabriel rolls his eyes, clearly disbelieving.

"Sam, don't-"

"I think I loved you when you saved Dean from that Witch." Sam says, half to himself, his forehead creased as he tries to figure out what's happening. "You're impossible. And annoying. And kind of an asshole sometimes."

"Gee, thanks Sammy." Gabriel replies when it looks for a moment like Sam isn't going to say anything else.

"But you're also hilarious and brave and determined. " Sam continues, and his eyes flick up to Gabriel's, who looks almost as confused as he does, still pinned beneath Sam. "You're secretly moral, and sweet and passionate.

"Don't forget sexy." Gabriel adds, smiling.

Sam grins back, and leans forwards, forgetting everything else. So what if they still have loads to figure out? Being with Gabriel was always going to be confusing. Being in love with him is… terrifying. But it's also manageable, probably – at least compared to the Apocalypse. He rests his mouth just above Gabriel's, letting his long hair tickle the sides of the Angel's awestruck face.

"Oh, I won't."

Sam kisses him, smiling.

* * *

"So, Gabe… we're in your Heaven right now?"

"Kinda. I created it, it's not really anybody's, I just made it mine."

"Huh. So can I see my Heaven? My personal slice of paradise?"

"Hmm. I think I can probably show you a glimpse."

"What do you mean- ooft!  _Oh…._ "

* * *

"Cas, can I see your wings?"

"No, Dean."

"Please?"

"It's not a question of pleading Dean, your senses are too dull to perceive them."

"But I saw their shadows!"

"Yes, I could potentially manifest a version of them, but it could likely create an astronomical disturbance-"

"I'll make it worth your while."

"What do you mean- Oh! Dean!  _Dean…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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